I could hear Jeremy in the background making lewd remarks.
I laughed, reminded of my own younger brother and the way he used to pester me while I was on the phone. “You sound like brothers.”
He laughed. “Oh, we are. And I’m getting ready to kick his ass like the big brother that I am,” he said pointedly at Jeremy. “Go away, dude.”
I heard Jeremy through the phone, “Who are you talking to?”
“It’s Salem.”
“Salem?” Jeremy asked. “Does Salem want your dick the way Amanda does?”
“Shut the fuck up, bro,” he snapped.
“Amanda?” I teased, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Chris sighed. “He’s just being a dickhead. There is no Amanda. He’s just messin’ with you.” Turning his attention to Jeremy, he growled, “Get out of here, asshole!”
I heard Jeremy’s muffled laughter as Chris tried to move to a more private area to talk.
“Sorry,” Chris apologized. “He’s already drunk. We have the night off, and he’s just getting started.”
I remembered my college days and how much fun we had partying on Thursday nights. Wow, to have that kind of freedom again. I wasn’t sure at my age if that would be a good thing or a bad thing though. I guess, in some ways, both.
“It’s okay,” I assured him. “I understand. You live the ultimate party scene as a celebrity rock star.”
Sounding bored by it all, he said, “Yeah, things can get kinda crazy around here sometimes.”
I chuckled, just in case I’d misinterpreted his tone. “I bet so. I remember my college days well. Now I just lead this boring life, day in and day out.”
“I think that’s why I envy you.” His voice was low, soft and personal.
It shocked me. “Envy me? There’s nothing spectacular about my life. I can assure you.”
He sounded wistful with his response. “Yeah, you’re settled down. You have a steady job, a house, a home-cooked meal every night… That sounds like the fucking life.”
I laughed. “Yeah, right. I have bills I can barely pay. I never go anywhere except work and home, and occasionally the grocery store. I have to cook and clean, do laundry, scrub toilets. Oh, it’s definitely the life.” My voice was heavy with sarcasm. Grinning, I continued, “I’d much rather have room service, meals I don’t have to slave over, and so much money I don’t know how to spend it all.”
“Trust me. This life is not all that glamorous.” The hollowness in his voice indicated how empty he felt. “I mean, yeah, I have all that stuff which is nice, but I also have crazy men with cameras following me around all day, documenting my every move. I almost never spend the night in the same bed twice, except on this tour bus with this wood composite bed and paper thin mattress. I miss home, family, and people far away, who I’d much rather be spending time with.”
My breath lodged in my throat. Like me?
He continued, breaking my heart with how lonely he sounded. “I’m not kidding, Salem. It’s been a rough few months. From bumping into Kaitlyn again recently and all that stemmed from that, to being back on the road on this never-ending tour, then bumping into you again in Charlotte. My head has been a mess. I’m a fucking wreck. Sometimes I miss those days when I could just sit in your office and talk.”
“Sometimes I miss those days too…” my voice trailed. Because in some ways I did miss those days, but in other ways, I didn’t. That seventeen year old boy was special to me, but now… It still scared me to let myself think of the possibilities of what could happen between us.
“I think I respected and trusted you more than anyone in my life. When no one else in my life could even begin to get through to me, you always did. Finding someone like you was a blessing. I moved around a lot in school, so I never really had a lot of friends. My kid brother was exactly that—a kid. I had my mom, but you know how moms are. And I had my dad, but he was locked away in prison.” He paused, and for a moment I could almost feel the heat of his breath through the phone. “Then there was you.”
Whoa. My eyes closed, and I inhaled a staggering breath. My emotions were all over the place. I felt a pull so strong from our past that it was so easy to reconnect like this, talking and laughing as if it were yesterday. But at the same time, I found myself withholding a feeling deep inside—one I couldn’t quite put my finger on… or was afraid to, really. Something about it felt wrong because he was once a client, so I bottled it up and tried to ignore it.