I do a double take, blinking at her.
My nephew, as in, family.
She pushes her fingers through her hair and holds my eyes with a fierce gaze. “Look, I know, okay? About you and Ivy.”
My jaw drops. “What do you-”
“I know,” she says quietly, jerking her hand up and flashing her bare ring finger at me with a meaningful look.
Oh.
Shit.
I stare at her, dumbfounded. “She told you?”
Stella nods. “Pretty sure I’m the only one she did, but yeah.” She shakes her head at me. “Jesus, Silas, she had to tell someone after you left like that.”
I meet her hard gaze. “I’m not the monster you think I am, Stella. You know that.”
“I knew that,” she says, her eyes narrowing. “But that was before you left.”
She leans closer out of toddler earshot. “By the way, I’m not quite ready to forgive you for doing that, either.”
“You know it’s complicated.”
She smiles thinly. “Yeah, heard that one before, sport,” she says, nodding meaningfully at Carter. “That’s a guy favorite for why they can’t act like men.”
I glare at her, but she holds it, throwing it right back at me.
I break first, looking away before glancing down at her son. Bright blue Hammond eyes, tow-headed blonde like his mom.
I hate that I wasn’t around for this.
Stella was basically my older sister growing up, even if we’re the same age. She’s always acted older, and she grew up fast. Had a kid fast, that’s for sure. And God should I have been there for this. For one, I wish I’d been there when Carter was born, to be the uncle I should have been. Well, secret uncle, or something.
The other part of me wishes I’d been here so I could have knocked the teeth down the throat of the dumb prick who walked away from her when she was pregnant.
“So, you’re Carter, huh buddy?”
He moves behind his mom’s leg.
Stella sighs. “Carter it’s okay honey, this is your Uncle Silas,” she says, shooting me a look.
I kneel, smiling at him. “How’s it going, little man?”
“Good,” he mumbles quietly, eyes wide.
“You’re being good for your mom, right?”
He nods, wide-eyed.
“Good boy.”
He smiles.
“Can I get a high five?”
He grins wider and nods as I raise my palm. He smacks it, and I glance up to see Stella smirking.
“I’m trying to make things right, Stel,” I say as I stand. “I’m trying to be the man I need to be here. I’m not running from this, not anymore.”
She nods slowly, her eyes sizing me up before the corners of her lips pull up just enough to count as a grin.
Well, at least I’ll be counting it.
I turn back to Carter. “You like fishing, buddy?”
“He’s four, Silas.”
“Well, high time he learned then.”
She gives me a look.
“I could show him how to pick a lock or steal a candy bar if you’d rather.”
Her look sours, but she looks away to try and hide the grin that comes to her face.
“C’mere, buddy.”
I duck into the wheelhouse and grab a spool of fishing line and a lure hook from the rusty old tackle box that was in there when I rented the place. I lace on the lure and cut off a length of line before I kneel next to Carter at the back of the boat. He looks on with big, wide eyes as I show him how to hold on and dangle the line over the side.
I turn back to Stella, who looks reluctantly impressed.
“So. You and Ivy are….?” she trails off, raising a brow at me.
I shake my head. “I don’t know what we are, but I’m working on it.” I hold her look. “I’m not giving up this time.”
Stella moves next to me, her hand ruffling her son’s hair as he stares intently down the line into the water.
“Silas, I wanted you to meet Carter, and I want to believe things are good now, but I haven’t totally forgiven you.”
“You know why I left.”
She nods. “I know why, but that doesn’t mean I like it. You were better than all that, Silas.”
I shake my head. “No, I wasn’t.”
I glance down at my nephew, feeling anger at all the years I missed, but also this glowing warm feeling at being so close now to what I’d always wanted.
Family.
“You all wanted me to be better than that, but I wasn’t.” I look up into Stella’s eyes. “But I am now.”
Carter suddenly screeches as he looks up at me sharply with a wild look on his face and the line jumping in his small hands.
Stella laughs. “Did he actually catch something?”
I kneel next to Carter, who’s cackling away as I help him pull the line up out of the water with the flip-flopping 2-inch flounder flailing around at the hook.