He sighed, unable to stop himself from letting his head roll back until their cheeks brushed. He closed his eyes, damning himself. He was addicted to her. He could keep telling himself he'd walk away, but every time she offered him even the smallest taste of her, he took it greedily with both hands.
"I'm not alone," he said. "I have Sir. He sleep barks by the way. And I think he's sleep running. His paws keep twitching."
Belle laughed and let him go, moving around the desk to see Sir asleep on the couch. "Thanks for letting him stay in here."
He'd gotten used to the mutt. Another thing he would miss when he was back in Chicago. He was getting used to New Orleans, used to living with her … used to having this little slice of heaven. "No problem."
Belle scooped up her puppy, who looked at her with sleepy eyes before giving her a lick. "Did I ever tell you about what happened the day my dad died?"
He sat up straight, his whole being focused on her. She so rarely talked about her past that he knew she was about to tell him something important. "No. I know there was a car accident."
She nodded, stroking Sir as though finding comfort in the action. "Yes. I was just a kid. It was raining that night, but I wanted to go to my friend's slumber party. I didn't usually get invited to stuff like that. Kinley did, and she talked this girl into asking me, too. I think her name was Brianna, but I can't remember. How sad is that? I can't remember her name. I should remember everything about the night my dad died."
"You don't have to, baby. All you have to do is remember he loved you. What happened?" He had an inkling, but she needed to say it.
Her eyes took on a far-off look as though she wasn't really there with him, but lost in the past. "My mom thought the storm was too bad to drive in. She told me I couldn't go. She wouldn't drive me. My dad came home from work early and I cried and threw a temper tantrum and I got my way."
"Baby, it was not your fault. You were a child."
She sniffled a little. "He lost control on his way home. He died at roughly eight pm according to the police reports. I was playing with lip gloss and listening to music when he died and do you know how I found out? She came and got me the next morning. She didn't even tell me that night."
His heart ached for her. "Maybe she was trying to give you one last night."
"I wish. She claims she had a lot of things to do concerning the accident and dad's body. She said she thought it would be best to tell me after I got a good night's sleep." Belle shook her head. "That wasn't it. She shut me out, Tate. She pulled her grief around her and she wouldn't let me in. She blamed me."
He couldn't keep his distance when she looked so miserable. He stood and crossed the empty space between them. "Baby, it wasn't your fault."
She sniffled, tears welling in her eyes. "One day I was a kid with two parents who loved me. The next day my mother resented me, and I was alone." Her voice shook. "Tate, I'm so scared it could happen again."
He hugged her and sighed, an odd relief filling him. They were finally at the heart of the matter. "You think if Kellan leaves, we'll resent you."
She closed her eyes, letting her forehead rest against his. "You guys are so close. You all need one another."
Belle was also afraid she would lose the little family they'd formed. She was afraid she would be all alone again with no one to blame but herself. Tate wanted to rail at his own idiocy. He'd been so hurt by her rejection-seemingly like every other one he'd been dealt-that he hadn't thought to look for the real reasons behind Belle's refusal to let them close.
"Do you know what I'm going to feel if Kellan leaves us? I'm going to feel sorry for him, Belle. I'm going to pity him because here's the truth: we could have an amazing family and a beautiful life."
"But-"
"No, let me say this. Eric and I have been talking. If you'd let us, we would be together for as long fate allows. If anything happened to one of us, we'd cling to whoever is left because that's what family is supposed to do. Mine didn't. My parents' version of love and support was to punish me when I didn't perform perfectly. Eric was only valued athletically. We could be different. We wouldn't have to do anything the way they did. In fact, we wouldn't. If you agree, we'll figure this out. The one thing I do know is that I won't hate you if Kellan leaves. You didn't push him out the door. He's a grown man choosing to let his past hurt him. That's not your fault."