Since she couldn’t speak the lies that would comfort her sister, Sloan wrapped her arms around her sister. “I’m sorry.”
“I love him, you know.” Another sob, so harsh she thought she misheard until Carrigan said it again. “I love James Halloran.”
Shock almost had her dropping her arms. James Halloran? She’d suspected her sister was seeing someone, but he was the last person she would have guessed. Sloan pressed her lips together to keep the accusations inside. How could you? His family is responsible for Devlin! He might as well have pulled the trigger himself! He kidnapped you! All things her sister already knew. And she obviously needed comfort right now more than she needed to be yelled at. So Sloan rubbed soothing circles on her back and let her sister cry herself out.
It took time, the minutes ticking by until the sky beyond Carrigan’s bedroom window began to lighten. But she finally lifted her head and wiped at her face. “I’m fine. I’m okay.”
No, she wasn’t. But Sloan wasn’t about to point it out. Instead she took her sister’s hands. “I know you care for…” She almost choked on the name. “…James, but you have to marry Dmitri. You know that, don’t you?” To do anything else courted their father’s rage—and he wouldn’t be alone. The entire family would unite to make sure Carrigan and James never had a chance to be together. The wounds of the summer were too raw and, even if they weren’t, some things were unforgivable.
Devlin bleeding out in the street with a Halloran bullet inside him was one of them.
Her sister exhaled, her shoulder bowing down. “I know. James isn’t for me. I’m marrying Dmitri. It’s the only option.” She sounded like she’d just delivered a death sentence to herself.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Carrigan woke up the next morning feeling like she’d been run over by a truck. Her life hadn’t been picture-perfect to begin with, but it’d sure as hell gone downhill faster than she could have imagined. She touched her face, still feeling puffy and raw from her crying jag last night. She hadn’t meant to break down, let alone in front of Sloan, but once she’d started, she hadn’t been able to stop. She’d seen the look on her sister’s face, though, when she’d finally gotten control of herself. Sloan sided with Aiden and Cillian. She thought Carrigan was a monster for sleeping with James, let alone being stupid enough to fall for him.
I told her I love him.
She shouldn’t have let the damning words past her lips, but if there was one person who wouldn’t pass it on, it was Sloan. Carrigan rolled over and stared at her ceiling. The temptation to pull the covers over her head and sleep the day away was almost too much to pass up. But then she’d have to admit to hiding in her room to avoid seeing her brother or father or any other member of her family who’d get in her face and call her a traitor at the first available opportunity. Which would mean she was afraid.
No help for it. She had to get out of bed.
She padded to her bathroom and took a leisurely shower, telling herself all the while that she wasn’t actually stalling. After styling her hair and putting on her war paint, there was nothing left to do but go downstairs and face the firing squad. Could I be any more melodramatic?
Probably. Anything to keep from thinking about last night. James told her he loved her. He really loves me. She stared at her reflection, the image blurring to replace the tortured look on his face when he’d confessed what his father had done to him. Abuse was too kind a term—and death was too kind a penalty for it. She clenched her hands, her nails digging into her palms as fury washed over her in waves. She’d already believed Victor Halloran deserved to die after this summer. Knowing what she did now? She hoped that he suffered horribly before he went. If there was any way she could arrange for that to happen, she wouldn’t hesitate to do it.
James couldn’t be her priority anymore—at least not as far as anyone else was concerned. She had to put on an obedient expression and jump through all the hoops set out before her to keep him safe. That was the only thing that mattered. As much as she’d wanted to take him up on the offer blazing from his eyes last night and say that their enemies could go fuck themselves, she knew the truth. They might have a few days, maybe even a few months, but the debt would come due at some point and then James would die. She’d be lucky if she went with him, but Carrigan didn’t like her chances.
Either way, it was a lose-lose scenario. The only way she was going to get through the next however many years of her life and marriage to Dmitri was knowing that James still walked this earth. She’d suffer untold horrors to make sure that happened.