I couldn't be here another minute.
Despite the dangers, I revved the engine and peeled out of the parking lot. My breathing was erratic, and my tears refused to stop. My face was hot, and my eyes burned. Still, I didn't stop. I didn't pull over.
I made it home without remembering a single thing I'd done to get there. As soon as I was inside, I went straight to the shower, turned the water on as hot as it would go, stripped out of my work clothes, and stepped under the spray.
The tears eventually subsided to a low keening and chest-rattling breaths. I moved into the living room and turned on some mindless TV, staring at it, unseeing.
That was how Emery found me when she got home after school. "Hey! You're home early!"
I slowly turned to look at her and then back at the TV. "Yeah."
"What's going on?" she asked after seeing my splotchy red face and the clothes she had dubbed my Tinder breakup pajamas. Emery hurried to the couch and sat down. "Did you and Landon break up? What did he do to you? I'll kill him."
"I … I … " I coughed over the words, trying to get them out. "I got fired."
Emery whipped back, shocked. "You got fired?"
"Yep."
She gaped at me. "You're the best employee they have. On what grounds could they possibly fire you?"
"Probably fucking my boss."
"It's just rumor and speculation," Emery insisted. "I mean, what do they know? They're grasping at straws. You can deny it. Landon will stick up for you. We'll tell Jensen and Morgan. We'll get this straightened out. They can't do that. It's unlawful."
"They have proof."
"What proof?" Emery squeaked.
The tears came again when I thought about it. "Landon and I went to a golf tournament together this weekend, and someone took videos of us together. I watched one of us kissing."
"Oh." Emery tucked her legs up underneath herself and chewed on her finger. "Well … fuck."
"Yeah."
I bent forward, putting my head in my hands. Emery rubbed my back and held me as I cried.
"Who sent in the videos?" she asked after a couple of minutes.
I sniffled. "I don't know. I had to get out of Julia's office … "
"Julia?" Emery gasped. "She fired you?"
"She didn't want to, but … yeah."
"God. Okay, I'm going to text her and see if she'll come over. Maybe we can figure out who sent it in."
I went back to watching the TV and contemplating how horrible my life was at the present moment when Julia showed up in my apartment.
"Hey," she said tentatively.
"Come on in," Emery said.
"Is she … "
"A wreck but not mad at you."
Julia deflated. "Thank God. That was the hardest thing I've ever done at work before."
I dismissively waved my hand and then turned back to the TV. She was just doing her job. I couldn't blame her. I was busy blaming myself and Landon for this catastrophe.
"Did it say who that email was from?" Emery prodded.
"No, it was anonymous." Julia frowned. "I thought it was weird, but there were enough different images that we couldn't think that they had been doctored. Then, Heidi agreed that they'd gone away together."
"I didn't know you were going to fire me if I said yes," I muttered.
"I know. I'm sorry. I feel like the worst friend ever."
"How is Landon taking all of this?" Emery asked.
I frowned and glanced away. I hadn't asked about Landon. I hadn't even checked my phone to see if he had texted or called. My fury was building again, and I didn't know if I could handle seeing him when I was like this.
"I have no idea," Julia said. "He was in some meeting for the higher-ups all day. I never saw him."
"Does he even know?" Emery asked. "I mean … he has to know, right? You ran this by him first?"
"I … I don't know. I thought that everyone had done what they were supposed to do in this situation. It wasn't my job to follow up with Landon. I mean … I thought he had already been questioned."
"Heidi, you should probably text him."
I shook my head. "No."
"He might not even know."
"I said no," I spat.
Both girls stilled. They could feel my anger from where they were standing next to the couch. I couldn't seem to get it under control.
If Landon and I had just waited, if we had listened to everyone else, if we had done the smart thing and stayed away from each other, I never would have been in this situation.