Then There Was You(100)

Salem released her folded arms, dropping them down by her sides. I wondered if she could hear the truth in my voice because her glaring hostility was beginning to fade a little. “So, you stopped because you didn’t want to hurt me?” She cocked her head a little, trying to grasp my explanation.

Reaching up, I clutched the back of her head and met her at eye level. My face was inches from hers as I whispered, “Of course I stopped because I didn’t want to hurt you, but beyond all that, Salem, I’m done hurting me.”

In that moment, her expression softened. “Oh, Chris…” her voice faltered and her hands flew to her gaping mouth.

I took a step closer, pulling her me. “I’m not fucking this up. No one else gets me the way you do. I don’t want to lose you. No matter what I do or where I go, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be than with you.”

She looked up at me, tears pooling in her eyes. “What about…?” She hesitated to finish.

She didn’t have to say it. I knew what she was asking. Her voice was like an uncertain child, and she looked so fragile, I just wanted to hold her and kiss her until she felt strong again, until she knew how certain I was about us. “I can’t pretend that Kaitlyn didn’t exist. She was a huge part of my life. You know that. But, what’s past is past. I can’t keep living there. I need to move forward, and so I am. With you.”





The tears I cried as he held me in his arms were not for his apology, but were tears of joy for witnessing firsthand his emotional growth. I’d met him as a broken teenager, who’d coped with his struggles by building walls around his tender heart. Our fleeting time together at Fairbanks proved little progress in reversing the years of heartache and pain. I’d kept up with him, through the media, on his rise to fame, as he dealt with life the only ways he knew how—alcohol and sex. I’d seen him self-destruct, little by little, year after year. He’d made some progress over the past few months, but like a lot of addicts, self-destructive ones included, he’d experienced a small setback. But thank goodness, he caught his mistake before it was too late. No, the tears I cried weren’t for myself or for the fact that he’d hurt my feelings. Rather, they were tears of relief, knowing he’d finally had a breakthrough.

It was the moment he lifted my hands to his lips that I noticed it. He’d added more words to the tattoo on his forearm. The calligraphy letters sprawled across his skin.





“Your tattoo,” I whispered in the darkness.

He smiled against the tops of my hands. “You like it?” His breath was hot against my skin.

I remembered the note he’d left on my pillow the night after we’d made love.





“It’s beautiful,” I sighed.

The softness in his eyes weakened my already weary heart. He brushed strands of hair away from my face. “It’s how I feel. I hoped for you, and in you, I found hope.” Running his thumb down my cheek, he gently caressed my skin. His face was so full of emotions, strong feelings he hadn’t allowed himself to experience in quite some time. He softly kissed my trembling lips and whispered, “I love you, Salem.”

Hearing those words took my breath away. I felt the same way, and I sensed his urgent need to hear me say it back. I stared into eyes, seeing the years of heartache lifting away when I whispered, “I love you too, Chris.”

As his lips crashed into mine, the threads of our souls tangled together, carefully stitching the broken pieces of our shattered hearts.

Chris pulled away first. “Come on,” he said, pulling me toward his car. “I wanna take you somewhere.”

Warily, I asked, “Where?”

He just smiled. “You’ll see. Get in.” He opened the door and motioned for me to sit in the passenger’s seat.

I climbed in, and he shut the door behind me. There was a spring in his step as he made his way to the driver’s seat. I wondered where he was taking me.

Thankfully, the effects of the alcohol were quickly wearing off. “Tell me. Where are we going?” I asked again, looking up at the ominous night sky that looked heavy with precipitation.

“Downtown,” Chris stated with no more explanation.

Before long, we pulled into a vacant parking lot in the middle of the downtown area. My office was just around the corner. Chris hopped out and opened my car door for me. By then, it had started to drizzle. I didn’t know for sure when the bottom would drop out, but he seemed insistent, so I took his hand. He continued to hold mine as he walked me toward the courtyard in front of a tall brick office building toward a large fountain. Years ago, the city had built the fountain, planted some trees, and updated the downtown square in an effort to boost local commerce. Unfortunately, with the construction of the local mall and the big box stores, the downtown area had really taken a hit.