I moan and smile serenely for a moment, thinking about how strange this is for me, but loving it all the same. It’s been too long since I’ve been with a guy. I work eighty hours a week and have no life. There’s no time to meet anyone and no time to do anything even remotely like this. As it is, I have to be up at the hotel to take Sophie’s boudoir pictures later. I’m always working. There’s never any time for fun and it kills me that all that work was all for nothing.
Don’t give up yet, a voice whispers in the back of my mind, as Deegan teases me ruthlessly with kisses.
I won’t. I’m a fighter and I’m not going to roll over and die. Nick Ferro is going to have to shove me headfirst into the ground before I stop trying to win.
Nick Ferro. Nick. The name echoes through my thoughts, but my mind becomes filled with a lust-ridden fog that makes me unable to think. I blink slowly, enjoying the way Deegan’s hot mouth feels on my skin as I stare at the stars.
My life hasn’t turned out the way I wanted. I follow the rules, playing fairly in every way, but always come out behind. I’m breaking the rules this time. I’m going to do this with Deegan and not care about the consequences.
Deegan whispers in my ear, “Tell me what you want.”
“You. Now.” I manage to reply, but my voice is all air. Reaching for him, I tug his shirt out from his slacks and run my palms up his back before digging my nails in. Each one bites his skin as I scratch and pull him toward me.
Deegan grins and goes for my neck again, this time undressing me as the kisses spread lower and lower. He places the garments under my back as he removes each one so my hot skin isn’t on the cold stone. Then he dips his head, and oh, my God!
My eyes close as I savor the sensation of not having a worry in the world. In the very back of my mind, in the places where I think dark thoughts live, some part of me can still realize that I’m using Deegan to forget everything, even if it’s only temporary.
It’s worth it. Isn’t it? I mean, it’s not like I’m a slut. I’ve only slept with one guy before. It was a long time ago and we were in a serious relationship. Yes, it was in high school, but that’s the last relationship I had. Our relationship fell apart when he left for college and some blond co-ed mistakenly fell on his dick. I walked in on them. That’s pathetic. That event was my last sexual encounter.
Stop thinking!
Deegan’s breathless voice pulls me back. “Are you sure?” He kisses way below my neckline and then hovers there, waiting for an answer.
“Do you have a condom?” He nods and the black square appears out of thin air. He holds it between two fingers and looks down at me. His chest is toned and his abs are lean. Coupled with the trim waist, he’s my type to the core. I nod and pull him toward me, making his lips meet mine.
My heart pounds harder and faster as the kiss grows hotter and hotter. Deegan’s fingers are in my hair, tangling it and pushing it out of my face as he rocks his hips against mine. I’m only wearing panties and Deegan’s down to a pair of black tighty-whities. What do you call those? I know the only barrier keeping him from me is the thin layer of fabric between us. He’s obviously ready, and every time he moves against me, I want this even more.
Just as I gasp again, about to beg him to do all sorts of naughty things to me, my eyelids flutter open. The shore behind us is dark, but I can make out hazy outlines in the moonlight. Rocks of different sizes litter the shore as far as the eye can see. I blink slowly and my eyes focus on a shape that’s too soft to be made of stone. A dark outline is standing on the shore, leaning against a dead tree—watching.
Sucking in air, I grip Deegan’s wrist hard, stopping him. “Someone’s there.”
“No, can’t be.” The condom is open and the wrapper is gone. Did he toss it into the water? I’m not a hippie, but I don’t toss trash on the ground—or in the water. He’s slipped his bottoms off and is in the process of hooking a finger around my panties.
I squirm so he can’t pull them off. “Deegan, we can’t do this—someone’s watching.” The words come out in a rush.
Deegan looks down at me and smiles like I’m a child. “If you wanted to stop, you should have said so.”
“I didn’t. I mean I do want you, but I’m not doing it with someone watching.” Our eyes are locked and mine are pleading for him to turn around and look.
Deegan sighs loudly, like he’s massively annoyed and turns around. The way he scans the shore says everything—he thinks I’m making this up—until he flinches, spying the voyeur.