I’ve always been a forward person, but I’ve never touched a man so intimately before, nor had I wanted to. Maybe I was just thankful that he saved me from Nico tonight. No, that can’t be it. Sam has saved me before, and I’ve never once had any feelings for him beyond sisterly affection.
I just felt so safe with him tonight. When I saw him at the Palms, and saw the look on his face, I knew he wouldn’t let anything happen to me. I may not be out of Nico’s hands yet, but I have shelter with Bray for now—a man I’m not sure how to handle. He’s different. Something about him draws me in. He brings out feelings I’ve never had before.
I’ve thought boys were cute before, but I’ve never wanted more. Bray makes me crave more. The only other time I wanted more was when I wanted a family. When I tried to fit in but failed. But sometimes Bray looks at me and I see hunger. Could he want me as I am or would he want to change me? Would I have to change who I am to fit him?
When he pulled me out of club, I was terrified. I’m not sure how he found me there, but thank God he did. I went looking for Sam. Pissed at Bray for never showing up for the dinner I made him, and even more pissed that I cared. When I got there I couldn’t find Sam, and it wasn’t long before Nico was on me. Normally he just makes snide remarks, but tonight he held nothing back. He was making demands that made my skin crawl. Saying Sam owed him a lot of money but he was willing to let me work it off for him. That I didn’t have to worry, he’d be the only one who would get to use me. Like that was a fucking bonus or something.
Thinking about it again makes me want to vomit. But if Nico doesn’t get what he wants, he made it very clear what would happen to Sam.
I go to the master bathroom and wash the remnants of Bray off my hand. I can’t believe how fast he came. I may be a virgin, but I’m not naïve about sex. A few of the girls I’m friends with at the shelter sell themselves for money. Hell, I’ve thought about stripping before, I just always thought I might be a little too chubby to get a job doing it.
I look in the mirror and notice my eyes are bloodshot and swollen from crying, and my brain feels fried from everything bouncing around in it. What am I going to do about Nico? Where the hell is Sam? I feel almost defeated. Stripping off my clothes, down to just my underwear, I wash my face and make my way back into the bedroom.
I took over Bray’s room to get a rise out of him, but I would be lying to myself if I said that was the only reason. I want to be in that bed with him. I’ve wanted him from the moment he walked into the coffee shop and looked at me like he wanted me. The man in the fancy suit wanting the girl who looked like she belonged on the other side of town, which I did.
But more than anything, after what happened tonight, I want to feel safe. And I felt utterly safe when I laid my head on Bray tonight. Did he sleep in the guest room last night too? He came home so late and was gone before I woke. I can’t fix anything with Nico and Sam tonight, but I can get that feeling of safety back. It’s just across the hall.
Before I change my mind, I head for the guest room. When I slowly open the door, I can make out a form in the bed. I slip in and shut the door behind me, and crawl onto the bed.
“Bray,” I whisper. But he doesn’t respond or move. Gliding under the covers, I can feel he’s on his back and he’s only wearing underwear. I press into him, my warm body to his, but I want to be closer. Sliding my leg so my inner thigh rests on his hard stomach, I wrap one arm around him and bury my face in the side of his neck. He still hasn’t moved.
I can’t help but breathe him in. The smell of him mixed with the smell of vanilla. A giggle slips from my lips at the thought of him smelling like vanilla. Did he always smell like that, I wonder, or is it something new he used? Does he taste like it too?
Licking my lips, I press them to him, but it isn’t enough. Tentatively I slip my tongue out from between my lips. The moment my tongue touches his neck, I feel his body go solid, and a groan escapes him. Smiling against his neck I whisper, “Are you pretending to be asleep on me?”
”I don’t think anyone could sleep with you pressed against them,” he says, but it sounds like he’s speaking through gritted teeth. Is he mad I’m in here? Surely if he wanted me to leave he would tell me or ask me to leave.
“Does that mean you didn’t sleep with me last night?”
“If you’re asking if I climbed into bed with you last night and wrapped myself around you the answer is no, that’s highly inappropriate.”
“You think I’m inappropriate?” I ask, grabbing on to his earlobe with my teeth and giving a little bite.