She was wearing an off-white wool dress with a bubble skirt and a neat boxy matching jacket-the nearest thing she had been able to find amongst her new clothes that looked anything like ‘bridal'. Not that this was a proper wedding, or she a proper bride, of course. She must remember that. She was hardly likely to forget it, was she? It had been a shock to learn that they were getting married so quickly, but she suspected that she should have guessed Ilios wouldn't want to waste any time putting his plans into practice.
She walked towards the door. It was a strange feeling to know that the next time she looked at her reflection in this mirror she would not be Lizzie Wareham any more. She would be Mrs Ilios Manos.
Chapter Ten
‘REMEMBER that you agreed to this,' Ilios warned Lizzie as they stood together on the steps leading of the town hall.
Ilios's notary, who had been with them the whole time whilst the simple ceremony making them man and wife had been taking place, stood back discreetly as Ilios took her arm.
Not trusting herself to speak, Lizzie nodded her head and forced a brief tight smile. It was all very well telling herself that it wasn't a real marriage, nor a proper wedding, nor Ilios her real husband-there had still been that dreadful moment when they had stood together before the official marrying them and inside her head she had seen the small church in the village where she had grown up, and herself dressed in white, with her father standing proudly at her side, her mother fussing over her dress and her sisters laughing, Ilios watching them smiling, and she had felt a tearing, aching sense of loss strike her right to her heart.
‘Come,' Ilios urged her.
The sun was shining, drying pavements still wet from the rain that had fallen whilst they were inside the building, and the breeze was cool. Summer, with its heat, was still many weeks away, and for the first time since she had agreed to marry Ilios Lizzie longed desperately for those weeks to fly past, so that she would be free to go home to her family. It had felt so wrong, so lonely getting married without them-even if it was a pretend marriage-and she ached with nostalgia for her childhood and homesickness for her sisters and the twins.
The sunlight shone brightly on the newness of her wedding ring. She must stop feeling sorry for herself and remember why she had agreed to marry Ilios, she told herself-why she had had to marry him. He was still cupping her elbow, very much the attentive bride-groom-no doubt for the benefit of the notary to whom he was now speaking in Greek. Both of them were looking at her, their conversation excluding her, reminding her that she was an outsider in a foreign land and very much alone.
The pressure of Ilios's hold on her arm urged her closer to him, as though … as though he had somehow sensed what she was feeling and wanted to reassure her-just as a real husband would have done. That, of course, was ridiculous. Even if he had guessed how she was feeling he was hardly likely to care, was he? She could feel his thumb lightly rubbing her skin through her jacket. He was probably so used to caressing his lovers that he didn't even realise what he was doing, Lizzie thought waspishly, as she tried to ignore the effect his absent-minded caress was having on her body. He was turning towards her, smiling warmly at her-a false smile, for his audience, of course.
‘Forgive us for speaking in Greek, agapi mou,' he told her. ‘We were just discussing some business. But now, Nikos, I am impatient to take my beautiful wife for a celebratory lunch.'
The notary had soon gone, and Ilios was handing her back into his car.
Lizzie had assumed that Ilios would take her straight back to the apartment, and leave her to go on to his office, but instead he parked the car in a convenient space outside an elegant-looking restaurant.
‘I didn't think you were serious about us celebrating,' Lizzie told him.
‘I wasn't-but we do have to eat,' he pointed out dismissively, before getting out of the car and coming round to her door to open it for her.
They might not be publicly celebrating their marriage, but the keen-eyed restaurant owner who had greeted Ilios so warmly on their arrival must have noticed something-her new wedding ring, perhaps? Lizzie acknowledged. Her heart sank as he approached their table now, with a beaming smile and champagne. Of course she couldn't possibly offend him by refusing to accept his kindness, but even so she couldn't help glancing at Ilios as their glasses were filled with the sparkling liquid.
She wished that she hadn't when he lifted his glass towards her own and said softly, and very meaningfully, ‘To us.'
‘To us,' Lizzie echoed weakly, quickly sipping her own drink to disguise the fact that her hand was trembling. She mustn't blame herself too much for her reaction, Lizzie tried to comfort herself. After all a marriage, even a pretend marriage, was bound to have some effect on a person's emotions-just as a man like Ilios was bound to have an effect on a woman's awareness of her own sexuality.
The toast didn't have to be taken as a toast to them as a couple, and she was sure the deliberate emphasis Ilios had put on it was a private reminder to her that he was toasting them as separate individuals rather than a couple in their newly official union .
She found that even though she had been hungry her emotions were now too stirred up for her to have much appetite for the delicious food. Desperate for something to distract her from her unwanted and growing awareness that, no matter how illogical it might be, the fact that she and Ilios were married had produced within her an unexpected feeling of commitment to him-a sort of protective, deeply female need to reach out to him and heal the damage that had been done to his emotions and his life-Lizzie glanced round the restaurant.
Her attention focussed on a family group at another table. The parents, a pretty dark-haired young mother and a smiling paternalistic-looking father, were accompanied by three children: a little boy who looked slightly older than the twins, a girl who Lizzie guessed must be about four, and what was obviously a fairly new baby in a car seat buggy combo drawn up to the table. Although the children were not all the same sex, the relationship between them reminded her of her own childhood. The little boy, serious-looking and obviously proud of his seniority, was keeping an older-brotherly eye on the little girl and the baby, whilst the little girl was leaning over the buggy, cooing at the baby. Over their heads the parents exchanged amused and tender smiles.
Hastily Lizzie reached for her champagne, to try and swallow back the huge lump of aching emotion forming in her throat. Not for herself-she and her sisters had experienced the kind of love she could see emanating from this family. No, her sadness and pain was for those other children-Ilios's sons.
Before she could change her mind she asked Ilios, ‘Are you sure there isn't some way that you and your cousin could mend the broken fences between you and get your relationship on a happier footing?'
‘If that's a roundabout way of trying to tell me that you're anxious to bring our marriage to an end as soon as possible, then-'
‘No, it isn't that.' Lizzie stopped him. ‘It's the children-your children,' she emphasized, when she saw Ilios look frowningly towards the table she had been studying.
Leaning across the table, she asked him quietly, ‘Have you thought about what might happen to them if anything were to happen to you? They'd have no one-no father, no mother, obviously, no family Ilios. No one in their lives to give them a sense of continuity and security and … and … They would have no one to tell them their history, no one to tell them about you. I know that financially they would be protected, but that isn't enough. They'd be dreadfully alone.'
Ilios was looking down at his plate. She had infuriated him, Lizzie expected, and no doubt he was going to tell her that the future of his sons was none of her business.