Their Virgin Secretary (Masters of Ménage #6)(92)

"Tate," she called softly. "We really should talk. I didn't mean to hurt you."

He didn't break stride, didn't acknowledge that she'd spoken. He just stared straight ahead, his strong face closed off. "Tell me whether or not you want this. That's the only conversation we need to have."

Belle bit her lip. She'd done a number on him. She hadn't realized it at the time, but now she understood that he'd misinterpreted everything she'd said through his own filter. Unwittingly, she'd pushed his buttons. "I don't even know what this is anymore, Tate."

"Sex. That's it."

No, it wasn't. He might be angry, but he couldn't stop caring for her in the blink of an eye any more than she could stop caring for him. He was simply hurt, and she'd have to help him understand that she wasn't pushing him aside for Eric or Kell.

That realization helped her find an inner well of calm, even as he kicked open the bedroom door. The knob bounced off the wall, but he either didn't notice or didn't care, just strode into the room and headed for the bed. Given his predatory mien, she should probably be trying to escape or at least balking, but Tate would never hurt her, even if she had wounded him deeply.

She palmed his nape and tried to catch his remote dark stare. He looked past her, and that made Belle ache. He was a little too good at shutting her out. Then again, growing up he had probably learned from the best.




       
         
       
        
What had his childhood been like, raised in a cold household by unfeeling parents who had valued only his intellect while repressing his big heart? Eric had been his first-and for years, his only-friend. They balanced one another.

How would she feel if she'd constantly been told that she was the inadequate half of a whole? Belle kind of understood how crappy that must be. Kinley had always been far more outgoing, the fun, bubbly blonde people gravitated to. If she and Kinley had shared the sort of life Eric and Tate did, she would have been the one on the outside looking in. She'd tasted how bitter that was over the years. Those memories made her ache for Tate even more.

"Those women were wrong to reject you in favor of Eric. You're so wonderful, Tate. For so many things besides sex."

He settled her onto the bed where they'd made love the night before. He could call it sex, but they both knew better. They'd made love. She wished she knew how to open herself, embrace the experience, and trust that it could last.

As Tate followed her to the mattress and pinned her under him, she lay in his arms, offering her acceptance. Even when he was mad at her, he treated her with such care. She blinked up into his dark eyes, hoping he could see her welcome.

"It doesn't matter, Belle. Are you saying yes or no? If you say yes, then you should prepare to submit. If you say no, understand that I won't ask you again. I'll leave you to Kellan and Eric. No matter how you answer, I'll make sure you're safe. But I will keep my distance."

Belle hated ultimatums, but she understood. If she said no, Tate would put a wall between them. Not to punish her, but to protect himself. He'd done a remarkable job of making her feel safe with him, but she hadn't tried to do the same for him. Remorse stung her.

What did she want, to risk her heart for something that probably wouldn't last or to open herself up and surrender to the men she loved for whatever time they shared?

Eric entered the room. Kellan hovered in the doorway. All eyes fastened on her. Expectation hung in the air.

These men really would put their lives on hold until she was safe. After that, they would return to their homes and their careers. They'd leave her. If by some miracle they didn't, their little quartet wouldn't work if Kellan wasn't even willing to try.

Of course, could she really expect complete security in the relationship? No one had that. She especially couldn't expect it if she wasn't ready to commit herself. And she didn't need a commitment to have sex.

Belle's thoughts raced. Did she want to go back to simply sharing a roof with them? Most likely, they only had a few days left together. Hell, even if they'd promised her a lifetime, that didn't always work out. Her father had vowed to love her mother forever and he'd died. When her mom had given birth, she'd committed to being a parent, but after her dad's death, she hadn't lived up to that obligation. Her mother's detachment had hurt and confused Belle. She'd shut everyone out after that. With the exception of Kinley, she still did. 

But now, these three men tempted her. Not just sexually. She could really be herself with them-a rarity for her. They set her at ease. Why shouldn't she experience what they shared to the fullest while they were here? Find pleasure and joy? Her skin heated at just the thought of feeling them deep inside her again. Her heart warmed at the thought of being close to them. Even if it didn't last, she'd have these days to hold close to her heart.