The Veranchetti Marriage(31)

“I didn’t mean to shout,” she answered shakily.

His hand lifted to touch a strand of her gleaming hair. “I’m not fussy,” he muttered hoarsely. “Did you mean it?”

“Yes.” She watched him breathe again, watched a gleam of vitality spark in his dulled eyes.

“And I have to be drunk.” Red washed his sallow complexion. He backed towards the door. “I need a shower…I need a coffee. Don’t go away.”

She wiped her eyes as he left the room. She had seen in his face what no counterfeiter could have copied. The same pain, the same fear, the same loneliness, and she was ridiculously tempted to sit down and have a good cry. If he had left her, it had not been because he wanted to leave her. It was almost an hour before he reappeared. Either a miracle potion or simple shock had sobered him up. Shaven, his long, straight legs encased in tight jeans matched to a clean white shirt, he looked like Alex again, only not quite so confident as was his wont. He strode out of the bathroom impatiently, and then wheeled round in surprise to find her seated on the end of his bed.

“I thought you’d got lost,” she said, hot-cheeked.

“And I thought you were with Steven,” he drawled tautly.

She told him quietly what she had told Athene earlier in the day.

“He cares for someone else? How is this possible?”

“They’ve known each other since they were teenagers, and sometimes they don’t see each other for months on end. He’s a friend,” she hesitated, “I wouldn’t have been attracted to him in any other way, in any case; he can be a real pain…”

His strained mouth curved helplessly with humour. “A pain…all I saw were those golden looks of his…for months.” His smile ebbed with discomfiture.

“I saw that photo. You must have spied on me. Why?”

“Is there always a sane explanation for the things we do?” he countered tautly. “I told myself that I had a right to know what you were doing when you had my son. But when you began to go out socially with Steven, I couldn’t bear it and who knows what goes on behind closed doors? I was afraid you might marry him. Then, when I saw you again, everything I had spent years denying came alive again. For a few days, I was like a man possessed. I didn’t care what I had to do to get you back, I didn’t even ask myself why I was doing it.”

A tender smile softened her lips. “You’re forgiven. If you hadn’t used pressure, we wouldn’t be here together now.”

The topaz eyes narrowed. “How can you say that? Per Dio…I behaved like the savage you said I was.”

“I love you, Alex.”

He moved closer, his dark features clenched taut. “I realised that I still loved you the first time we made love again, but I believed that you cared for Steven. At best you seemed to tolerate me, and then after that incident on the beach, you were cold in my arms. I had even killed that,” he emphasised with hard self-derision.

“I was upset, frightened by your jealousy,” she argued warily, wondering why he had yet to put his arms around her.

“I know.” In shamed acknowledgement, he looked at her guiltily. “But I still could not have let you go. I couldn’t face losing you. In the end, I was even relieved that you were pregnant. It was another way of holding on to you. It didn’t matter that I couldn’t make love to you any more, it didn’t matter to me that you cared, as I thought, for another man. I still had you, and that was sufficient. When they came to me and told me the truth, everything came apart…” His hand sketched a movement of defeat. “Before, I believed I had rights, and I made excuses for myself. When I couldn’t any more, all I could do was let you go, and it was hardly enough in the circumstances.”

Her patience was wearing thin. Did he plan to stand here for the rest of the night, unsmilingly endeavouring to persuade her that he was an undeserving cause? She could have walked on water after seeing the love in Alex when he was too low to work at concealment. Now she did something far less dangerous. She closed the distance he was carefully maintaining from her. Her hands cupped his hard cheekbones, her green eyes clinging to his. “I didn’t want to be let go. I love you. But I wasn’t going to beg you to stay.”

The dark gaze positively shimmered. “But…”

“No buts.” Her fingertip brushed his tense lower lip softly.

He searched her face torturously and then, with a groan, he locked her tightly to him. He trembled against her, and Kerry hugged him close as he buried his face in her hair, his voice muffled and gruff. “Do you know what it was like to have to leave you? I hope you know what you are doing now. I could not leave again.”

For a long time he kept her imprisoned in his arms, and when he moved it was to back her down on to the bed with a husky sigh about the convenience of the setting she had chosen. “I should tell you something,” he confided then, abruptly. “There has never been another woman.”

Her lashes flew up in bemusement. “I don’t think I…”

His dark visage split with sudden amusement, the momentary and rare embarrassment she had seen there dissipating. “I had this…er…complication.” His fingers toyed with the buttons on her blouse as he loosed them one by one. “Every time I got that close to a woman, I would always think of you, and the desire…it would recede. Didn’t you notice how desperate I was that night in London? Four years is a very long time to feel that you are only half a man because you do not want to admit that you are still in love with your ex-wife.”

A slow and beatific smile was building on her lips.

Alex grinned. “It was not very funny.”

“Serves you right.” Her hand roamed possessively over the hard thrust of his thighs evident beneath the tight jeans. As she realised what she was doing, she blushed, and his golden eyes clung to her adoringly.

“Yes, it served me right.” He rolled her back into his embrace. “But I wasn’t sorry when I got you back. We always belonged only to each other. I need very badly to remind myself of that now,” he whispered raggedly, and branded her mouth with the fever of the fierce, raw hunger that spoke for itself.



“WHAT MADE YOU come to me?” he prompted when she was still languorous with the exquisite release of their lovemaking.

She hid her expression against his shoulder, and her arms tightened convulsively round him. “Athene visited me.”

He tensed, his dark, dishevelled head lifting up.

“Yes,” she confirmed. “She told me, and it hurt her to tell me. She loves you very much, Alex.”

His breath escaped in a hiss. “She didn’t love my father, did she admit that? He adored her. I could never bear to watch him dance attention on her after that day. I was afraid ever to be like that with a woman…yes, it influenced me when we were first married, how could it not? I could never accept that you could love me as I loved you,” he completed roughly.

“But I do,” she stressed, smoothing his cheek gently. “And loving me isn’t a weakness, Alex.”

Hard fingers caught her chin, a rueful smile slanting his lips. “But I am weak with you. My life is hell without you; how could it be otherwise? All those years wasted because I was too proud to come to you…what a bloody fool I was!” he swore fiercely. “Nothing was worth what we both went through apart. So much unhappiness, so many mistakes.”

Her heart leapt in her throat as he looked at her. The dark-fringed golden eyes were unguarded, nakedly vulnerable for a split second as he wrapped her firmly against him again. “But this time I will love you always, no matter what the future brings. Perhaps I will never have the words to express how much you mean to me,” he sighed regretfully.

“I don’t know. Superhusband wasn’t doing too badly on actions,” she teased. “I was very slow on the uptake.”

“Super…husband?” Alex growled.

She grinned. “All that boundless bonhomie…”

A reflective smile removed his frown. “It wasn’t easy. I was hoping to convert you from Steven. But patience…it is not my strong point. I don’t know how I kept my hands from you; it was a torture to do so.” The husky confession was feelingly reminiscent of the deprivation he had endured, and already his natural assurance was reasserting its sway. “Never again.”

She rested back invitingly. “I second that.”

“Why is it that you always have the last word?” But he won silence by his own nefarious means, and laughter shook her slightly before she gave herself up, without a care in the world, to Alex’s mastery.





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