He didn’t move. “If you’re done with this tantrum—”
“God, will you listen to yourself? Look around you. Devlin is dead. Dead. And for what? Because you wanted to make a grab at power. Cillian is in the hospital because he realized that a man who’d break his word without blinking isn’t someone we want to ally with.”
“What Dmitri does with James Halloran is no concern of mine.”
It was like beating her head against a brick wall and expecting it to be reasonable. She wanted to rail and scream and throw things, but it wouldn’t get through to him. “I love James Halloran.” She turned, feeling so damn defeated.
“Carrigan.”
For a second she thought she’d gotten through to him, that something had penetrated the stubborn wall he kept around himself and opened his eyes to what he stood to lose. Then he went and dashed that tiny hope on the rocks of reality. “If you walk out that door, you’re dead to me and every person in this family.”
It was always like this with him, all or nothing, obedience or threats. She kept going. “Then consider me as dead as Devlin.” Closing the study door behind her felt like she’d sucked all the air out of the hallway. Despite everything he’d put her through, she wanted to curl into a ball and sob at the injustice of it all. Damn it, she loved her father despite all his faults. And he’d just effectively banished her.
That got her moving. She had less than ten minutes before he sent someone to make sure she was gone, and there were things she refused to leave behind. Carrigan rushed up the stairs and to her room, ignoring Sloan when she poked her head out of her door. She tore through her dresser, breathing a tiny sigh of relief when she came up with James’s album. After dumping it into a small overnight bag, she grabbed a few sets of clothing and a picture of her with all her siblings, grinning at the camera like fools. It was a few years old, but it had always been one of her favorites.
“Carrigan? What’s going on?”
She didn’t glance at her sister. Her makeup went into the bag. “Tell Keira that I love her.” She slipped a few pieces of her favorite jewelry into her pocket. They’d all been gifts on milestone birthdays from her mother, and she didn’t want to walk out the door without them. She turned and nearly ran over Sloan. “I love you, too. I don’t want to leave you like this, but if I stay he’s going to make me marry someone else. I can’t do it.”
Sloan’s normally pale skin was ghastly white. “He’ll kill you.”
“He already did. He just pronounced me dead to the family.” She hugged her sister, holding her tight for a long moment before she released her. “Take care of yourself. No one else is going to do it.” Another quick hug. “I’ve got to go.” As much as she didn’t want to leave her little sisters in this house, there wasn’t a damn thing she could do about it. Her father might be willing to let her walk out of here with only a symbolic death, but he wouldn’t let them all go. “I’m so sorry.”
Voices sounded at the bottom of the stairs, and Sloan shoved her down the hall. “Take the back stairs. I’ll stall for you.”
“I love you.”
“I love you, too. Now go.”
She went. The back stairs were deserted and she made it out of the town house without seeing anyone else. As soon as she hit the street, doubts assailed her. She’d been so busy trying to get out, she hadn’t stopped to consider what she’d do next. Carrigan stopped on the corner, the sheer weight of the decision she’d just made nearly sending her to her knees. Free. She was free. It was almost too good to be true…until she started thinking about what she’d sacrificed for the chance. Her siblings. Her parents. Her entire life. She could go anywhere, do anything, be any kind of person she wanted to, and no one would appear to drag her back into the fold.
I can actually get a job—use my degree in communications and journalism for something I’m passionate about. I can have a real life.
Really, there was only one destination for her.
She walked down to the corner, her heels crunching over the newly fallen snow, and hailed a cab. She rattled off the address to the one place she’d sworn up and down that she’d never go back to. The Halloran house. James. Her nerves kicked into high gear as the cab entered Southie and finally pulled to a stop in front of the place where she almost spent her last day on earth. There was something ironic about coming here on the day her family declared her dead to them. She paid the cabbie and started for the front door.
What if he doesn’t want you anymore now that you’re not an O’Malley?