"Like you really care," I mumbled.
"If you want to have this out now, I'm more than willing to do so," he rumbled. "You're the one who said we needed to wait until my little man was done eating. If that's the way you want to play it, then you can't lob accusations like that my way. Because I'm more than fucking ready to hear your explanation for how I'm just now finding out you had my baby."
"Accusations?" I hissed, resting my hand over Carter's head to cover his ear in a futile attempt to protect him from an argument that wasn't going to wait because I couldn't seem to stop myself from responding. "You're the one who tried to insinuate I was never going to tell you something I'd tried telling you many, many times. I'm not the one who disappeared for a year and didn't answer any of your messages. If either of us has the right to be pissed off here, it's me, because I'm the one who was left pregnant and alone. You abandoned us, bucko. Not the other way around."
"You've got to be fucking shitting me," he groaned, his head dropping low while he took several deep breaths. When he looked up again, his eyes were filled with a strange mixture of rage and regret. "You emailed me?"
"Of course I did!" I snapped. "You said it was the only way I could reach you while you were gone, and I stupidly believed you. I sent my first message a week after you left because I missed you. I wasn't sure when you'd get it or be able to respond, but then I realized a couple weeks later that I'd missed my period. I sent the second one then. The third one had the news of my positive pregnancy test. I emailed the fuck out of you until I realized it wasn't going to make you magically reappear in my life."
"How many?" The words sounded like they were dragged from the depths of his soul.
"How many what?" I whispered back, starting to get the feeling there was something seriously wrong here. He wasn't acting like a man who'd known about his baby. I'd been too angry before to stop and consider the why behind his accusation. But was it really possible he hadn't known? That he'd never received any of my messages?
"How many fucking times did you email me?"
"You're going to have to learn how to watch your language if you plan on spending time with Carter," I chided. It didn't do me much good because he just sat there, glaring at me from the floor. I wasn't sure how honest I should be with him. The answer was kind of embarrassing when I stopped to think about it. I didn't really want to admit to a number out loud. "Too many."
He uncoiled from his position on the floor and stalked towards me, only to crouch down in front of me, his eyes drilling into mine. "How many times, Aspen?"
Carter came to my rescue and let out a little wail. He was hungry and didn't mind my distraction until it interfered with his ability to eat. I switched him to the other side, and he latched back on and settled down immediately.
"Tell me, Aspen," he rasped out. "I need to know."
I closed my eyes in an effort to block out the tortured look in his. It didn't help, and the answer spilled from my lips anyway. "Forty."
"Forty fucking emails." His forehead pressed gently against mine, and I squeezed my eyes even more tightly shut. "When did you send the last one?"
"After the plus sign turned up on my pregnancy test, I kept sending them. Once a week. Right up until the day after Carter was born. I figured if you didn't respond to a picture of him, then there wasn't anything else for me to say."
"My beautiful girl held on to her faith for nine goddamn months, all alone during her pregnancy without me to care for her," he whispered against my lips. "And spent three more raising my son while thinking I didn't give a damn. It fucking guts me to know I let you down, Aspen."
My eyes popped open at his admission, and I was shocked to find tears tracking down his cheeks. "You didn't get them?" I breathed out, hope building in my chest.
"Of course I didn't fucking get them, Aspen," he snapped. "I never would have left you hanging like that. I don't know what you said in the first one, but I would've replied to let you know I missed you too. I would've told you in the second to wait to take a test because I wanted to be there when you did, and I would have moved heaven and earth to make it fucking happen. And your third email would've made me want to shout from the rooftops knowing you were carrying my child."
My heart felt like it was racing out of my chest. I didn't know what to think or feel. The whole damn time I'd been hating him for leaving me and abandoning our child, he'd had no idea. It didn't seem possible, but there was no mistaking his reaction, or the sincerity of his words.
"I don't know what the rest of them said, but I would have treasured each and every one. No, make that will treasure them, because I'm going to read them all and give you the replies you damn well should have received from the start. I'm also going to find out who the fuck was responsible for this, and they're going to pay for hurting you and keeping my family from me all this time," he vowed.
I'd thought my heart was steeled against him forever, but it melted then and there.
Chapter 3
Weston
I felt like I was being tossed about in an ocean of emotions. I was in a fucking rage over whoever had kept those emails from me. I was awed at the sight of the perfect little person we'd created. But mostly, I realized I was even more in love with Aspen than the day we'd parted. It consumed me, made me want to wrap the two of them up and take them away. Somewhere safe, where it would be just the three of us.
Not one to keep my thoughts to myself, the desire to tell her was pressing on me, to open myself up to her completely. But, something told me it wasn't the right time. Despite the truth of the misunderstanding, I could see the spark of wariness in her beautiful chocolate eyes. I wanted to demand that she trust me, but I was going to have to earn it back.
Carter made some cute little noises and Aspen fumbled under the blanket for a second, until I heard a snap and was a little disappointed to know she was all covered up again. I'd wanted to rip the blanket away so I could see my little man cuddled up to his mommy, Aspen's gorgeous breasts giving our son nourishment. It spurred a primitive instinct inside me, pride that I'd bred my woman. A need to claim her and Carter, so everyone knew they were mine.
The blanket slipped down and Aspen cooed at the baby as she lifted him to her shoulder.
"May I?" I asked tentatively. I sensed I needed to rein in the overbearing, demanding asshole I could be.
She looked at me with surprise and hesitated. I tamped down my irritation, reminding myself of our precarious situation. It would take time for her to get over the feeling she'd spent a year cultivating. After a moment, she gave me a tiny smile and handed me a cloth. I put it over my shoulder and reached out to take Carter, standing, then propping him over the blanket. I rubbed a few gentle circles on his back until he ceased squirming, then patted his back.
A feeling of peace and contentment washed over me as I held him. Glancing down at Aspen, I saw her leaning back in the chair, fiddling with the hem of her shirt as she watched us closely with warm eyes and a soft smile on her lips.
"He's amazing," I said quietly, starting to pace. She nodded, practically glowing as her gaze locked on to Carter. He let out a few little burps, so I lifted him from my shoulder and cradled him in my arms to study him. He grinned at me and started jabbering away, telling me a story only he could understand.
"You look good with a baby in your arms, Weston," Aspen murmured. My eyes shot to her face and the warmth I'd seen before had become a simmering heat. My body responded like it hadn't seen her in a year and was desperate to have her. You're holding your son, man. Get it together.
I was a little torn, one side of me wanting to keep Carter in my arms, studying his every feature, and getting to know him. The other, wondering when it was nap time so I could take my turn with Aspen's incredible tits and bury myself so deep inside her she'd remember, without a doubt, that we were made for each other.
She pushed herself out of the rocking chair and stood up. Her arms twitched, as though she wanted to reach for the baby, and my eyes pleaded with her. I needed to hold him awhile longer, to assure myself he was real, that all of this was real. She came up to us and grabbed his tiny, chubby hand, placing a kiss on his cheek. Before I could reel it in, my mind wandered to all the places on my body I wanted to feel those lips and I shifted, becoming even more uncomfortable.
"Come to the kitchen," she said as she walked towards the door. "I'll make us some lunch and we'll talk."
I waited until she was out the door before staring down at Carter once again. "I'm so sorry I wasn't here for you, buddy. But, I promise I'm not going to leave you again. I'm going to be the best dad you've ever had," I said cheekily. "We are going to be a family"-I lowered my voice to a mock whisper-"and you will both have the last name Davis." He gurgled a reply, obviously agreeing with my plan. "I'm glad you're on board. Now we just need to convince your mommy."
"Are you coming?" My head whipped up at the sound of Aspen's voice. She looked at me expectantly, and I silently sighed in relief when I didn't see any hint that she'd heard my conversation with Carter.