Then, she traipsed upstairs, as if the entire world was at her feet once more.
But, really, it was crumbling all around me.
"Fuck this," I muttered.
Without another word, I turned and walked out the front door. My feet carried me down the street and onto the golf course. I found the nearest green and stood there, watching as a couple tried and failed to get their ball into the hole.
This was what it all came back to.
This was where I was home.
This was my whole life.
Now, I couldn't even use a putter, let alone swing a club. I might be in a midlife crisis or something, but everything I'd known and everything I'd associated with as a person felt over.
I might get back to golfing. I might not.
I might save my marriage. I might not.
I might have a family one day. I might not.
All I knew was, I wouldn't continue with how things were.
My family hated Miranda. Everyone hated Miranda. The only reason that we had stayed together this long was because of the pregnancy, and after that display, how could I possibly want kids with her. How could I want to bring a child into a world where his or her mother acted this way?
I was done catering to Miranda. I was done dealing with this shit. I had nothing left in me. No more chances.
Why should I keep putting myself through this?
I didn't even love her.
With a sigh, I felt a weight fall off of my shoulders. I finally knew that I was doing exactly the right thing.
I pulled my phone out and dialed the last number I'd called.
"Landon?" Jensen answered on the first ring. "You back in Tampa?"
"You said that you'd help me," I said to him.
My eyes were locked on the green before me. Jensen was a fixer. We could do this together.
"Miranda?"
"I think I need a lawyer."
Jensen slowly breathed out. "I was afraid it would come to this."
"Yeah. I'm done. I'm so done."
"I'll get on it right away. Florida is a no-fault state. You know she'll be getting half of your golf money, right?"
"Fuck my money," I growled.
"Just letting you know. Half of everything after the prenup."
"It doesn't matter. Something has to change. She's not the woman I married. She's not the woman I want to be married to."
"What are you going to do in the meantime?" he asked. "You can't live in that house with her."
"I don't know. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. I'll know more about what is happening with golf then. After that … I'll figure it out."
"Focus on getting better. Let me handle the rest."
I nodded, and we ended the call.
I took a deep breath as the divorce that had been a long time coming was finally put into motion. It was as if I could finally take a breath, and I knew then that I was doing the right thing.
But I sure was not looking forward to breaking that news to Miranda.
Eight
Heidi
One Month Later
"I don't know about a third date, Julia," I said, leaning my hip against the side of her desk. "Nick was almost too nice, too normal."
Julia rolled her eyes. "You need nice and normal, girl. All you have been dealing with are assholes, douche bags, and jerkfaces."
I shrugged at my closest work friend. "So, I have a type."
"You do not have a type. I had that type, remember?" She held out her arm to reveal the tattoos peeking out of her blouse and then ran one hand down the array of studs in her ear. "Bad girls attract bad boys. You are like the prom queen."
"I was not prom queen."
"Your hair is bleach blonde to your waist, and you're wearing more bright colors than I have in my whole wardrobe. Plus, high heels," she added in triumph. "I attract the bad boys. You go looking for them."
"So what? I'm only twenty-eight. Live a little."
Julia laughed brusquely. "Oh, I've lived way too much for the both of us. I'm content with not living like I used to and finding a nice and normal dude."
"Like Trevor?" I asked.
"Yes, like Trevor."
Julia and Trevor had started dating at the beginning of the summer. He worked in accounting, which made him completely off-limits to me because of my no-dating-coworkers rule. But he had a cute friend, Nick, who did not work for Wright Construction and whom I had now gone on two double dates with. He was exactly as I had described-nice, normal, and baggage-free.
That might be why Julia liked Trevor, but sometimes, I found it all a little dull. I was notoriously picky, and though I thought he was an all right guy, I didn't get any vibes off of him that he was the one.