The Winner's Game(53)
“Oh,” says Tanner, sounding slightly disappointed. “Is she coming?”
Disappointed? That Ann isn’t here? Doesn’t he know how boring she is? I cross my fingers behind my back. “I think she just wanted to watch TV.”
A little lie can’t hurt. Right?
“Oh. Well, did she say hi or anything?”
“No. She didn’t even mention you.” OK, that’s at least a partial truth. “Who are you?”
“Bummer,” he says to himself and then shrugs it off. “Umm…I’m Tanner. Can I get anything for you guys?”
Cade picks out a piece of chocolate in about two seconds. I circle the store for five minutes, occasionally asking Tanner what he thinks about this one or that one. Eventually I make a decision and we leave. Not that I want to, but it would be weird to linger longer.
“What was that all about?” Cade asks as soon as we’re outside. “Why did you tell him Ann didn’t want to come?”
“Didn’t she say he was just some kid from a candy shop? She obviously isn’t interested in him.”
“Yeah, but…I thought you said you thought she thought he was cute?”
“Did I? Well, he’s not, so it’s safe.”
“You’re not worried about ugly children?”
“Huh?”
“If he’s not good-looking, they might fall in love and have ugly children. That’s what you said.”
“Right…well…I don’t think we need to worry about it. He’s not really her type.”
He stops walking. “You could tell that just from talking to him?”
“Oh yeah, totes. I’m very good at recognizing these things.”
“So whose type is he?”
I smile and then, picturing him in my head, reply, “Mine.” A split second later I come to my senses. Stopping in place, I glare at Cade like the nemesis that he is. “And if you repeat that to anyone—and I mean anyone—you’ll wish you hadn’t. Got it, Pirate Boy?”
“You’re mean.”
“Which is why you’ll keep your mouth shut about where we went.”
When we get home, Cade makes a beeline for the upstairs bedroom. I follow him to my room, where Ann is lying on her bed with a pen in hand.
Cade looks back and forth between us, probably trying to decide whether or not to tell her about Tanner. I give him my best warning look and pray.
Ann shimmies to the edge of her bed and sits up. “You guys look like you’ve been up to something.”
“Nope,” I say quickly. “Just…hanging out.”
She eyes me suspiciously, then turns to my brother. “Cade? Did you guys do something wrong?”
“Not me,” he says.
“Me neither.”
Ann’s head dances back and forth a couple times between the two of us, and then she lies back down. “Whatever. I don’t care anyway. I’m done caring.”
The comment catches me off guard. “What is that supposed to mean?”
Ann lifts a finger to the bunk above her and traces around one of the ink hearts. For a second she remains quiet, but then she says, “I just…I was looking at these hearts. There are seven of them now. At first, I wanted to draw one for every day until I get my new heart. But the more I think about it, I realize I could very well be counting the days until I die.”
“Don’t say that,” Cade says immediately. “Your heart is fine, Ann. It’s going to last until you get a new one.”
“Whatever. I don’t care anyway.”
“I’m telling Mom you said that,” I warn her.
She turns just enough to look at me. “Mom’s not home yet. Besides, what would you tell her? That I have a defective heart? Go ahead, knock yourself out. She understands the possible outcomes more than anyone.”
“So all this time you just pretended to be brave, and now you’re giving up?”
“No, I’m just facing reality. I’m tired of not really living. I don’t want to die, and I’m certainly not giving up, but I’m just resigning myself to the fact that my life could very well be short—shorter than most anyway—and so I need to make the most of the time I’ve got.” She pauses. “Besides, it’s not like any of us is going to live forever. Heck, for all we know, this might be our very last conversation. A meteor could crash into our house right now and we’d all be toast.”
“That’s called giving up,” I fire back, “and I’m telling Mom.”
Ann turns away and chuckles dryly. “Hey, what do you care? You already wished I was dead.”
My heart is suddenly pounding like crazy. Is Ann’s heart condition contagious, because maybe I’ve got it too? Does she really believe I wish she was dead?