I don’t know why I wanted to go for a walk—I guess just to blow off some steam. It seems to be working, because the farther north I go, the more I start thinking about Ann and what she must be feeling right now. I bet she’s crying her eyes out, which is honestly too bad. As much as I think I’d be a better fit for Tanner—if he’d just give me a chance!—she definitely doesn’t deserve what he did to her.
After twenty or thirty minutes of marching in the sand, my legs are getting tired, but I’m not ready to go back yet, so I find a nice spot on a giant piece of driftwood to rest. Not too far away, a young family—a mom and dad and two little girls, maybe seven and three years old—is building a beach fire, preparing to cook lunch over the open flames. The littlest girl seems fascinated by everything her older sister is doing. When big sister skips in the sand, little sister does the same. When big sister examines the empty shell of a dead crab, little sister squats down and grabs it from her to get a closer look. And when big sister picks up a stick and tosses it on the budding fire, so does the little one, earning both of them a stern warning from their father.
“But I’m big enough to help with the fire,” the big one says, her voice carrying on the wind.
“Maybe,” her dad replies, “But your job is to set a good example for Missy, and right now that means staying clear of the fire until we’re ready for hot dogs.”
The older sister is quiet for a minute, then she says, “Daddy, I’m tired of being the big sister. When Missy’s around, I can’t have any fun. And I don’t like her copying me all the time.”
The dad laughs, blows at the base of the fire, and then he wraps an arm around his oldest daughter and speaks quietly just to her.
I think I know what he’s saying to her, even though I can’t hear. It’s what Dad said to me when I used to complain about Cade.
“The only reason she copies you is because she looks up to you. She wants to be just like you. That’s why it’s so important for you to help out and be a good example.”
I can tell the girl is thinking it over. Finally, kind of like she still doesn’t want to, she turns to her younger sister, takes her by the hand, and says, “C’mon, Missy, I’ll show you how to build a sand castle while Daddy makes the fire.”
I don’t know why, but as I see the pair of them waddle off toward wetter sand, my eyes start to tear up. I remember vividly when Ann taught me how to make a sand castle. Just like I remember her giving me pointers on riding a bicycle, spelling my name, curling my hair, painting my nails, and a million other things she helped me with.
It’s not the same now, but I remember wanting to be just like her. I, too, would follow her around like a puppy, copying everything she did and frequently taking her things because they seemed cooler than my own toys. And Ann, like this other big sister walking away from me on the beach, tolerated it. Sometimes that meant not getting to do what she wanted to do, because she was looking out for my best interest.
As the girls start building their sand castle, the older one keeps looking up, watching her father stoking the blaze. I can see in her eyes that she wants to be there too, doing big-girl stuff like putting sticks on the fire, but she dutifully stays with her younger sister.
A hint of guilt washes over me. How many times over the years did Ann miss out on things she’d rather have been doing because she was doing her duty as the big sister?
“Well, not anymore,” I whisper. “Ann deserves to play with a little fire right now.”
Before her flame burns out…
As the beach house comes into view, an idea pops in my head that could turn the whole game in my favor. Two ideas, actually. One for Ann and one for Cade. “That’s it!” I say out loud.
I am totally going to win the Winner’s Game!
Eager to get started on my plan, I pick up the pace. When I reach the house, Dad and Cade are on the back porch grilling hamburgers.
Dad sends Cade inside and asks me to have a seat at the picnic table.
“Am I in trouble?” I ask.
“No. I just want to talk. This whole Tanner thing…I kind of want to take your pulse a bit. You seemed a little upset that he didn’t…you know, consider you instead of that other girl.”
“That’s not true,” I reply defensively, even though it totally is.
“You sure? Because it kind of seems like you’ve had a little crush on Tanner too.”
“Why does everyone keep saying that?” Because it’s true, but that’s beside the point.
“So it didn’t hurt when Tanner asked Ann out? It’s natural to feel a little jealous. After all, you’re getting to that age, hormonally speaking, when—”