“No.” Char felt tears burning at the backs of her eyes. “It’s not that. It’s just that I feel like I’m living a fairy tale.” She also felt like she didn’t deserve it, any of it.
“Dear Lord, we’re in trouble if Jake is Prince Charming,” Grandma grumbled. “He still has his work cut out for him, starting with that dance you two need to perform, and giving me grandchildren. You are going to give me great-grandchildren, aren’t you?”
Char felt her cheeks heat as she looked away and rocked back on her heels. “Already working on it.”
“That’s my girl.” Grandma patted her hand and then tightened her grip on Char’s wrists. “And don’t you even think about using a condom. I used a needle on every single last one in this house. I expect a baby by spring.”
Mouth agape, Char stared and then felt her cheeks heat. “We’ll, uh, see what we can do.” Only Grandma would think ahead to plan such a thing.
“Good girl.” Grandma stepped back. “I’ve been praying for your womb to be fertile, you know.” She smiled to herself. “Now take off your clothes.” So many wrong words in that sentence that Char fidgeted a bit before turning around so Grandma could unzip the travesty that was her dress.
Once it was off, it dropped to the floor. Char stepped out of it and squinted. The dress was white, her lingerie was black.
“Oh, almost forgot.” Grandma held up her hand and went to a Nordstrom bag on the floor, pulling out a white corset, matching thong, and thigh highs. Good Lord, how did she even know Char’s size?
“Asked Jake.” Grandma offered. “He seemed to know the exact size of your hips, imagine that? And your breasts—well, let’s just say I had to blow my whistle several times before he was able to focus again. That boy is truly distracted too easily. It’s my fault. His grandfather was always a breast man.” Grandma thrust her chest forward a bit. “At any rate, go ahead and put this on and I’ll help you with your dress.”
Char paused. Did Grandma really want her to get naked?
“If you go any slower I may be dead before I see my grandchildren. Believe me, you don’t possess anything I’ve never seen before. Well, maybe I haven’t seen it in a while; my mirror points south a bit these days.”
Laughing, Char took the lingerie from Grandma and put it on the bed, then stripped down to what God gave her.
Grandma sighed.
“What?” Char paused as she grabbed the corset.
“Nothing.” Grandma waved. “It’s just that, I don’t believe Jake will make it through the ceremony. Don’t you dare allow him to ravish you early, Char! You hear me? God frowns on those things.”
“Uh.” Char put on the corset. “What? Married people ravishing each other?”
“ ’Course not.” Grandma gave her a scolding look. “God just don’t like to see pretty things go to waste is all, and you my dear, will be spectacular. So, let him take his fill, before you give him his drink, you understand?”
Char’s grin was huge. “Completely.”
Grandma grunted.
Ten minutes later, Char was dressed in the most beautiful silk gown she’d ever seen in her entire life. Grandma hadn’t stopped at the lingerie. Nope, she’d also bought Char tall crystal heels that made Char look like a supermodel. Bless Grandma’s manipulative little heart.
Char turned and examined herself in the mirror.
Grandma stood behind her beaming. “Give him hell.”
Chapter Fifty-eight
Jake took a long sip of his whiskey on the rocks and winced as the liquid poured down his throat. The heat was intense; it didn’t help that he was wearing a black suit, with suspenders. At least his suit wasn’t as bad as Char’s dress. The poor thing had looked miserable when she went off to get dressed with Kacey and the rest of the girls.
He took another slow swallow and grimaced when Jace made his way toward him.
“So.” Jace ordered a tequila shot and downed it with a wince. “How are things?”
“Ah, small talk.” Jake laughed. “Great. How’s your eye?”
“It feels like hell, thanks.” Jace shook his head.
Jake looked beyond him for Char. Where was she? They were supposed to meet a half hour ago. He grabbed Travis’s arm as he walked by. “Have you seen my wife?”
“Nope.” Travis shrugged and then laughed. “Wife, Shit, I never thought I’d see the day.”
Petunia walked by just as Travis cursed, earning him a smack in the back of the head and a scolding. He put his arm around Petunia, apologized, and ordered two shots of whiskey behind her back. Ah, it seemed all the apples from Grandma’s tree were firmly planted side by side.