“Why didn’t you shift and go get help or something?” Devon’s pulse accelerated as she imagined Dorothy’s helplessness. She knew all too well how it felt to be helpless.
“I’d just realized I was pregnant and I wasn’t willing to risk the baby.” Dorothy busied herself with breakfast as they momentarily lapsed into silence. “My mother lost two babies by shifting too soon. With me she didn’t shift the entire time she was pregnant and I was born healthy.” Dorothy looked up from the scrambled eggs and managed to smile. “Don’t let that scare you, hon. It’s a complication with my bloodline, not all Therians.”
The eggs were almost done, so Devon untied the bag surrounding the loaf of bread and put a couple of slices in the toaster. “How did you realize Dieter knew you were shapeshifters?”
“When the beating didn’t change our minds, Dieter told his men to tie Albert to a tree. Then they fastened amulets around both our necks before they turned their evil on me.”
“What sort of amulet?” She didn’t need to ask what sort of evil. There seemed to be an inevitable destination for violence against females.
“It weakened us so badly we couldn’t shift, which made it impossible for us to avoid what they did to me. They made Albert watch as all five of them had a turn at me.”
“I’m so sorry.” Devon barely forced the words past her burning throat and tears blurred her vision. All the shame surged back to the surface constricting her chest and making her tremble. It wasn’t your fault. That’s what Ian had told her last night. So why couldn’t she make herself believe it?
Dorothy filled two plates and brought them to the table before she spoke again. “I’m Ian’s closest neighbor, but I don’t think that’s why he wanted me to talk to you.”
Devon brought her coffee to the table and sat, not sure if she’d be able to eat until she regained control of her emotions. “I don’t know what he expects me to say. I wasn’t raped.”
“Then why do I see my own pain reflected back from your eyes?” Dorothy reached across the table and touched Devon’s hand. “You don’t have to tell me what happened, but talk about what you’re feeling. Keeping it in makes the emotions stronger, gives them more power over you.”
“I don’t think the emotions will make sense unless I explain what happened.” She pressed her mug to her lips but couldn’t make herself drink.
“I’m more than willing to listen, but only if you’re ready to talk.”
Somehow it was easier to share her shame with someone who didn’t know her well, someone who had suffered similar pain. “I was kidnapped and held captive for a month. They kept me alone in a room, with no sound and often no light. They put me through all sorts of tests and gave me all sorts of drugs.” She shuddered as the horror crept up on her again.
Dorothy took her hand again, anchoring her to the present. “You’re safe, Devon. It’s over.”
Allowing the simple touch to calm her, Devon took a moment to organize her thoughts before she continued. “When the project lead realized I couldn’t shift, she altered the focus of her research. I was never really sure what they were trying to learn, other than understanding our ability to transform, of course.”
“This went on for a month?”
“Twenty-eight days to be exact.”
“When did the focus change?” Without releasing her hand, Dorothy picked up her fork and began to eat her eggs. The message was clear and remarkably effective. This was just a conversation about events that could no longer hurt her.
Devon began to relax and the events came flowing out. “The new injections, some sort of gene therapy, revved me up like nothing I’d ever experienced before. I tried to ignore it. I tried walking it off. I tried ice-cold showers, but nothing helped.”
“Did they allow you to masturbate?”
Dorothy’s tone was so matter-of-fact that Devon replied without hesitation. “Yes, but it didn’t help for long. And the urgency grew stronger with each injection.”
“So they gave you someone to help with the sexual frenzy?” Devon only managed to nod, so Dorothy asked, “Was he Therian or human?”
Her secret was almost out. She took a deep breath and pushed it all the way into the light. “They were human. Three of the guards. They weren’t allowed to—penetrate me, but they did everything else you can imagine.” She looked away as tears escaped the corners of her eyes. “And I…liked it.” Her hurried confession ended with a ragged sob and Devon covered her face with her hands.