Dex shared a long look with Slade. Despite the differences he and Gavin had, Dex didn’t want to lose his brother. And he feared he was. But Gavin belonged with them—and with Hannah.
Dex had only briefly known the Gavin who existed before Nikki’s death. He’d been serious about work, but had made the time for his brothers in those days. Gavin had been the one to pay for Dex’s college and offer him a place in the family. They might argue from time to time, but Gavin was his brother. Dex had always assumed they’d work through their issues someday and truly be a family.
“We should probably talk about that, darlin’.” Dex clasped her hand.
Slade brushed her hair from her cheek and took over. “Gavin is in love with you, too, Hannah. I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to hear that you have feelings for him. We want him to share this happiness with us. His past hasn’t always been an easy one. We’ll have to move slow with Gavin, but I think he’ll be worth it.”
If Hannah had been in love with any other man, Dex would rip the bastard’s heart out in an instant. But if Hannah could save Gavin from whatever dark path he stalked down alone, Dex would lock them in a room together and not let them out until Gavin stopped lying to himself about his feelings.
“Three men.” Hannah shook her head. “I guess that when I go wild, I really go wild.” Slade twisted on the bed and was on top of Hannah in an instant. “Another reason we love you. I think it’s time you went wild again, love.”
He reached for a condom and spread her legs. Dex watched, his own cock hardening again as Slade captured her mouth, eased inside her pussy, then possessed her so completely that she screamed, sobbed, and finally sighed contentedly in his arms.
* * * *
The wall behind him thudded in a mocking, insistent rhythm, and Gavin wondered if his brothers were trying to set a world record for how many times they could fuck the same girl in one night. He’d given up trying to sleep hours before and now sat in the darkness, staring sightlessly out the window, listening to their erotic slaps and moans. There was no doubt his brothers were having the night they had longed to share with her for a year.
He might have grinned, but they had Hannah, and they weren’t just fucking her. They were making love to her, bonding with the woman they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with.
Despair crashed through him. Once again, Gavin felt just how completely he was on the outside.
Swallowing a curse, he strode across the room, unable to listen to their passion anymore.
Though their voices were muted, he knew what they were saying. His brothers were telling Hannah that they loved her. And Hannah loved them back, giving herself to them, proving her devotion. She had waited for love, and what she’d given his brothers tonight was a precious gift.
Goddamn it, he’d wanted to be a part of that.
Gavin slammed the door behind him. They were mere feet away. The door stood right there.
Five steps and the turn of a knob, and he could be with them. Would she turn him away? Would Dex punch him in the face? Gavin actually doubted both. For all he and Dex misunderstood each other, they shared the same desire to love Hannah thoroughly.
And Gavin couldn’t forget the way she’d looked at him with desire in those pretty green eyes while he’d watched her come. She’d welcome him, he was almost certain.
That knowledge was killing him.
Gavin stayed on the other side of the door. From here, he could love his family at a distance, take care of them without worrying that he’d get too close, drag them into his shit, and destroy their lives. It was for the best.
But he would be forced to watch as Hannah married Slade and Dex. He could picture her, so lovely in her wedding dress, her eyes glowing with happiness. Eventually, the babies would come. Hannah would make a wonderful, nurturing mother. Not being a part of that felt like someone stabbing him in the heart and dragging the blade through his chest. He yearned so badly to give her at least a sliver of that happiness, to see her wear his ring or bring his child into the world.
But she couldn’t know that. Ever.
Gavin walked into the great room. The bay windows stood open, revealing the beauty of the Alaskan starlit darkness. It was truly nighttime here in a way that was impossible in Dallas. The twinkling stars wove together to create a blanket of diamonds overhead. The sight would fill Hannah’s eyes with wonder. It would move her.
He’d never brought a woman here. Never wanted to. Hannah was the first woman he’d ever thought about sharing much of anything with. Then again, she was the first woman he’d ever really loved.
For hours, he’d sat in his darkened bedroom, listening to her moans and cries of pleasure, hoping that he could find the jealousy that would rip her from his heart. All he’d managed was to adore her more for opening herself so completely to the men she loved. Envy pierced Gavin. He should probably be appalled at the thought of sharing a woman with his brothers, but somehow it made sense. If they were all truly together, they would rely on each other, take their family unit to the next level. When Hannah frustrated him, his brothers would figure her out. She would always be taken care of, no matter what. Someone would always answer her calls, hold her when she cried. She wouldn’t be left alone like Nikki had been.