“There’s, uh…” She trails off and wrings her hands. “You should probably come home.”
I frown. “Sierra-“
“An FBI agent stopped by the house, Ivy.”
What?
Her face falls and she looks away from me.
“You okay?”
She turns back to me, a hurt look on her face. “Ivy, you’re married?”
And that’s when the floor drops out. That’s when it suddenly feels like I’m floating in free-fall, flailing at dead air as the bottom rushes up to meet me.
Oh my God.
The wind goes out of my lungs and I stagger, turning to gasp for air as I stare out at the harbor, trying to focus.
I turn back to my sister, shaking my head. “Sierra-”
“Look, I’m not mad that you didn’t tell-” she trails off and looks at the dock beneath our feet.
“Okay, no, I’m mad.” She looks up, a wry look on her face. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”
“I was going to,” I say softly, swallowing. “We were both going to, before…”
I look away again, and I feel her hand on my shoulder, squeezing me.
“Hey, I get why you didn’t.”
I look up, almost hating to ask the question. “Does Dad…?”
She nods. “Yeah the FBI guy sort of spilled the beans to everyone on that one.”
I cringe, my face going white as I drop my eyes back to my feet.
“It’s going to be okay, you know.”
I can feel my head shaking as my eyes watch the ocean roll beneath the wooden slats of the dock.
No, it’s not.
Because there’s an FBI agent at my parents’ house, telling them the things I should have told them years ago.
Because history is repeating itself.
Because the man I love is about to break my heart all over again.
And now it’s time to face the music.
“Sit.”
I nod slowly in the doorway to the living room.
They’re all here - Dad, Mom, Rowan, and Stella. Sierra rubs my back gently as I swallow and slowly move into the room, still wearing my ridiculous evening gown. I sit at the far end of the sofa, Sierra sitting between Stella and I. Mom and Dad are in their favorite chairs by the fireplace, and Rowan’s pacing the floor by the windows looking almost more furious than my dad looks.
Almost.
“Why.”
It’s barely phrased as question. I look up at my father, his eyes hard and focused as his hand strokes his silvered beard. It’s the only word he says, but it’s the only one that matters. I know it’s the only thing they’re all thinking anyways.
Why.
Why didn’t I tell them? Why did I marry the boy I shouldn’t have been with in the first place? And I want to say I don’t know the answer to either, but I do.
Because I was scared.
To the first question, I was scared about what they’d say. I was scared to have the conversation I’m going to have with them right now anyways.
But it’s the answer to the second question, too. I was scared - scared of not taking that leap with the one who meant the world to me. I was scared of what it meant to not be with the one who held my heart.
“Why didn’t you tell us honey?” Mom says quietly. She worries her hands in her lap, her brow wrinkling before she looks back up at me.
“You’ve been married for eight years and we didn’t know?”
“I was scared.” I swallow. “I was scared of what you’d say.”
“Well you damn well should have been!” My dad erupts.
Stella reaches over from her end of the couch and puts a hand on his arm.
Rowan stops his pacing and glowers at me. “You married Silas.” He growls.
I nod.
“I’m going to fucking murder him.”
Stella sighs loudly and glares at him. “Okay, everyone needs to calm down. And stop pacing while you’re at it.” She shoots a look at Rowan. “Sit.”
Dad is still shaking his head, refusing to meet my eyes.
“I just don’t understand, Ivy,” he mutters, still stroking his beard as if giving a Sunday sermon.
“Dating the boy was one thing, but marriage?” He finally looks up at me. “Marriage is a serious thing, Ivy. I thought you understood that.”
“I do.”
But we were young, we were crazy, and it seemed like the only way to hold onto each other.
I’m looking at my wringing hands in my lap, chewing on my lip as my dad sighs heavily again.
“Ivy, I just do not understand why you’d tie yourself to a boy like Silas Ha-”
“Because I love him!”
The words burst from my lips like water from a broken damn. The words I’ve kept bottled up and held back, even from myself.
I love him.