Then There Was You(71)

Chris finally broke the silence. “Salem, I can’t tell you what it means to me that you came this weekend. I know it has to be kinda weird for you… my former counselor and all. But things are so different now. You know that, right?” His eyes were so full of sincerity that I couldn’t deny it.

I knew. I could see by the stubble on his face and the laugh lines around his eyes that things were different—new and fresh. But, he was right. It still felt strange. And glorious. And weird. And amazing. I couldn’t decide how I felt, but I was just going to try to enjoy my time with him without thinking about the ‘ifs, ands, or buts.’

“Yeah, I know things are different,” I admitted hesitantly, “and here in New York, it doesn’t matter. That’s what I love about being here with you. Here things can be anything we want them to be. But back home I’m Salem Honeycutt, your former juvenile detention counselor.”

“Ugh,” Chris groaned. “It does sound weird, doesn’t it?”

“Tell me about it,” I said, pouting.

We continued to walk in silence as kids ran and played in the grass, couples held hands on blankets spread out in the morning sun, and pigeons strutted around as they searched for their next meal.

After several minutes of quiet people-watching, Chris stopped walking. I’d taken several steps ahead of him before I realized he wasn’t strolling along beside me anymore. I turned around to face him, wondering why he’d stopped.

“You know,” he muttered, “when they put me back in juvie, I’d pretty much hit rock bottom.”

“I remember.” I glanced up at him, recalling the day that hard and angry teen shuffled into my office.

Chris stared at me—an intense stare that I sensed meant more than just what it seemed on the surface. Smiling at me with a grateful expression, he said softly, “Then there was you, and I felt so connected to you in ways that I couldn’t explain. You helped me so much. You changed my life, really.”

I nodded, knowing the impact he’d had on my life too. “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thanked God for you,” I admitted. “You came into my life at the perfect moment. I was young too, you know. Barely twenty-four. Newly married. A new mom. New in my career. I was young and naïve, and struggling in my own right.” Throwing his own words back at him, I said softy, “Then there was you.”

I looked off into the distance, thinking of the day he walked out of my life, and said, “I can’t tell you the heartache I experienced when you drove away from juvie that day.”

“I know what you mean,” Chris said sadly, “It felt weird needing you that much… like there was something wrong with me. But, I was completely fucking lost without you. I didn’t have anyone to talk to anymore.”

The pain of that day was such a faded memory, but standing there in front of him brought it all back again. We both shook our heads, trying to forget that sad and lonely time in our lives. We continued walking toward the carousel, our chance to let the past go and enjoy the moment.

Just as we rounded the corner, I saw it—the majestic, vintage carousel with the intricately designed horses. “Wow,” I said under my breath. “It’s beautiful.”

It was like a fairytale, and I’d found myself drawn to it—drawn into the fairytale of being here with Chris and pretending like our pasts didn’t matter.

Suddenly Chris turned into an excited little kid. With a little hop in his step, he shouted, “Let’s go! I get the black horse!” and took off running.

His exuberance was contagious. “No way! Me first!” I called, chasing after him.

We rode the carousel at least four times in a row. I was almost dizzy with going around so many times. But the giddiness in Chris never waned. It was fun watching him let loose, ridding himself of the rock star image he felt the need to uphold. I watched him hold his head back and laugh, pretending to lasso the horse in front of him, and my heart never felt so alive.

When the carousel came to a stop on our last ride, Chris jumped off his stallion. “Let’s break for lunch. You hungry?”

My belly was too full of nerves to be hungry, but I could eat. “Yeah,” I told him, “but there’s just one thing…”

He looked at me curiously, “Oh yeah, what’s that?”

I wasn’t ready to give up this jovial side of Chris yet, so I playfully punched his shoulder shouting, “Tag! You’re it!” and took off running. Big mistake. He chased me while I screamed like a swarm of bees was after me.

I ran across the grass trying to escape him, but he was hot on my trail. Next thing I knew he grabbed me from behind. Our legs got tangled and we both collapsed, landing on a soft patch of freshly mowed grass. I fell on top of him like a sack of potatoes. Thud! I was instantly embarrassed, but the smile on his face and his deep, hearty laugh helped alleviate my humiliation.