But Cadin didn't seem to find this flattering or amusing. He glared at Evan again and said, "I think you should let Kenny take you home. There's not going to be a party, Evan."
Evan clenched his fists. "Don't you ever tell me what to do, Cadin. When we met you were nothing but a goddamn construction worker from Brooklyn, and don't you forget that."
"How could I forget it?" Cadin asked.
Evan didn't understand.
Cadin walked over to Evan, reached for his hands, and said, "I've always been in awe of you. If I hadn't met you I don't even want to think about what my life would be like now. You're everything I've always wanted to be. You're talented, smart, and gorgeous. When you want to be, you're a great father, husband, and writer. I'm your biggest fan. But I'm not going to stand around and watch you self-destruct again." He squeezed his hands tighter. "Not this time."
Then Kenny said, "I want to find out what it is about drinking you love so much, Dad. I'm serious. I've never fully understood it. All those nights I heard you stumble home drunk and I would stay in bed, thankful you'd come home safe. That's right, I heard it all, Dad. I didn't miss a single thing. But I never understood it, and I want to know what it's like. I need to know." He walked to the bar and reached for the bottle of vodka Evan had left open.
Evan felt a pain deep in his stomach. Evidently, they were going to dig up the past. "I didn't know that. I thought you were sleeping." He thought he'd hidden all this from his son, at least most of it. He'd worked so hard at it all those years. And all this time Kenny had been listening and watching every move he'd made, just as he'd done with his own alcoholic father. Evan wondered what his psychiatrist at Havilland would say now, because he had no idea how to deal with it.
"It doesn't matter," Kenny said, with an expression of pure disgust. "I'll live. But I would like to know why you can't live without drinking." He poured a full glass of vodka and stared at it.
Evan took a deep breath and exhaled. He walked over to the bar and said, "Don't, Kenny. I'll go home with you now. I'm sorry. We'll talk about it in the morning."
Kenny lifted the drink, stared at it, and hesitated. Then he put the drink down and said, "No more talking. I'm moving back to Dad's tomorrow. I thought things had changed, but I guess I was wrong."
Evan felt a sharp pain in his chest. He knew he'd fucked up and there was no turning back now. He looked up and glanced around the room. Candy and Grayson were sitting on the sofa, not sure where to look. Cadin was near the piano with his arm around Michele. For a moment, Evan felt a slight sense of relief. He knew his good friends would be there for him in spite of what he'd done that night. That's how it had always worked. Kenny might not be able to forgive him for years to come, but Cadin and Michele understood him and they would never turn their backs on him. They might remain mad at him for a while, but never for long.
Then it dawned on him that his relationship with both Cadin and Michele might have been part of his problem. They were such good friends they never questioned him or gave him any ultimatums that lasted for long. They talked a good game, but they let him get away with anything. Here they were again: all three single, all three recently disappointed in relationships they probably knew wouldn't work in the first place, and now they could all wallow in self-pity. In fact, all three of them were so fucked up that when they got together and sat around comparing sob stories, they seemed to feed on the negative things instead of the positive things. When Evan realized this was part of what he had been trying to change in his life all along, he turned toward the front door and said, "Let's go home, Kenny."
Oh, he wanted to have another drink. He wasn't drunk enough, not by any means. The craving overwhelmed him so much he felt weak in the knees. But he knew, deep down, that if he could refrain from having another drink that night he might be able to refrain for the rest of his life. And even though Kenny might never forgive him for this night, there might still be hope for the future. And that was about all he had left.
"You can stay here if you want," Michele said. Her tone had softened by then. "I'll make up the guest room." She smiled at Kenny. "I'll take care of him. Don't worry."
Cadin said, "It might be a good idea, Evan. We'll make a pot of coffee and talk for a while."
Evan walked over to them and hugged them both. He kissed them on the cheek and looked over his shoulder at Kenny. He loved his friends, but knew they were part of his problem. He smiled and said, "I think I'd rather go home with my son. I'll be fine. That is if my son still wants to go home with me."