We stay like that, gasping at the memory of this and what this feels like with each other again.
Slowly, he brings me up, before pulling me back onto him, filling me with one stroke. He grinds deep inside, and my head falls back as we start to move together. Up and down, moving like one, riding with the motion of the waves lapping the side of the boat.
This is memory.
This is remembering.
This is fickle time shattering away as we find each other again.
When I come, it’s like the world freezes for a second. When the orgasm rocks through me like a northern storm, I’m frozen for one single second before I explode in his arms. He growls my name over and over into my ear as he comes with me, his hips rocking off the bed to meet me as we crash together.
And it’s a white light, shining through the storm and the waves.
It’s my lighthouse, all over again.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Silas
Silas
We’re wrapped in each other’s arms, her breath against my skin, when she slowly raises her head from my chest. She blinks at me sleepily, like she’s been dozing.
“Shit, I should go.”
I frown. “Where?”
“Home.”
I scowl and she rolls her eyes at me. “I can’t stay here.”
“Sure you can.”
I almost want to tell her she can stay here forever. That she can stay right here with me in this bed for the rest of our damn lives - or at least until we make up for eight fucking years.
Then we can get up.
For food or something.
She grins at me. “I can’t, and you know that.”
I think of the implications of Rowan, or Jacob for that matter, putting two and two together somehow and coming looking for her here when she doesn’t come home.
It’s not a fun thought.
But at the same time, who cares? Ivy’s a grown woman, and capable of doing what she wants and making her own damn decisions. If those decisions just so happen to involve staying right here in my bed without any clothes on, all the better.
“I think you should get back in this bed, and let me worry about what the Hammond family thinks of it all later.”
She smiles, but shakes her head. “I need to go.”
“So when am I seeing you again?”
Her face darkens slightly the second I say it, and she looks away.
Yeah, there it is.
That nagging thought that’s been in my head since she stepped onto this boat tonight comes back with a vengeance, the same question on its lips: is this a reunion or a bookend.
She shakes her head, reading the look on my face.
“Look, Silas, I-”
“It’s complicated, I know.”
She laughs softly. “I don’t think that even begins to describe it.”
And she’s right of course, even if I hate that she is. As much as I tried to deny it, I spent eight damn years trying to come right back here - imagining it in my dreams. In the fantasy, it starts right back up again, like turning on en engine or pushing a button.
Except that’s not a thing.
We’ve both changed since then, we’re not the same kids we were. We’ve been bruised and battered by pain and suffering, battled demons and the memory of each other - her more than me on that last one.
“Look, Ivy, I don’t have any expectations of whatever this-”
“Good.”
We lock eyes for a second before she wrinkles her face. “Sorry, that came out harsh.”
“It’s fine.”
And it is.
“Look,” she slips her hand into mine, squeezing my fingers. “Can we just not label this? There’s a lot going on, and-”
“I know that.” I squeeze her hand back. “I’m here, just know that.”
She looks at me as I stand and put my arms around her.
“I wish you’d never left,” she whispers.
“Me too.”
“No, I mean…” she pulls away and looks down. “I mean I really wish you hadn’t left. It’d have been a lot easier.” She looks back up at me. “Who knows where or what we’d be today?”
“I was on a course for disaster and I was going to bring you down with me.”
“Silas, everyone knows what you did for Rowan.” She shakes her head. “But it doesn’t change that you left.”
I tighten my jaw. “Doesn’t change much for your dad.”
She nods, mulling it over. “Well, you know him.”