She pressed a hand to her throat. Oh God, where had that thought come from? She liked how he made her feel, in bed and out, but that was a long way from considering a serious relationship—any relationship—with him.
“Promise me, Carrigan.” Aiden’s hand tightened on her arm. “Promise me that you’ll focus on our father’s list and leave Halloran alone.”
She didn’t have a choice. If she fought him on this, he’d throw her to the wolves. She cleared her throat. “I promise.” Even as the words settled in the space between them, she wasn’t sure if she was lying or not.
The town car pulled up in front of their home, saving her from this conversation. Cillian was out of the car before it stopped moving, slamming the door behind him and striding down the street. She had a feeling she knew where he was going, but there was nothing she could do about it. Carrigan could actually feel her siblings fracturing around her—from Aiden down to Keira—and she was partly to blame.
She followed Aiden out onto the shaded sidewalk, but apparently he wasn’t through with her. “Which one of the men is the top of your list?”
She wished she could pretend she misunderstood him. “I haven’t met them all.” When he just stared, she sighed. Really, there was no contest. “Dmitri Romanov.” He might be dangerous, but at least he was upfront about it.
“Call him.”
She jerked back. “Excuse me?”
“Call him. See him again. Get this fucking thing moving. The faster you’re married, the faster we can sweep this whole clusterfuck under the rug.”
And the faster the cage door would close behind her. She took a deep breath. “Aiden—”
“You’re being deliberately dense. That wasn’t a request, Carrigan. It was a fucking order.”
Glaring, she fished her cell phone out of her clutch and scrolled through her most recent calls. “This is bullshit.”
“You don’t get to play righteous fury right now. Stop stalling and call him.”
She was stalling, and for what? If it was two weeks or two days, her time had nearly run out. With a sigh, she called Dmitri, hoping he’d let it go to voice mail.
“Hello, Carrigan.”
Damn it. She’d had such shitty luck today, and apparently it wasn’t going to change now. “Dmitri.” She held Aiden’s gaze while she spoke, part of her surprised that her voice was so even despite the inner turmoil she could barely breathe past. “I’d like to see you again.”
“Excellent. Are you free Tuesday? I had to make a trip back to New York to take care of some business, but I should be back in Boston by then.”
She didn’t ask what business he had to take care of personally. She didn’t want to know. “That would be wonderful. Dinner this time?”
“Of course. I’ll send my driver to pick you up at seven.”
High-handed. She gritted her teeth and bit out the next words. “I look forward to seeing you.” She hung up and turned to Aiden. “Are you happy now?”
“Not even close. Don’t fuck this up, Carrigan. You have no idea what’s at stake.”
She would if he talked to her instead of stepping up like he was their father and she was his little minion. But that was how Seamus operated, so why would Aiden do anything differently? “You’re just like our father.” The words came out poisonous and low, and she instantly wanted to take them back.
He just stepped aside with a short nod. “I do what I have to in order to keep our family safe. You’d do well to remember that.” He turned on his heel and walked up the stairs and into the town house, leaving her staring after him.
She was doing what was best for the family. She hadn’t run like she’d considered. She hadn’t fought her father’s ridiculous list. The only thing she’d taken for herself in all these years was the occasional night of freedom.
And James.
She pushed the thought away. She didn’t know what she was going to do about him, but her brother was right—there was no future there. Even if by some miracle he fell in love with her and she…Well, it was impossible. Her family would never give their blessing. His family wanted her dead. That wasn’t the material that happily ever after was made of.
Maybe it really would be best to cut things off now. It seemed like every hour she spent with him attached more strings to her heart. Too many more and he’d rip it out of her chest when he walked away.
Chapter Eighteen
Cillian didn’t have a destination in mind when he set out. All he wanted to do was escape the monster in his head. Seeing his sister touching a Halloran had sent him back to that dark street, to the sound of gunshots, to watching Devlin bleed out. It was a Halloran who gave the order that resulted in their little brother’s death, and she was kissing one.