The Wright Mistake(75)

When the cops finally left, the room felt much too small for all the people in my apartment.

“Can I stay with you?” I asked Heidi.

Her eyes widened in surprise, but she nodded. “Of course. You’re welcome anytime.”

“Jules,” Austin said.

“Do you think we could talk?” I asked, glancing around at my friends. “Alone?”

Everyone made a hasty departure, leaving me alone in the apartment with Austin. Standing here made me feel horribly exposed. I hated this place. I would be happy if it burned to the ground.

“Jules, about what happened,” Austin said, stepping forward.

I held my hand out and tried not to break down in front of him. “Please, don’t.”

“I feel like an idiot. He got into my friend circle. I thought…I thought he was my friend. I never expected any of this to happen.”

“I know. Dillon is a master manipulator. I should have been paying more attention. I should have known he was out on parole and that he’d come for me. I thought I was safe. That the name change and the huge move would be enough. But I was wrong.”

“That’s not your fault.”

“It is my fault,” I said, looking up into his face. His beaten, bruised, swollen face. “All of this is my fault.”

“This is Dillon’s fault. Not yours. He did this, Julia.”

“I brought him here. I let my guard down. I thought I could live a normal life, Austin…and I just can’t.”

“Yes, you can,” he tried to assure me. He took a step forward.

I shuddered and pulled away. All the anger welled up inside me. All the things I’d learned about Austin. Everything he’d been keeping from me. I couldn’t do this.

“Don’t touch me,” I said, my voice low.

“Jules,” he groaned. But he was still drunk. He’d still be drunk for a while. “Don’t pull back from me. Don’t let him win.”

“It’s not about winning or losing. It’s about what I can handle. And, right now, I can’t handle this.”

“This?” he said hollowly.

“Us,” I corrected.

“Are you breaking up with me?”

I looked him square in the eyes and saw the man I’d fallen so desperately for. The man who I’d needed today. And he hadn’t been there. He had lied—to me, his family, to himself. I couldn’t be with a man like that.

“Yes,” I finally said.

“Julia, I know you’re upset with me about the drinking. I know I shouldn’t have done it. But I am not stepping back from you because of your past.”

“No, you’re not physically stepping back from me,” I said, raising my voice. “You just emotionally abuse everyone around you. My past is my past. But what we’re fucking dealing with, Austin, is your present! Your argument is that, because you know now that you shouldn’t have done it, I should roll over and ignore the bullshit.”

“Jules—”

“Don’t call me that!” I shrieked. “Didn’t you hear him call me that? Don’t you understand why I can’t hear it?”

Austin cringed. “I know. Fuck!”

He ran a hand back through his hair. It was hard for me to even look at his face.

“I don’t want to lose you over this.”

“You don’t get a say,” I told him.

“I damn well do!”

I winced at his raised voice and wrapped my arms around my body. In that moment, I felt like a victim again. I’d managed to stand up to Dillon, and Austin was freaking out on me now. No, I couldn’t do it.

“Fuck,” he groaned, turning away from me and pacing. “I’m sorry. Please, tell me what happened. Tell me how I can fix this.”

“You can’t.” I shook my head and stared off into my bedroom where the remnants of the bullet I’d fired still remained in the carpet.

“I can,” he insisted.

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” I said. “I’ve made my decision. Now, get out of my apartment.”

“No. Watching you walk away with him was the most terrifying moment of my life,” Austin said. “I can’t let that be the end of us.”

I straightened at his declaration. “You didn’t hear what the fuck happened here, Austin. But I had to back Dillon out of my apartment with a gun. So, don’t stand there and fucking tell me that you won’t leave when I tell you to.” I shook my head and crossed my arms. “You fucked up. You stayed at your ex’s place, hid your alcohol use, and then went on a bender. Actions have consequences. And, right now, they prove to me that I was delusional for thinking you were serious about us.”