Their Virgin Secretary (Masters of Ménage #6)(131)

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Kellan shuffled along the sidewalk, wondering if he was doing the right thing. It might be best if he just walked away. Belle needed a man who had a whole heart to give her, and he wasn't sure he'd even been born with one.

Fucking coward. Eric's right. You like things easy. You like not having to open yourself up. You're so fucking scared, you're going to let the best thing that ever happened to you slip through your fingers.

He might not have been born with a whole heart, but his inner voice seemed to be totally intact and brutally honest.

Eric stopped at the small gate that separated the courtyard from the street. The moon had come out, washing the brick in a silvery glow. He never noticed the moon in Chicago. Somehow it seemed bigger in New Orleans. The air felt heavier, almost mysterious, but there was a sweetness to it. And the heat seemed to seep into his bones, drugging him until all he wanted was to toss off his clothes and be naked with Belle. If he stripped down, past his clothes, past his skin, if he offered her every piece of himself, would it be enough? Could Belle heal that essential piece of him that had been damaged for so long? He'd long thought that a part of him was missing, but now he wondered if maybe what he'd always been missing was Belle herself. What if that crap about soul mates was true and he wouldn't ever feel whole without her?

The thought of her holding a baby conceived from their love did weird things to him. His gut tightened and turned, then did a little dip that didn't feel at all like anxiety. It felt more like anticipation. Hope.

He would be a terrible dad. Wouldn't he? But was he really willing to leave a child alone with Tate, who would have that kid geekified and speaking nerd before he even had a chance. Tate would dress his kid in snarky T-shirts and sweatpants that may or may not be clean.

And Eric? Eric would try to teach the kid to get along with everyone. Eric's willingness to compromise was a necessity to making this relationship work, but who would help the kid learn to stand up for himself, to protect his mom and siblings? Who would teach him how to throw a decent punch?

Eric would teach him to toss a football, while Tate would instruct him on the finer points of wielding a lightsaber.

Maybe he wasn't so unnecessary after all.

"You're thinking about something serious, man. Want to talk about it before we go inside?" Eric asked.

Yep. Eric would teach the kid how to express his feelings. That was nice and all, but there were times to man up and just do something.

Except he wasn't sure he was ready.

"Nope." He hated the way Eric's eyes tightened in disappointment. "Just give me a little time, okay? I need a day or two. I don't process shit like this the way you do."

"Shit like emotions?" The dry tone of Eric's voice made him smile tightly.

"Yeah. Shit like emotions. Just give me a day or two."

Eric sighed. "Fine. Take some brooding time. Just know that I'm willing to talk to you whenever you want. I know it probably sounds dumb, but you really will feel better if you talk it out. If it makes you more comfortable, I'll find us a gym and we can spar while we talk."



       
         
       
        

Punching and talking. That might actually work for him. "Okay." It would do him good to get out a little aggression. "Only if I can work Tate over, too."

Eric chuckled. "Oh, I think Tate would love to beat the fuck out of you for a while."

It was what men did, what brothers did. It was what he'd never done. In the past, a fight meant an ending. It had never been simply a way to work through conflict. Any fight had been nasty, low down, and permanent.

His family could be different. He could be different, better.

"I think I might love her," he admitted quietly.

Eric's smile nearly lit up the night as he slapped him on the shoulder. "Of course you do. She's incredibly lovable, man. She's the best thing that's ever happened to any of us. She's the one. And the best part is that she wants all of us, too. We can have everything we've ever dreamed of. All we have to do is reach out and take it."

A buzzing sound emanated from Eric's phone. Frowning, he pulled it out of his belt clip and studied it.

"What is it? Belle calling?" Kellan asked, more than a bit hopeful.

He liked the idea that she wanted to know where he was or wanted to know what he was thinking, feeling. He wasn't used to having anyone give a shit when he came home. He would have to change if he stayed. He would have to check in and let his family know where he was all the time. It wasn't enough that Tate would likely hack into a satellite and direct it at all of them twenty-four seven. Kell needed to show them that he cared by checking in.