“But she isn’t just any girl,” Cade finished.
“Yeah, exactly. She’s…” Merrick broke off even as the firm realization took hold. “She’s the one.” And he knew as he said it that it was the irrevocable truth. Somehow speaking it aloud gave it more strength. It solidified what he’d been grappling with for months now. It was a relief to get it out, to say the words, for Cade to know where Merrick stood.
His pulse was pounding in his head and chest like a freight train roaring down the tracks. He stared back at Cade as the enormity of their discussion hit him like said freight train.
“Now you know why I’ve been doing so much thinking about this,” Cade said in a grim voice. “Because I feel the same way, and I know you do too. One of us has to lose, and I don’t want that. I don’t think Elle wants it, even if she doesn’t know exactly what it is she wants.”
“You’re telling me you would be okay with…sharing…her with me?” Merrick asked in disbelief.
“What I’m asking is whether you’d be okay with sharing her with me,” Cade said. “I know what I’m okay with. I don’t know what you are. I’ve had several months to make peace with this. I don’t see an alternative. At least not one that offers us all a chance at happiness.”
He was right. It was insanity, but Cade was right, and Merrick couldn’t even wrap his brain around it. Didn’t know how to respond. What to say. How to even agree to such a bizarre proposition.
“We don’t know if she’ll ever go for this,” Merrick muttered.
“Of course we don’t. But how stupid would it be for me or you to even mention it to her if we weren’t in agreement ourselves? If we do this, we have to present a united front, and we have to be damn convincing. She’s not going to want to cause trouble between us. I think she’d up and disappear on us if she even thought this would strain our relationship.”
“Christ.”
“Yeah, exactly. We have to be careful, man. I don’t want to lose her. She’s been through enough. I want her to be happy. I want to make her happy. Hell, I want us to make her happy.”
“And what about her past?” Merrick asked, putting into words the thought that had haunted him the last six months. What happened when she remembered everything? What if she had a life she wanted to return to?
“We cross that bridge when we get to it,” Cade said quietly. “What else can we do? Look, no one has been looking for her. We’ve had feelers out. Dad has been monitoring missing persons through his friend at the station. From everything we know, I’d say whoever was in her life was the one who tried to kill her. There’s nothing for her to go back to.”
“That’s my feeling too, but my gut is screaming that this could backfire on us in a big way. We get emotionally invested, and then she gets yanked away from us.”
“Merrick, we’re already emotionally invested.”
Merrick was quiet for a long moment. “You got me there. I am. That’s not going to change.”
“So let’s do something about it,” Cade urged. “We talk to Elle. Find out how she’s feeling. I don’t want to rush her. I’ll wait for damn ever if that’s what it takes. I don’t want to push her into a physical relationship. I just want and need her to know what’s going on here…and what we want.”
Merrick swallowed hard. This may well be the most fucked up, insane thing he’d ever agreed to in his life. It also might be the most rewarding. He closed his eyes and sucked in a deep breath. When he reopened them, Cade was staring back, determination etched in every one of his features.
“Okay,” Merrick said quietly. “Okay. We’ll try it.”
C H A P T E R F O U R T E E N
ELLE PULLED INTO THE PARKING lot of the local grocery store, a goofy grin attacking her face. She’d done it! She’d left the sanctuary of Merrick and Cade’s house—on her own—and had driven to the grocery store…by herself!
Her triumph didn’t temper her caution, though, and she glanced carefully around the parking lot before she got out and hurried for the entrance. Despite her upbeat mood, there was still lingering insecurity over the fact that, for the first time since Cade and Merrick had found her in the gun shop, she was striking out on her own. The first time she’d been without at least one of them since the very beginning.
She grabbed one of the carts and pulled out her list, checking to make sure Merrick’s debit card was still securely in her pocket. Then with a deep breath, she began her shopping trip.