woman, without protecting her. He’d fucked up again.
His stomach turned. His vision blurred.
Way to go, ruining another woman’s life. And your brothers will really love you for killing this one.
Self-loathing boiled in Gavin’s blood as he withdrew roughly. Muttering an ugly curse, he turned away. The jarring notes of the piano, followed by soft footfall, told Gavin that Hannah hopped off the piano.
“Gavin?” She touched his shoulder tentatively, softly. With concern.
He didn’t fucking deserve it.
Everyone knows how great you are to your lovers. You use them and forget them. You do nothing as they lay dying. What a great guy.
“What’s wrong?” Hannah angled herself in front of him, her eyes searching.
He just glared. What the hell could he say?
She backed away, reached to the ground for her blouse, and started to cover her breasts. She knew something had gone terribly awry.
Gavin wanted to hold her. The words were perched on the tip of his tongue. I love you. I’ll take care of you always. He could say them. He would even mean them.
His cell phone chirped, reminding him that his time had run out. There would be no white picket fence for him.
But what if Hannah could forgive his past mistakes? What if his brothers understood? But what would any of it matter if he couldn’t forgive himself? He didn’t have any right to drag her into the scandal that was about to hit. If the stalker held true to his threat, the papers would soon get the full story on how he’d covered up the facts surrounding Nikki’s death, and they would hound him and anyone near.
He had to push her as far away from him as possible, even if he had to make her hate him.
“Everything’s fine, Hannah. But I’m done. You can go now.”
Gavin retrieved his pajama bottoms and slid them on, eyeing the last of the vodka, before he forced himself to walk away. He couldn’t look at the confusion on her face for another second.
She’d been sweet and giving, and if he was a better human being, she might have been able to make him whole.
“Talk to me. Please, tell me what’s wrong.”
Gavin resisted the urge to go to her. He couldn’t touch her again or he would weaken. He had to be strong for both their sakes. “There’s nothing wrong, Hannah. I told you yesterday, I would love to fuck you. I did. It was okay. Now I’m done. You’re an attractive girl, but I don’t want a second round. I’m used to more experienced lovers.”
“More experienced?” The words fell from her mouth with a dull thud. Her eyes lost their light.
His heart fell, but he managed a casual shrug. “One night with my brothers didn’t teach you much, honey.”
It was a lie. He was so used to lying, it came easy. The truth was, he would dream about having her every night for the rest of his miserable life. If he could ever work up the will to fuck another woman, it would be Hannah’s face he saw. He would never forget the way she clung to him, the way they fit together.
But he would also never be able to get this broken-hearted Hannah out of his head. This Hannah wasn’t smiling. This Hannah groped around for her skirt in an attempt to hide from him.
She dressed in utter silence, with her back to him. He wished she would just walk away. He wouldn’t be able to handle the quiet dignity she would surely toss his way any moment. Still, he forced himself to stand there and wait as the guilt poured in.
Hannah turned after smoothing down her skirt, but it wasn’t quiet dignity on her face. No, pure feminine fury reigned.
“You’re a jerk, Mr. James. I never would have expected this from you.” He had to keep being a jerk. “What, Hannah, are you going to play the scorned woman now?
I never lied to you.”
“You’ve never told me the truth either. Why did you hire me?” Because he wanted her close. He wanted to bask in her light. “It was a favor to my brothers.” Her eyes narrowed, sharp intelligence clear in their depths. “I don’t think so. Dex and Slade could have just as easily pursued me without bringing me into your office. And why did you keep me as your executive admin if I was just ‘okay’?”
Why was everyone questioning him? Why wouldn’t they just leave him the fuck alone?
Because he deserved whatever shit rained down on him. God, he’d taken her without a condom. If she was pregnant, it would kill him. No, if she was pregnant, Dex and Slade would kill him.
“I told you before that I didn’t have a problem sleeping with you. You have a certain charm, both in the office and flat on your back. But I won’t give up my social standing to marry a girl so utterly lacking grace and upbringing.”