“Oh, I don’t think you’d like it if I write about you.”
“Why not? Just change the name. No one will find out it was me. I’m glad to be of service to you, too.”
We both laughed and then grew silent, holding each other’s gaze. He was still holding my hand, gently caressing the back with his thumb. I knew my service was completed and that he’d gotten satisfaction. So did I. I never expected to enjoy the thrills of being his sub so much. It surprised me and I didn’t know what to do right now. My mind was raging with thoughts about how I wanted to stay, to experience more with him, to be with him. This was such a revelation to me, that a partner could be both loving and painfully arousing, I didn’t want to say goodbye to it. Yet, I knew it was coming.
He held out the envelope to me. “I have this for you, as promised. You did what I asked and I will do as much in return.”
He nudged the envelope between my fingers. I pried it open and looked inside. There was a check inside and I didn’t have to look very hard to see the amount of fifteen thousand dollars on it.
My stomach churned. I don’t want this.
I didn’t want to be paid. It felt wrong. I was just as much pleased by the sex we had as he was. Why would he have to give me anything? I wanted to come here myself. Sure, the money was the reason I initially thought of coming here, but it had become so much more than that. I wasn’t in it for the money anymore.
I sighed and put it back into the envelope. “I can’t take this,” I said.
“Why not? It’s yours. You’ve fulfilled our agreement and so will I.”
I leaned forward and put the envelope back in his hand. “Please … I want more. Not money, but more … you. I don’t want this to end. I don’t want to be paid, I want this to be more than just service.”
For the first time I saw him flush. His mouth dropped open and he frowned, almost as if he was baffled. “What? You do understand that this is regular practice for me right? That I’m not some regular vanilla guy?”
“Yes, I know, but I want this. I know I’m new and probably not even close to what you want.”
“Oh, trust me, you are,” he said, interrupting me.
I smiled and placed my hand on his face. “Then please, let me stay. I want to become yours. I don’t want to go back to my hotel room, drink my way through the day while writing petty novels. You’ve brought something out of me that I never imagined I’d discover and I’m curious for more. I want more … of you.”
“Are you sure?” he said, raising his eyebrows. He seemed really concerned with me, as if he couldn’t believe what I was saying.
“Yes!” I said and I took his face between my hands and pressed my lips onto his. He kissed me back with a passionate flame I hoped would never extinguish.