She met him at the front door, and as he stepped inside, he avoided her eyes.
“Hey,” she said. “This is a surprise.”
“Yeah.” He cleared his throat. “I didn’t think this should be over the phone.”
Her heart dropped. “Oh. Okay.”
He took off his baseball cap, keeping his eyes down as he scratched the back of his neck.
She shifted her weight. “How did last night go?”
“Good.” Matt smiled but didn’t meet her gaze. “We had a really great time.”
Dara raised her eyebrows. “But…?”
He gulped.
Her heart sank deeper. It didn’t take a genius to see where this was going. She moistened her lips. “Matt, just tell me whatever you need to tell me.” Her throat tightened a bit as she added, “It’s me. Say whatever’s on your mind, and we’ll fill in the details if we need to.”
He winced. The harder it was for him to speak, the more she dreaded what she was pretty sure he was going to say.
She was a breath away from just coming out and asking him if he wanted to stop what they were doing, but he finally started talking.
Matt kept his gaze down. “Look, I appreciate everything you’ve done for me lately. Helping me get some confidence was…”
“Glad to help.”
He finally looked at her, and the faintest smile flickered across his lips, but then it was gone. “I, uh… I can’t keep doing this.”
She’d known the words were coming, but they still hit her in the chest. “Okay. I understand.”
Matt searched her eyes, uncertainty etched all over his forehead and the slightest twist of his lips.
Resisting the temptation to reach for his hand, she forced a smile. “This was what we agreed on, remember? It’s okay.”
“But you’re…” He chewed his lip.
“Well, you don’t expect me to be thrilled, do you?” She laughed, but it sounded even less real than it felt, so she sobered. “Look, it was fun. Of course I’m going to be a little bummed that it’s over. But it’ll be fine.” She managed a smile. “And I really hope things work out with her.”
Matt hesitated, but then he smiled a little too. “Thanks. We’ll, uh, see how it goes. It’s only one date so far.”
“Gotta start somewhere.”
“Yeah.” He held her gaze. Then he came closer and hugged her gently. “Thank you, Dara. For everything.”
“You’re welcome.” She held him tighter, and his gentle embrace became a tighter one too. Forcing her voice to stay even, she said, “She’d better be good to you, or I’ll kick her ass.”
He laughed, stroking her hair. “You and Beth.”
“Yep. There won’t be anything left of her.”
Matt chuckled, and then he let her go. “I guess…I guess I could’ve just called or…” He shook his head. “I don’t know. This seemed like something to talk about face-to-face.”
Dara nodded. Over the phone would’ve been easier. She wouldn’t have had to keep a stoic face, or compose herself while the bastard hugged her. It wasn’t like this was a big shock. This was what they’d wanted, after all, for him to connect with another woman and start working toward the kind of relationship he’d been missing out on all these years. Of course, what they’d had had been the kind of sex Dara had been missing for too long. Who knew it would be such a novelty for a man to take his time and actually want her to enjoy herself?
He cleared his throat. “I should, um, get going.”
Dara wanted him to stay, but she nodded. It was probably for the best. He hugged her once more—dammit, Matt, do you know how hard you’re making this?—and then he left.
Leaning against the door, she closed her eyes, listening to first his footsteps and then the truck’s engine fading into the distance. Now that he couldn’t see her anymore, her composure was cracking, and she swore under her breath. Why the hell was she so upset about all this? She’d known from the get-go that everything they were doing had been temporary. Scratching an itch for her, getting some experience for him. Of course the end would be disappointing.
She just hadn’t expected it to hurt like this.
Hormones. Had to be the fucking hormones. She didn’t feel all that volatile these days—she certainly hadn’t broken down crying at the grocery store over a cracked egg like a friend had one time—but that was the only explanation. As her eyes stung and the tears started coming faster than she could wipe them away, she told herself it had to be the damned hormones. A good cry, maybe a little bit of Ben & Jerry’s and a trip to one of those sex-toy shops in Goldmount, and she’d be fine.