Gary threw himself into his own chair and put both feet up on the desk. Criminal overconfidence was his tragic flaw, compounded by the illusion that it was the spots. ‘Where’s Woggle?’ he whispered.
Dryden nodded to the partition.
Gary winked – a grown-up trick he had never quiet mastered as he was unable to limit it to one eye. ‘What a fucking corker this is,’ he said, waving his notebook.
Henry was ominously silent.
‘So anyway,’ continued Gary, ‘he’s up this ladder with his trousers down again right…’
Dryden was immediately confused, a common problem with Gary’s copy: ‘Where were his trousers then – at the bottom or the top?’
‘Round his ankles ‘course. Broad daylight… And, according to the prosecuting sergeant he was in a state of…’ and here Gary checked his shorthand: ‘A state of extreme excitement.’
An odd gurgling sound came from Henry’s office.
Dryden’s phone rang.
‘Ben Thomas. Hi – how can I help, Philip?’
If you snapped Ben Thomas in half you’d find New Labour written right through him, thought Dryden, and very little else. On the phone Thomas had the ability to pitch his voice at a tone which suggested he was standing up and in a hurry. This indicated both that he was giving you valuable time and that it was running out. He also annoyed Dryden intensely by using his first name.
‘I’ll be brief,’ promised Dryden. ‘I understand the district council is expected to meet an unexpectedly large bill for work on the cathedral restoration this year – due to a late decision to extend work to clear and repair guttering ahead of the cold weather. There appears to be some unease that the financial controls at the cathedral are lax and that council-tax payers are having to foot the bill.’
‘Who’s uneasy?’
‘Some of your fellow councillors. Leading figures.’
‘Who exactly?’
‘At the moment they are only prepared to comment privately. But I’ll run a story – so if you want to comment this is your chance, or chat off the record.’
Dryden had spent nine years on Fleet Street, three of them at Westminster for the News. He had quickly learned that the best way to get a comment from a reluctant politician was to say a story was running anyway. They couldn’t stand the idea of missing out – especially to another politician.
‘OK. Can we agree a quote at the end?’ Councillor Thomas took silence for consent, a provincial mistake which would one day cost him dear. ‘The annual restoration work which we bankroll is supposed to include routine maintenance to gutters and stonework. It appears that a very late decision was taken to extend this year’s programme to the transept…’
‘South-west transept?’
‘… Yup. As I said. We’re told that the work is required – public safety being at risk if water collected in the guttering and froze. The question we have to ask is why wasn’t the danger spotted earlier? Last year the restoration work was concentrated on the buttresses and stonework on the southwest transept – last year we could have extended that work for very little extra cost. This year new scaffolding has had to be erected, a hugely costly undertaking.’
‘How…’
But Thomas was ahead of him: ‘Thirty thousand quid makes a difference, Dryden’ – Dryden smiled at the missed opportunity to use his first name – ‘in a total council budget of just under six million. I’ve demanded a meeting with the Master of the Fabric and the Dean – after that we’ll move on to the contractors. Basically they have to get the message that this cannot happen again. I intend to get the money clipped off the annual bill spread over five years.’
There was a pause in which Councillor Thomas, Chairman of the Ely branch of the ‘Stop Children Smoking’ campaign, could be heard drawing deeply on a cigarette.
‘What’s so dangerous about water gathering in the gutters?’
‘Freezing water cracks stone. Thaw results in falling stone. Need a diagram?’
‘What’s causing the water to gather?’
There was a deep sigh from the far end of the line.
‘Leaves. Apparently they’re choking the mouths of the gargoyles. All right?’
‘Fine. And on the record?’
‘Errrrm. The council has responded promptly to an emergency request from the cathedral to extend work on the roof in order to protect the public from the possibility of falling stone caused by frost action. We look forward to discussing with the authorities future funding arrangements – blah, blah, blah… Make the rest up – OK?’