It never felt wrong to love Sarah. If anything, it felt right. The guilt I feel is because I love her and I know Luke feels the same way. We’ve shared women for years, and it’s always felt natural, like this is how we’re meant to be. We’ve talked about having a permanent menage relationship and dreamed that one day we would find the one and make a home with the three of us. Deep down, though, I think we both always hoped it would be with Sarah.
Our sweet little Sarah would be shocked to know what we do behind bedroom doors, and I can’t wrap my head around her wanting us in that way. I know that if she ever did feel the same about us, she would want to choose, and that would end Luke and me. We couldn’t, wouldn’t survive it. I would feel his heartbreak every time I was with her. As much as we love her, it couldn’t be for just one night. There’s love and family involved. If this went wrong it could break us, and the three of us is all that’s left. We can’t risk it.
I decide to sulk at the bar and down a few more beers. The only thing waiting on me at home is a brooding Luke and the image of Sarah in her room, masturbating. I stifle my groan and start thinking of football to keep my mind off my growing dick.
I don’t know how long I sit there, zoned out, before Sam slides next to me at the bar. He nudges my shoulder with his in greeting and orders a beer. He takes a drink and then gives me a thoughtful look.
“I dropped your sister off at home,” he says and takes another drink. I hear him take a deep breath. “Luke pulled up when I was leaving. He was just sitting in his car staring at the house.”
He raises an eyebrow at me, but I don’t know what he wants me to say. We’ve both known Sam for a long time. He would be good for Sarah. He’s the type of guy I would wish for her, if I wasn’t in love with her myself. I know why Luke hit him. If I had seen him kiss her I’d want to lay his ass out too.
Sam shakes his head and lets out a short laugh. “One day, Logan, the three of you really need to sit down and figure this shit out.” He stands with his beer and starts to leave. I realize at this point I haven’t said a damn word to him and I turn to speak, but he beats me to it. “And just a little advice, that day should be sooner than fucking later.” He rubs his jaw and walks away.
I sit there opening and closing my mouth. I should have played that off better and denied whatever he thinks he knows, but I didn’t have it in me. I think I’ve just gotten tired of how things have been lately and I’m tired of pretending. I’m so tired of acting like I don’t want Sarah and that I don’t want to share her with Luke. I want everything. Is that such a fucking ridiculous request?
I pay my tab and head outside. I need to clear my head and it’s not happening in that bar.
I decide that Sam has some truth to his statement. I do need to talk to Luke, but right now I want to talk to Sarah more and make sure she’s okay. She left the bar pissed and I can’t stand it when she’s mad.
CHAPTER 3 *Luke*
I sit in my car long after Sarah has entered the house and Sam has pulled away. I felt my knuckles crack on to the steering wheel when I watched to see if she kissed him goodnight. Thankfully Sam didn’t have a death wish and kept his hands and mouth to himself.
I can’t bring myself to go in the house and have the confrontation I can feel building. I hate how things are distant between Logan and me, but I don’t know how to change it. He’s in love with Sarah and, fuck me, so am I. We need to just leave her alone because this whole situation is all kinds of screwed up. Not only am I in love with my goddamn stepsister, but so is my twin. Could this possibly be any more fucked up? Jesus, sign us up for Jerry Springer.
I rub my hands down my face and sigh heavily. I can feel Logan’s pain. Even when we aren’t side by side I know when he’s hurting. He’s the heart of our family. He’s our light and laughter when I’m just a brooding asshole. Things have been so strained lately; our home isn’t a happy place I look forward to returning to at the end of the day. Instead I avoid it. I avoid Sarah and Logan and everything that makes my chest hurt.
“Fuck this,” I say to no one and open my car door. I make my way inside the house. I just need to go in, go to my room and fall into bed. I want this miserable day to be over. I tell myself all of that, but it’s a lie. I know the reason. I know good and damn well why I’m going in the house and why I’m going to my room. I can’t stop punishing myself. I can’t stop the part of me that wants see if I can hear her in her room. The dark sadistic side of me wants to know if she’s making good on her promise to cum tonight.