"So you couldn't forget all about that and take care of your daughter when she got hurt?"
"I cry, but I do so in private. If I show others I'm vulnerable, I set myself up to be rejected. In reality, I did to Chloe what my parents did to me, and there's no excuse for that. The problem is, I want to be with my daughter more than you could imagine. I just don't know how to fix it. She'd never forgive me, and I can't expect her to. What would I say? Everything that came out of my mouth would seem pathetic."
"So you don't even try? Chloe was devastated, the word she used, when she saw you lying on the news. You haven't talked to her, yet you want the rest of the world to think you're this good mother. Then her bridal shower you were invited to … why didn't you bother coming to your own daughter's shower when you were just a few minutes away?"
"Because I've already ruined everything, Matthew. There's no hope for me at this point."
"Maybe she'd listen if you showed this side of yourself to her, instead of that nasty woman I met at the hospital."
"I act that way so no one will get close to me. That way I don't have to go through people not wanting me."
"Earl, are you going to just sit there? That's what you've done all of your daughter's life, isn't it?"
"No, Matthew. I did something worse. I traveled nonstop. I was more preoccupied with making a lot of money for my wife, Chloe, and her children, than I was with actually taking care of her. Lois seemed great with our daughter, and my wife wasn't being honest with me. But that's neither here nor there. I'm guilty of being an absent father. I want to have a relationship with my daughter like you wouldn't believe. But I don't know how to make all this better. I don't know if it's possible to make up for twenty-four years."
"So I'm a roofer, my clothes are always dirty, my boots are worn, I don't have any money, and I'll never be able to afford this kind of lifestyle for your daughter. But I love her more than life itself, and when she got in that accident I changed. I learned the hard way, that it's the simple things in life that matter, not the money you have, your prestige, or fame. I would die for that woman, and I've had to sit back and watch the both of you destroy her from the inside out. You did all that to her, put everything above her, abandoned her, and you put me down because of my status?"
"Matthew, I know how to give money, entertain, relate to the press, and surround myself with the finer things, and that's about it. I have no idea how to get close to my child."
"Here I stand trying to convince two grown adults to love their child, as if I'm supposed to tell you all the great qualities about her so you'll pick her. Shame on the both of you."
Matthew turned around and walked out, feeling nothing but anger and pity.
∞ ∞ ∞ ∞
Chloe continued to sink more, and more, the closer it got to the wedding. Matthew tried everything he could think of and had a feeling that, when it came time for the wedding, he'd be unable to get her to the altar.
"Baby, aren't you going to pick out your dress?"
"Yeah, I'll get one. I think the vows to each other are what really matters, not my clothes."
"True, but I think you should call Becky and ask her to help you try on wedding gowns. She would love that."
"It's fine, Matthew, I'll find a gown."
"I have to call one of the guys on my crew. It might get kind of loud so I'll take it in the bedroom. Be right back." Matthew looked at her face as she stared blankly out the window.
He closed the door and dialed the number he had kept on a piece of paper in his wallet.
"Could I speak with Sylvia please, this is Matthew Sharp." He hoped she'd come to the phone and not ignore him.
"Hello, Matthew." She sounded like she'd either been crying or had a cold.
"Sylvia, your daughter needs to pick out a wedding gown. We're getting married in less than two weeks and she's so depressed, I feel like I'm losing her. She needs her mother to be there with her."
"Chloe wouldn't want to see me after the way I've mistreated her all her life. The best thing I can do is stay out of the way and let her be happy."
"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Get in your car and come to this address. Knock on the door and make it right with your daughter, and I don't care what you have to do or go through to accomplish that. I'm more than willing to bring you here myself, but trust me, that'll be the most unpleasant thing you'll ever go through." He hung up the phone while trying hard not to smash it. His temper cooled when he heard a soft knock on the bedroom door.
"Matthew, are you done with your call? I'm kind of tired and was thinking about taking a nap."
"Chloe, you're not tired, you're depressed, and you have been for a long time. I'm not letting you go to bed. It's one o'clock in the afternoon, so get your shoes on. We're going to go for a nice walk."
"I really don't feel like going outside."
Matthew pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head. "I love you, Chloe, with all my heart. But, you're going to get your shoes on and we're going outside. I can help you tie them if you want." Matthew held her for a long time just rubbing her back and gently kissing her neck and face. "Did you eat the sandwich I made for you?"
"No I'm not very hungry."
"Eat half of it so you keep your strength up." He took it out of the refrigerator and handed it to her. She took small bites, and he could tell she had no interest in swallowing it. It took her thirty minutes just to eat that one half.
When Chloe finished eating, she slowly walked to the closet and put on a pair of jeans, a sweatshirt, and her sneakers. The sky was overcast, which perfectly matched how she felt inside. She walked in the bathroom and began brushing her long blonde hair when she heard a knock on the door.
"Matthew, can you get the door please?"
There was another knock, so he went to the door and looked through the peep hole. He hid as fast as he could in the closet.
"Matthew, get the door for me." The knocking continued. Chloe sighed heavily and then went to answer it. She cracked the door enough to see who was in the hall. She just stood there staring at her mother's tear-streaked face. Sylvia wasn't wearing makeup, and her hair was pinned back. She had on a white shirt and a pair of jeans. Chloe couldn't ever remember seeing a picture of her mother dressing so casual. This was the last person she expected to see, and she didn't know what to say or do.
"Hi, Chloe, may I come in?"
Chloe began nervously fixing her hair and straightening her clothes. "I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting anyone. I don't look very good, and my apartment is kind of small. Matthew's here and you haven't had time to get to know him, but he's really nice. I have coffee. I can make you some coffee if you want. Do you like coffee?"
Matthew stood in the closet heartbroken while he listened to Chloe talk rapidly in a quivering voice.
"I'm not sure we have time for coffee."
"I know you're busy and won't be able to stay, but I can get you a bottle of water or something."
"No, Chloe, I said we, as in me and you. I'm not sure what time the bridal boutiques close, and I'd really love it if we could hang out and look at some dresses."
"You want to go with me?"
"If you don't mind, I think we'd have lots of fun, and besides, I have twenty-four years to catch up on. I'm sorry I was such a horrible mother, and for all the pain I've caused you. I can't erase my years of neglect, but I would love to have the opportunity to give you the time and love that you deserve from this moment forward. I want to get to know you. Your letter was a rude awakening, and I thank you for that. I can't promise you I'll be perfect, but I want you to promise me that if you have any questions or concerns, or if I screw up, you come and tell me. Do you think you would be willing to start over with me? We have lots of work to get done, so I'll be over every day. If we hurry, we can get everything completed. I'm so excited to go to this boutique. Chloe, they have the most beautiful gowns. I'd love to see you in them," Sylvia rambled.
"I can buy my own gown."
"This boutique has dresses in every price range, but whichever one you choose, I'd like to buy it for you. And shoes! We can't forget those. What size do you wear?"
"Stop it! Just stop it." Chloe fell to her knees.
Matthew opened the closet door, walked over and attempted to lift her to her feet. "Say what you need to say, baby."
"I can't! Where am I supposed to begin? Sylvia, you think you can show up here and I'm supposed to forgive you? Where the hell have you been all my life? You ruined me!!!" Chloe got up and slammed the door in her mother's face, and then let her body slide back down against Matthew's.
He sat on the floor beside her and held her in his arms.
"You gave her my letter! That was private, Matthew!"
"Give her a chance, Chloe. She did so many things wrong, but maybe she's sincere. I can't apologize for giving her your letter. I wasn't about to watch you continue to fall apart like you have been."
Chloe stood up, grabbed her purse and keys, ran out the door past Sylvia, and drove away as fast as she could. The longing to have her mother with her again was gone. She was filled with nothing but hurt and rage. Chloe resisted the urge to hit her on the way out the door.