“All the other packs are either loyal to Father or fear him. Either way, they’re not going to help me.”
He was silent for a moment as his gaze searched hers. “And there isn’t anyone you would consider accepting as your mate? Even if your father didn’t approve of your choice, it would defuse the situation.”
She pushed the mostly empty plate aside and picked up her mug. Old wounds ached, threatening to break open and bleed. “I… No, there’s been no one since David.”
His head tilted and his brows scrunched together. It was obvious he wanted to delve deeper into the subject. Instead he asked, “Are you defined?”
She shuddered so violently a few drops of hot chocolate rained down on her legs. “Y-yes.” He didn’t know. There was no way he could know her secret. He was asking why she didn’t mate with the man who defined her. It was common practice.
“You weren’t defined by your fiancé?”
“My definition was…complicated.” She didn’t say more and he didn’t pry. But the question unleashed a maelstrom of emotions and memories. Her definition had been every bit as traumatic as what nearly happened tonight. Even six years after the event, she felt ashamed and confused every time she thought about Carlos.
“I think we should call Landon after you’ve had a few hours of sleep. He’s your brother. Besides, he’s already on the outs with most of the wolf packs. What does he have to lose?”
She finished her drink and set the mug on the bar. None of this was Jake’s problem, so why did his suggestion sting? “I’m not sure where I’ll go, but I won’t stay more than one night. I appreciate your hospitality and I won’t impose more than I already have.”
He caught her hand and waited until she looked at him before he said, “I’m not trying to get rid of you. I know you’ve been through hell tonight. I’m just trying to figure out how to help you.”
“You’ve been wonderful. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t agreed to help me.” She eased her hand out of his and slid off the stool. “I’ll see you in the morning, or later in the morning.”
“Rest well.” He gathered the dishes and headed for the sink.
She hurried out of the kitchen and picked up the overnight bag before heading upstairs. It was probably overkill, but she felt safer on the second floor. It was too easy to smash in a window and drag someone out on the ground floor.
A hallway branched off to the right, a railed gallery to the left. She paused.
“First bedroom on your left has its own bathroom. That’s probably your best bet.” Jake stood in the living room, looking up at her. He had a dishtowel draped over his shoulder and still managed to look like the proverbial bad-boy fantasy.
“Thanks.” She ran her fingers along the polished railing, struck again by the mansion’s elegance. One wall in the living room was dominated by the largest flat-screen TV she’d ever seen and another contained floor-to-ceiling windows. Everything was orderly and immaculate, as if it were never touched. She was rapidly getting the impression that Jake didn’t spend a lot of time here.
She walked into the bedroom he’d indicated and shut the door. Moonlight spilled in through a gap in the curtains so she didn’t bother locating the light switch. She dropped the bag to the floor and sat on the edge of the bed, feeling empty and numb.
The first few hours after her shift had been consumed by instinct. She thought of nothing but escape, cared only about survival. But once she lost the hunters and found herself literally surrounded by shit, headed in an unknown direction, her emotions surfaced again. Rage, frustration and loss had twisted through her like tentacles. Even trapped in her wolf form, she’d ached with the need to release the pent-up feelings. She’d whimpered and moaned, expressing her sorrow the only way possible.
Now she was capable of crying but the tears wouldn’t come.
It didn’t matter. Crying never solved anything anyway.
She kicked off her borrowed shoes and was about to crawl into bed when someone knocked on the door. Padding to the door, she eased it open and found Jake holding a black t-shirt.
“Thought this would be more comfortable than trying to sleep in what you’re wearing.”
She took the t-shirt and smiled. “I appreciate it.”
“Then I’ll see you in the morning, or later in the morning.” He loitered in the hallway, as if he were as reluctant to leave her as she’d been to leave him.
Ignoring the tantalizing impulse to grab his hand and pull him into her room, she offered him a halfhearted wave and firmly closed the door.