He gave me another tight squeeze and a peck on the cheek, and before I knew it, he was leaving. I couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed that the deeply satisfying kiss we shared in my dream was replaced by a mere brush of his lips on the cheek. Nevertheless, the tingle on my skin lingered as I stared at him while he trudged toward the exit. Watching him from behind, I was reminded of the last painful goodbye we endured at Fairbanks. After he released me from that monumental hug, I’d stood on the sidewalk completely shattered—he’d never even looked back.
But this time, just before he disappeared around the corner, Chris spun around. With sad, wistful eyes, he held my gaze. It took everything within me to keep from running straight back into his arms. Standing in the middle of the busy airport, I felt as though someone had sucked all of the oxygen out of the air. Lifting his hand for one more sad wave goodbye, he headed out the door.
He’s amazing, but he’s not mine. He belongs to everyone else… the greedy, clamoring, screaming fans who have no idea that behind that guitar and that spectacular voice, there is more than just a sexy man. There is an honorable man with a heart of gold who would give the shirt off his back for anyone. A strong man who has overcome obstacles in his life that nearly broke his spirit, but who walks tall with a beautiful, perfectly flawed soul—the one soul that very likely holds the key to my heart.
It took several seconds for me to turn around and walk toward security. As I numbly boarded the plane, I placed my bag in the overhead compartment and settled into my seat. Before the airplane pulled away from the gate, I slid my fingers across the screen of my phone, reliving every moment from the weekend that I could from the pictures we’d snapped along the way.
“Hard to say goodbye, huh?” A raspy voice spoke up beside me.
I looked up at the elderly lady sitting beside me. A pale, blue pair of eyes and a bobbling head of white hair greeted me with a sympathetic smile.
Nodding my head, I replied, “It sure is.”
“Honey, don’t I know it.” She waved a wrinkled hand at me. “I remember when I was twenty and my Robert was leaving for the war. It was one of the hardest days of my life.” She patted my shoulder. “Sweetheart, you hang in there. You’ll see him again soon. Probably tonight when you close your eyes to go to sleep,” she said with a knowing wink.
“No doubt,” I sighed as I buckled my seatbelt and sunk tiredly into my seat. No doubt.
The sweet, little lady reached over and squeezed my hand. “Hang onto those dreams, honey. Never let them fade. Dreams are all I have left in this world of my precious Robert.” She clutched a tight hand to her chest, fondly staring off into the distance.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered.
She smiled reassuringly. “Oh no, honey. Don’t you feel sorry for me. Robert was the best thing that ever happened to me. We had a great life together. My sweet boy, Robbie, was born nine months later, so when Robert came home after his tour, we began our lives as a family. Now, I’m not saying everything was perfect. Lord knows we had our struggles, stubborn ass that he could be sometimes.” She smiled thoughtfully, chuckling at her own brutal honesty. “Robert passed away about five years ago. Dreams just help me keep on living that happiness over and over every night. No, ma’am, don’t you feel sorry for me for one second.”
I smiled. “Maybe years from now I’ll be in your shoes, giving that pep talk one day.”
She leaned over my shoulder, peering at the screen in front of me through her reading glasses. “About him?” she asked with a mischievous grin. “I’d say so.”
I laughed. “You never know…”
Just then, one of the flight attendants walked by, asking everyone to turn off their cell phones. I stuffed it into my purse, laid my head back against the seat, and closed my eyes.
I left the airport with my stomach in knots. I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. The feeling in the pit of my stomach when I was with her… it was unlike anything I’d felt before. I couldn’t explain it. This was not the desperate ‘I can’t breathe without you’ kind of feeling I had for Kaitlyn. No. This feeling was different. I didn’t know what to call it yet, but there was something about Salem that made me want to spend every moment I could with her. Salem made me feel… me again. I could be myself around her. I didn’t have to pretend…
Which led me to my next realization… I had to tell her. I needed to talk to her about the kid. I knew some people would think I was crazy. Hell, maybe I really was out of my head. I mean, I wasn’t even sure he was mine, but if I wanted to be with Salem, I wanted to make sure there were no secrets between us. She needed to know. Maybe she could help me shed some light on the situation.