"Yes, and that's the best reason I can think of to stay."
He leaned toward her, touching their foreheads together. If he'd been the least bit domineering, she could have pushed him away, but this was a sweet intimacy. How long had it been since she'd touched someone? Felt the heat of another body close to her own quite like this? Never.
"Baby, do you know how many nights I've sat up imagining how beautiful you are? Do you know how off I was? You're a hundred times more gorgeous than I ever dreamed. Tell me you don't want me, too. Tell me, and I'll walk out of this room. I won't try to touch you again, but you should know that I'll never stop wanting you. You're the only woman I've been able to think of since I met you."
He brought one hand to her shoulder, his fingers just barely touching her, making her shiver in the most delicious way possible.
She shook her head, trying to come out from under the spell. "You've dated since you've been here. Don't try to fool me."
His head snapped up, and she found herself staring into the warmest chocolate brown eyes she'd ever seen. His handsome face settled into a frown that did nothing to detract from his male-model gorgeousness. "Not once."
She bit her bottom lip. She wanted to believe him. God, she was standing here naked with him and she couldn't seem to make herself move. "That's impossible."
"That's the truth." His fingers made their way down her arm. "I'm worried about touching you. I don't want to scare you, baby. You have to know I would never, ever want to hurt you."
He sounded so different from the laughing, sarcastic man she'd come to know. This was the Cooper she'd always suspected hid under his playful exterior. He was so sweet, but it was hard to believe he wasn't sexually active. He was the only one of the three of Tal's guards who regularly took weeks off and left the country. "I thought you had a girl back home. I thought that was why you left every six weeks."
He was staring into her eyes, holding her hostage. "I go to a little hospital in Pakistan. I have an old buddy who runs a clinic there. Baby, I'm not seeing someone. I'm vaccinating babies and running the clinic so he has a little time off. I told you. I haven't wanted anyone since the minute I laid eyes on you." He swallowed hard. "Are you ever going to look at me the way I look at you?"
Alea wanted to. She studied him all the time when she was sure he wasn't looking. Tears sprang to her eyes. "I don't know. I don't know that I can do any of this, Cooper. I … I don't think I function the way other women do. I don't respond to sex."
Except she was kind of responding now. Her breathing was ragged. She wasn't panicked the way she'd been after her rescue. When she'd first come back, she'd pulled away from anyone who tried to touch her. Lately, she'd been wondering if she was missing out. Piper was a hugger. At first it had seemed rude to shove her cousins' wife away, so she'd endured it, but more and more she found herself initiating the hugs. And she definitely thought about being able to touch her men. In her dreams, she opened to them fully, and they took her in every way. She felt such pleasure, such love … What a far-fetched fantasy.
And just the fact that she thought of them as her men was proof enough that she'd gone half mad. She should shove Cooper away right this second before he found out how cold she was.
"Baby, your nipples are hard."
He backed up just enough to brush his knuckles over them. Rough, work-callused skin touched her own, lighting a fire deep in her belly. She shivered and gasped, then tried to shrink away. He wrapped an arm loosely around her waist and kept her close.
"You respond just fine." His voice sounded rough. "Let me kiss you."
Alea shook her head. "I-I can't stand too much touch. I can't close my eyes without … "
"Shh, baby. You can't stand being tied down or having someone on top of you. We can work on that. It'll take time and patience, but I've got both."
"It's more than that." But he wouldn't understand, and frustration welled. She needed to grab her robe and run away. She looked around for an escape, but the only way out was through Coop. "I don't know how I would handle hands really … touching me."
"Let me do all the worrying. We'll work it out."
That sounded nice. No, it sounded like a huge relief, letting someone else bear the strain and horror of all she'd endured. God, she was so deeply lonely, but she feared the risk. What if Coop touched her and she panicked? How could she ever look at him or the other two again if she freaked out and made an idiot of herself? They'd know she was frigid. Hell, she'd confessed it. But they didn't know she woke up screaming and fighting some invisible attacker far too often.