Rebecca rolled her eyes. “You’re thirty-five. Thirty is the new twenty.”
“That’s all well and good, but I have a failed marriage and no real prospects in my life,” she admitted. “For a thirty-five-year-old to feel this…old sucks. I need a clean slate.”
Rebecca sat down, worry growing in the depths of her eyes. “What is it you want?”
“I want what every woman wants. What I know I deserve,” she said. “I want to find happiness. I lived in a loveless marriage for too long, with a man who never really gave a shit about me. Who only saw me as someone to flaunt around his friends because our parents had money. He fell in love with my bank account. Not me.” She gulped at the raw feelings in her throat. She’d never said these things to her sister. She hadn’t said them to herself.
“Charlotte, I know.”
“No,” she shook her head, “you don’t.” For the first time, in a long time, she opened up the feelings she kept hidden to herself. “Do you know how difficult it is to see happily married couples and know that would never be me? Because even though my husband acted like he cared, I could see in his eyes that the words were said for my benefit. Not out of honesty.
“It was hell to listen to our supposed friends tell me that my husband, the man who vowed to love me, made fun of my body and weight thinking I wouldn’t ever find out.
“Worst of all, to live with the regret of knowing I wasted seven years of my life on him? That it took me that long to grow the fucking balls to tell him to go fuck himself?” She licked her lips. “No. You don’t know. I live with the regret of wishing I’d taken a stand sooner.”
“But you did. You got a divorce. You nailed his ass to the wall when he tried to take your savings. You eviscerated him in front of his friends when you told them what a pathetic excuse for a man he is. And that he had a tiny dick that he couldn’t keep up.”
Yes. She had done that. Anger and hurt had given her the balls to stop being a pushover. Never again. Since she’d learned to stand up for herself, she’d never allow another person to put her down in any way. Not for her weight and not for her body.
“You’ll find your happiness, sis,” Rebecca’s mumbled. Dammit, Charlotte had managed to make her usually spitfire sister sad. “Hey, look at me. I have no man. I am doing okay.”
“You can take on the world Becca. I see it with every article you write. You give the best advice. You empower other women every day.” She smiled at her sister. “That’s who you are. You don’t take any bullshit from anyone. I love it. I love you. But you didn’t go through a divorce that fucked up your self-esteem and your trust in men.”
“No. I haven’t gone through that, but I have had horrible relationships. I don’t let them keep me down. You can’t let that horrible marriage get the best of you. You’ve been rid of him for over a year.”
“I know. But this is why I need a break. I need to go somewhere new. I want to meet a man who will love me.” Charlotte motioned down to her body. “All of it. Every dimple. Every curve. Every roll. I want someone who will want to strip me naked. A man who wants to look at my body and love it as it is. A man who will make love to me so desperately, he won’t know how to handle it.” She nodded. “That’s what I want. And I’m going to get it,” she said with assurance. “But for now, I need to reset my clock. I need to get away. Have fun. See new places. That’s why I’m leaving.”
Rebecca offered her hand and motioned for her to come close. “I understand.”
“Thank you,” she said, sitting next to her sister on the single sofa she’d left in the house. “I need to relax and have fun. That man, the right man, for me will come. Until then, I will travel and spend time with my best friend.” She smiled at Rebecca and hugged her to her side, leaning her head into Rebecca’s shoulder. “My other best friend.”
“Okay.” Rebecca sighed. “But if I don’t hear from you in a few months, I swear I will hunt down this Gerri woman and make her take me to you. Do you understand?”
Charlotte laughed. What were the chances of that? Highly likely. According to Gerri, if she stayed a week after Bella married, it would mean months in earth time. “Give it six months. I should be back by then.”
Rebecca frowned. “What if I want to write you? Talk to you?”
Charlotte pursed her lips. “I don’t know yet. I’ll ask Gerri. She can get any message I have to you. I’ll see what she says. Any messages can go through her.”