Their Virgin Concubine(83)

A vicious pain had taken root in his gut. Dane was right about one thing. He couldn’t possibly understand. “They won the minute they forced me to watch someone I cared about die. Do you fucking know what they did to me? Do you know what they made me do?”

Dane’s face softened slightly. “I can imagine. They likely made you beg.”

Beg. Plead. Abase himself. He’d done it all. He’d broken trying to spare Lily pain, and they had simply laughed and slit her throat anyway.

“Talib, you can’t blame yourself for that, man. Everyone breaks.”

Shame flushed through him. What would his brothers have thought of him if they knew he’d begged?

“Did you beg for your own life?” Dane asked. “I bet you didn’t. Most men would. You begged for hers. You pleaded.”

He’d been thrown to the ground and kicked and then forced to kiss the boot of the man who had done it. He’d wanted to fight, but Lily was his submissive. She had been in his care. He’d had to do anything he could to save her. Anything but betray his country. “I did everything they asked to try to spare her. They treated me like an animal. They beat me, starved me. They used a defibrillator to stop and start my heart once. I was dead, but they brought me back. I know what death is like. I was so angry when I realized I was alive again. I wanted that death.”

“I can understand that. What didn’t you do?” Dane asked. “Did they kill her for fun or would you not comply with some request?”

His hands were shaking. Fuck. He didn’t want to talk about this. He wanted to forget it, but something forced him to speak. Years he’d spent with this brutal truth inside him. “They wanted me to make a video tape.”

He’d barely been able to see the words they had wanted him to say. His eyes had been almost swollen shut from the beating he’d taken. Vile words meant to throw his country back into the dark ages. He’d been asked to renounce democracy. He’d been told to spit on hundreds of years of his family’s achievements.

Dane’s calm voice echoed through the room. “I remember the time, sir. Had you made that tape, had the people seen it, there might have been real trouble. Something like that could have destabilized the country. The parliament wasn’t in control. You were. There could have been riots, and the countries around you would have pounced. You did what you had to.”

“Yes.” Bitterness rose. “I had to choose my country over a woman who trusted me.”

“You do not have easy choices, my brother.”

Pure fear went through Tal as he realized Rafiq stood in the doorway. His brother had heard everything. His brother knew his shame. “Go away, Rafe. Go look after Piper.”

“I came here to beat the crap out of you,” Rafe admitted, his face flushed with emotion. “I planned to fight because you cannot treat our bride that way. She is not a piece of property, but that isn’t why you rejected her, is it? I think she might be smarter than any of us. She told me you were afraid.”

Everyone was backing him into a corner today. “I am not afraid. I simply don’t want to be forced to deal with Piper’s naïveté. This marriage is about protecting a kingdom, not falling in love.”

Rafe walked in. His shoulders had relaxed, his fists unclenched. “It’s about both. Tal, you did what you had to do in the worst of circumstances. But you survived. Our country survived. I am so sorry Lily did not, but you cannot spend the rest of your life punishing yourself. You did everything you could possibly do to save her. You made the right choice. One life for thousands. You had no other option.”

And there was the heart of his problem. There was the precise reason he couldn’t ever let himself love Piper. “And if I couldn’t make that decision again? If I couldn’t choose my country?”

Rafe’s eyes flared, understanding dawning. “You’re worried if it happens again you would give everything up for Piper?”

He knew it deep in his gut. He could lie to her, but there was the truth. He was already over the edge. “I need to let her go. I can’t make the choices I would need to. I can’t protect my country and love my wife.”

Rafe sighed. “That is untrue.”

“Sir, your brother is right. You can’t sacrifice everything. You have to take a risk at some point,” Dane said.

But he didn’t. He never had to risk another thing. Tal stood stiffly, his decision clear. “Rafe, you and Kade will abdicate your positions. You can take Piper and marry her. I’ll make sure you have more money than you could ever need. I’ll marry within the month. The throne will be secure, and if I never speak to her again, perhaps no one will think to hurt her in order to get to me.”