The Wager(66)
“I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Pull up the pant leg. Let me see it.” He pointed down at her leg. “If you don’t let me see it I’m announcing it in the local church bulletin.”
Grandma gasped. “You wouldn’t dare!”
“He would,” Char said. “Believe me, his apple definitely fell from your tree.”
Grandma smiled. “That’s my boy.”
“Up.” Jake motioned, ignoring the compliment.
“Fine.” Grandma pulled up her pant leg. The tattoo was really colorful; in fact it would’ve been a really pretty tattoo if the woman in the hula skirt wasn’t naked.
“Sailor Jerry,” Jake guessed.
At Char’s gasp Grandma said, “It’s a classic! Why, we had these around war time!”
“Naked is still naked, war or no war,” Jake said.
“Topless,” Grandma shrugged, “is not naked. It’s not as if I have the girls—”
“And you’re done talking,” Jake interrupted. “So what do we do? Char and I have to plan this joint party you’ve suddenly come up with out of nowhere and you don’t want anything to do with Petunia.”
With a dramatic sigh, Grandma got out of the car. “Fine, I’ll play nice. Just don’t let that, that, woman, near me!”
“Grandma.” Jake kissed her hand. “I knew we’d see eye to eye.”
“Rogue.” She winked. “You always were my favorite.”
“Funny; I heard you say the same thing to Travis not so long ago.”
She waved him off. “Yes, well, right now he’s on my shit list.”
Char burst into laughter behind them.
Grandma peered around Jake. “I know, I said ‘shit’, but it’s true. He’s been sneaking out of his room! Not to mention he’s terrible at it. He’ll thank me after the wedding night; that is if he doesn’t die first. But if he does at least he’ll die pure rather than as a sinner.”
“I think he and Kacey have already—”
“Shh, all right. I’m off to search for the vodka. I’m going to need strong spirits if I have to breathe the same air as Petunia the Prude.”
Char got out of the car and followed them. “Grandma, it’s like ten in the morning.”
“Dear.” Grandma turned and faced Char. “When you’re eighty-six and you’ve lived a long, full, and happy life, the last thing you pay attention to is the time. So it’s ten in the morning? It’s five o’clock somewhere!” With that, she waltzed off.
“Hmm,” Char said.
“What?” Jake looped his arm in hers.
“I’m trying to figure out what I’m more concerned about.”
“Huh?” Jake stopped walking.
“Grandma listening to Jimmy Buffett or the fact that she’s drinking nine hours before the pleasure party.”
“Her costume may be a lamp shade,” Jake agreed. “But you heard the woman, and what she says is law.”
“So maybe being eighty-six won’t be so bad.” Char laughed.
“Live by her rules.” He pointed to the kitchen where Grandma was pouring herself a healthy drink. “And I’m sure it won’t be.”
Chapter Forty
“Open the door, Char. It can’t be that bad.” Jake knocked for the tenth time and waited. Char swore on the other end. “Char? I’m waiting. We’re the hosts of the pleasure party.”
“Don’t say it like that.” She said from the other side of the door.
“How do you want me to say it?”
With a groan, she pulled open the door. “Don’t laugh.”
Laugh? Was she insane? She looked like a hotter version of Britney Spears, before the crazy. Her long chestnut hair was straightened and hung past her breasts. She had on a leather hat that matched her short leather dress. She put her hands on her hips; they were covered with lace gloves.
“Get in the bathroom,” he growled.
Char’s eyes widened as she backed up.
Jake kicked the door closed just as his mouth found hers. He lifted her onto the counter and she wrapped her legs around his waist.
“Damn, you look good.” He kissed her exposed neck. She tilted her head back and let out a soft feminine sigh as her fingers dug into his back.
“It’s time!” Someone banged on the door.
“No it’s not,” Jake argued, not taking his lips from Char’s neck.
“Oh, but it is.” The door burst open, revealing the lady from the store. “Trying out some products, I see? The costumes do it every time.”
Jake jerked away from Char and cursed, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.