Presently, when they had eaten, they gathered outside, each man carrying his war gear. A little knot of servants and artisans gathered to watch, among them Ethelwald and Ceadda. The carpenter surveyed the proceedings gloomily.
‘Lord Wulfgar will be missed.’
Ethelwald nodded. ‘No doubt, and not just by my lady, either. Folk hereabouts have found him a pleasant change from her first husband.’
‘So has she, I warrant you.’
‘You know it was he who oversaw the rebuilding of the houses that were burned?’
‘Aye,’ said Ceadda. ‘Torstein wouldn’t have done it, not in a month of Sundays.’
‘No, but then fate doesn’t always make the right men lords, does it?’
Wulfgar led Anwyn aside and then, when they were far enough from the rest to not be overheard, turned towards her, taking her shoulders in a gentle clasp.
‘It is time.’
‘Yes.’
There was so much he wanted to say, but it resolved itself into a simple truth. ‘I shall miss you, Anwyn.’
But not enough, she thought. The knowledge caused a flicker of something like resentment. She forced it down.
‘And I you, my lord. I will pray for your safe return.’
‘I shall return.’ He paused. ‘My home is here.’
‘Is it?’
‘Can you doubt it? I little thought when first I came that it would be so hard to leave.’
The words jarred, and with that the hurt she had so long suppressed mutated into something very much like anger.
‘How glibly you say that, Wulfgar.’
He stared at her, completely taken aback. ‘How is it glib?’
‘If this was home, if you truly cared for Eyvind and for me, then you wouldn’t leave.’
‘You always knew it was going to happen, Anwyn.’
‘And so that exonerates you now.’
‘I have never deceived you.’
‘No, you deceive yourself.’
‘What is this about?’ he demanded.
‘You know full well. All this high-flown talk about your duty to your ship and your crew is no more than the excuse you hide behind.’
‘Hide? From what?’
‘From commitment.’
‘I have met my commitment to Drakensburgh.’ He frowned. ‘It is ably defended.’
Her gaze locked with his. ‘You continue to duck the issue, don’t you?’
‘What issue?’
‘The same one you ducked when you left Freya and Toki.’
Wulfgar paled. ‘You know nothing about it.’
‘Oh, I think I do,’ she retorted. ‘What excuses did you fob them off with?’
‘Stop this now, Anwyn.’
‘Why, Wulfgar? Does the truth hurt?’
‘Their loss has never stopped hurting, if that makes you feel any better.’
‘What hurts is your guilt,’ she accused. ‘You avoided the emotional commitment they represented in the name of some dubious adventure.’
‘And I have had leisure to repent of it.’
‘Yet you’re about to do it all again.’
He drew in a sharp breath. ‘That’s not the reason I have to go.’
‘Isn’t it? Isn’t the real reason that you’re terrified of the alternative?’ She glared at him. ‘Because then you’d have to give all of yourself, not just a few emotional sops now and again to ease your conscience.’
His face went a shade whiter, but before he could reply Hermund called across the intervening space.
‘We need to go now, my lord, if we are to catch the tide.’
Wulfgar turned his head. ‘I’m coming.’
The men began to move towards the gate. He looked at Anwyn and for the space of several heartbeats neither one spoke. Then she glanced at the others.
‘You’d better go. You won’t want to miss the tide.’
‘I don’t wish us to part like this.’
‘Just go.’
A muscle jumped in his cheek. ‘Farewell then, Anwyn.’
‘Goodbye, Wulfgar.’
Sick at heart, she watched him turn away and rejoin his men, mastering the urge to call him back. He would not come in any case. Even if he had not been eager to leave before, her words would have driven him away. She had meant to control her feelings, but in the end all her good intentions had counted for nothing. Now she had alienated him completely. Most likely he would never return and she had only herself to blame.
Once she saw him look back in her direction, but he did not smile and made no sign of acknowledgement. Unbidden, water welled in her eyes. Through blurred vision she watched as the whole contingent moved away towards the gate, joined by the miscellaneous group of spectators who had temporarily abandoned their work to see them off. It was not an everyday occurrence and Anwyn knew that many of them would walk as far as the bay to watch the Sea Wolf sail. She ran to the palisade and up the wooden stair to the rampart, watching the long procession file out. Among the crowd she glimpsed Eyvind and Ina. The child looked back and, locating her, waved. She acknowledged it. Then he turned away and the host marched on. Anwyn’s gaze found the tall figure at its head and rested there.
‘Goodbye, my love,’ she murmured. ‘May you fare well.’
The host had long disappeared from view before she left the rampart.
Wulfgar had no recollection of the march to the ship, nor did he speak to anyone on the way. His mind was preoccupied with his parting conversation with Anwyn. Her attack had been so sudden and unexpected that it left him feeling strangely shaken. When the initial shock had worn off what replaced it was sadness and then anger. It really wasn’t how he had wanted them to part, but he was not to blame there. She had chosen the method.
He watched as his men began to stow their gear aboard the Sea Wolf and then turned to Eyvind who, with Ina, had been following the proceedings closely. The child regarded him with solemn eyes.
‘Can I come with you?’
‘No,’ replied Wulfgar. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘When I’m older can I?’
‘When you’re older.’
Eyvind swallowed hard. ‘You will come back for me?’
‘I’ll come back. In the meantime I shall expect you to practise your sword craft and listen carefully to what Ina tells you.’
‘I will. I promise.’
‘Good.’ Wulfgar paused. ‘Since you have learned more about weapons you are ready to have this.’
He reached into his sleeve and drew out a small knife, a beautifully crafted miniature replica of his own dagger, in a leather sheath. Eyvind stared at the knife and then darted a quizzical glance at the man who held it.
Wulfgar nodded. ‘Take it.’
Cautiously, as though afraid it might vanish on the instant, the boy reached out his hand and closed it round the hilt. Then he drew the blade from the sheath and gasped, examining it with shining eyes.
‘It’s a beauty! Is it really for me?’
‘Aye, it is. I had the smith make it for you. The blade is sharp so have a care.’
Eyvind looked up at him, his cheeks pink with pleasure. ‘Thank you, Father. It’s wonderful.’
Wulfgar stared at him and then glanced over his head at Ina. However, the old warrior’s face was expressionless. Apparently unaware of his verbal slip, the child made a couple of experimental passes with the knife, admiring the effect of light on the polished metal. Then he carefully sheathed it.
‘Will you help me fasten it on my belt?’
Wulfgar cleared his throat. ‘Of course I will.’
He waited while the child removed the little wooden sword and handed it to Ina for safekeeping. Then, going down on one knee so that he was at the child’s height, he unlatched the small belt, sliding it through the loops on the back of the sheath and then refastening the buckle. Eyvind squinted down, admiring the effect.
‘It looks well.’
Wulfgar nodded. ‘It does.’
‘I shall wear it always.’ Eyvind looked at their companion. ‘See, Ina. Isn’t it fine?’
‘Very fine,’ the old warrior agreed. ‘It is a generous gift. You are fortunate.’
‘Now we can both protect Drakensburgh, can’t we?’
‘That we can, my boy.’
Eyvind retrieved his wooden sword and offered it, hilt first, to Wulfgar. ‘This is for you, so you won’t forget your promise to come back.’
Wulfgar took the offering and tucked it into his own belt. Somehow he managed a smile. ‘I won’t forget.’
Before he could say more a voice hailed him from across the sand.
‘We’re ready when you are, my lord.’
‘Coming.’ Wulfgar briefly clasped Eyvind’s shoulder, and then nodded to Ina. ‘Fare you well.’
Then he turned and strode away down the strand to the waiting ship.
The old man and the boy watched as the crew climbed aboard. Then the oars dipped and rose and the Sea Wolf began to turn, heading away down the coast. As she grew smaller the groups of spectators turned away and began to head back towards Drakensburgh. Having taken one last look at the departing ship, Ina and Eyvind set off after them. No one noticed the group of mounted warriors forming up on the far side of the heath.