Dane knew a whole lot of his friends would have backed off then and there, sympathy equaling pity in their heads, but Dane took it for what it was, an offering from a deeply kind and loving woman. He hadn't known a hell of a lot of love and kindness in his life. He latched on to it now, taking her hand in his and holding on for dear life. The man his father had created wanted to pick up his shit and run to the other side of the island and let bitterness be his only friend, but Dane knew that would make him miserable. Instead, he was going to be the man Alea needed, the kind who embraced happiness. It was a gamble, and if he lost, well … at least he'd have the consolation of knowing he'd given it his all.
"The whole family thing. I think that's why I tried to be the one in control of all of it. If you all needed me, then you wouldn't get rid of me."
She leaned closer, her skin warm against his, and he felt all the ice in his chest starting to melt. He'd tried to put her in this very position, to need him, but fuck, he needed her.
"I would never get rid of you, Dane. Why would you think that?"
At her sweet words, he relaxed a little, shocked by just how nice it was to talk. "Besides the fact that you've been trying to fire me since I got hired?"
"I'm awfully glad I didn't succeed." She pressed against him, their hips touching, her arm through his, then she looked up at him for a long moment. "Tell me. It's about more than just your ex, isn't it?"
Her perceptive question stunned him, but the beauty of this place and the intimacy of sitting beside her settled him. He'd sat with lots of women, had plenty of lovers, but somehow Alea made him breathe easy. Something about sitting with limbs entwined, the sound of the surf rolling on, brought up a deep well of peace in him. And that made it so much easier for him to talk. He'd thought he would never discuss Kelly with Alea, but she needed to understand. And he was shocked at how good it felt to let go and tell her about his damage.
"It's not just her, baby. It's my whole life. My dad was a military man. He believed in running his household like a war camp. He was a Darwinist of the highest order."
"Survival of the fittest?"
"Yep. He thought getting the shit kicked out of me on a regular basis would make me a man. He didn't hit me himself, just didn't really stop it when my older brothers did. And yet I still tried to please him, tried to keep up with my brothers. I got married because she was beautiful and my dad liked her. Said she'd make a fine military wife. I didn't love her. I thought I did, but I didn't even know who the hell I was. How could I love her? And then the long deployments started, and my team was shipped to Afghanistan."
"They kicked you out because of what happened in the Korengal Valley, didn't they?"
He turned to her, a little startled. "How do you know about that? It's supposed to be classified."
There was not an ounce of shame on her face. "I snuck into Tal's office and read your files. He has a very good relationship with the US. They sent him over a lot of stuff on the three of you that no one should know. You did the right thing, Dane. That CIA agent was an asshole."
"He was covering his own ass. Things didn't go down the way they should have. We were working on faulty intel, but make no mistake, Lea. I knew what I was doing and I knew I would be out. I made the decision to get those civilians out of the line of fire thereby blowing an undercover op."
"You saved them," Alea said, her cheek against his arm. "I think it makes you a hero."
"And I blew a multi-million dollar op. When I flew home, I expected my wife to be waiting to drive me home from the airport. I knew it was going to be a rough conversation, but I didn't even get to say a word. She wasn't there. I got served with divorce papers the minute I stepped off the plane. They were right there in an envelope with a note from my father disowning me and a key to the storage place where they'd shoved all my worldly possessions."
Cooper had been standing next to him. He'd been ready to board a plane for Denver to get back home, but he'd stayed with Dane. And eventually they had found Landon, then made it to Bezakistan, to Alea.
To this island where he just might finally get the family he deserved if he wasn't an insecure prick.
"I want this so badly, but I'm afraid I can't be what you need." There it was, all out there for the world to see.
She moved, shifting away from him. He thought for a moment that she would leave, but she cupped his face as she moved, positioning herself between his legs. "Take it easy on me. Let's go slow and see where it's heading, Sir."
Sir? The word caused his cock to tighten. "No, Lea. It's okay. I'm going to shelve that shit."