Their Virgin Secretary (Masters of Ménage #6)(115)

And then it didn't matter. Nothing did except for her as his balls drew up and his spine tingled. He thrust deep one last time, emptying himself with a shout. She followed him over with a whimper. Then he let himself sink against her, vowing to hold her as long as he could.



* * * *



Belle sighed and sank her fingers into Kellan's hair, reveling in the softness. It felt like dark silk. She breathed him in, his clean masculine scent mingling with the musk of their sex.

Her heartbeat pounded in her chest, the remnants of pleasure still running through her veins. She loved this time. She loved the sex, but she also craved the soft time afterward, when she was surrounded by her men.

Of course she only had one of her men this time, and if he had his way, she would only have him for a brief time.

Belle had decided that Kellan's way sucked.

Between reading the last entry in her grandmother's journal and looking back at her parents' miserable choices, she'd realized that nothing was certain-except that not fighting for love would lead to heartache. She'd been looking for proof that these three men would always want to be with her, that they would never leave. She'd demanded that the universe guarantee her happiness before she was willing to try grabbing it herself.

It was an arrogant thing to ask. No one got guarantees.

When she'd taken Tate's hand the night before, she'd finally realized something. Life was an adventure. It was mysterious and could be dangerous. And it was utterly meaningless without them by her side.

All of them.

Her grandmother had left her with far more than a haunted house. Instead, she'd left a legacy of words and pictures and the poignant sadness of her regret. Marie Wright had wanted to reach out to her son, but she'd been afraid for years. Then it had been far too late. Clearly, she'd thought she had more time, but the universe had other plans.

Life didn't care that she was afraid. Life moved on and it would leave her behind if she didn't make the choice to fight for her happiness.

Kellan didn't know it yet, but she wasn't letting him go without one hell of a fight.

With a long sigh, he rolled off her, taking his warmth with him. He sat up and dealt with the condom, tying it off and wrapping it in a tissue before throwing it into the small trash can by the nightstand. There was something wary about the way his back curved, as though he was trying to protect himself from something. From her.



       
         
       
        

"Are you going to walk away again?" Belle murmured. She could ask more delicately, she supposed. But he'd asked for her honesty. It was time he repaid the favor.

He turned back, his eyes hooded. "Why did you do this, Belle? Why send everyone away to be with just me?"

"I wanted to. I want to spend time alone with each of you. It doesn't have to be a crazy orgy every time we make love. Sometimes it can just be the two of us. Tate and Eric both get that. You're the only one who doesn't."

He sighed, but he lay back on the bed, working them both under the covers. "It's a bad idea. Eric might be fine for now, but Tate won't like it over time. It'll make him crazy. Unless you're planning on keeping this thing casual."

Kellan would probably love that, but she'd finally figured out that there was nothing casual about any of this. There was nothing casual about love, especially not the depth that she felt. They wanted her to treat sex with reverence. Well, for her, sex came with love, and her men were going to learn that.

"Tate is going to be fine once he realizes he's going to get what he wants. Mostly, I think he'll come to love New Orleans. We all have our flaws. One of his is a fear of changing his habits. He's a moody, broody man-child half the time, but I love him anyway. Eric can play the martyr to perfection. He won't tell anyone what he needs. I love him anyway, too. And you … "

"Don't say it."

She turned on her side, staring down at him. This was exactly the way to have this conversation, naked and with nothing between them. She needed to touch him, hold him. "Why not? You taught me to be honest. You taught me to take this seriously. I'm serious about this, Kellan. About us."

"I thought you were just playing around. I was under the assumption that you didn't believe a relationship with the three of us could work long term. I rather thought we were on the same page here."

"I'm still not sure it will, but how can I know if I don't try?"

Looking back, she saw that life hadn't taught her to try. She'd spent her childhood attempting to please a mother who had shut her out. She'd done everything she could to try to get Mom's attention after her father had died-for a while. Then she'd quit, resigning herself to loneliness and hurt. Was she willing to spend the rest of her life shutting out anyone who might want her because deep inside she was still that kid whose mother couldn't love her? She had to leave her childhood behind. Comfort the girl by embracing the woman she'd become.