She sagged. The but had not contained the tripwire she feared. Silence fell. She was in the trancelike hold of astonishment. Alex had opened the door of her gilded cage.
He expelled his breath. “I know you like to be busy. You have so much energy. When the house is finished, Nicky at school, what would you do with yourself? I suggest you hire a manager so that you are not too tied to the business, but that is up to you.”
She wanted to cry. When Athene heard about this, she would think her son had gone crazy. “You thought about this in Greece?”
“I know how bored you were before at home. You needed more stimulus. This time I want you to be content in our marriage, and here you will have your own challenge, you will…”
“Alex, it’s the most wonderful thing anybody’s ever done for me!” she interrupted extravagantly. In buying her this business, Alex had overcome his need to lock her up. She could see in his dark, set features that he was still questioning his own decision and was somewhat ambivalent about his own generosity. But what mattered was that he had done it for her despite his own fear of giving her this amount of freedom. She reached for his hand uncertainly. “You won’t ever have cause to regret this.”
His ebony brows pleated. “I have to trust you. You were right when you said that. The problem was mine,” he stated tautly. “That day on the island, I shocked myself. It will never happen again. I promise you that.”
Her bronze lashes veiled her stinging eyes. How like Alex it was to force himself into the very opposite of what he wanted when he realised that he was behaving unreasonably. She could have applauded his determination on a much less extreme show of trust than this, and suddenly she could see hope for them both, without Vickie or Jeff. Surely it was possible that, when Alex had dealt with his own gremlins, he would come back to her in every way?
Five days later, Alex flew to Rome. He was due home for the weekend, but the afternoon passed without his appearance. Early evening, Kerry was perched on the window seat in the salon, wondering why he hadn’t phoned, when a little yellow Fiat came bowling noisily down the driveway. A tall blond man extracted himself awkwardly from the driver’s side and straightened. Vickie strolled round the bonnet and grasped his hand. Kerry froze. They had actually come. A minute later, Lucrezia showed them in.
“Alex is in Rome, he isn’t back yet,” was the first thing Kerry said.
In the uneasy stasis, Jeff stuck out his hand, a dull flush of red lying along his broad cheekbones, his other arm planted round her strained sister. “I don’t expect you to like me, but I’m four years older and wiser now,” he said wryly.
“I guess you’ve been wondering what was going on,” Vickie said very quietly. “Jeff never knew that you and Alex split up that day. I don’t want you to feel he’s equally to blame. It was over two years before we ran into each other again. I started seeing Jeff, but I had to keep quiet about it. I couldn’t take him home, I couldn’t tell you about him. It was poetic justice, I suppose. I was caught in my own trap.”
“I had absolutely no idea why Vickie was holding me at bay. If I had done, believe me, I wouldn’t have let it lie,” he stressed levelly.
“The day you left me…I was upset,” Vickie muttered. “I phoned Jeff and I told him everything.”
“And I flew off half-cocked to Athens, without really thinking the whole thing through. Your reaction when I called made me appreciate that it was going to take more than a few words,” Jeff admitted.
Vickie took a seat stiffly, still watching Kerry’s anxious face. “As you’ve probably guessed, I refused to come initially. I’m not proud of that. It was unforgivable. I don’t win any badges for courage. I couldn’t have done it without Jeff’s support. I did love Alex, Kerry,” she faltered and looked up at the man by her side. “But never the way I love Jeff. I’m glad it’s over, you have no idea what a relief it is…”
Jeff cleared his throat impatiently. “I think right now Kerry has to be more interested in hearing that we’ve seen Alex.”
“You’ve seen him,” Kerry echoed. “But how?”
“I thought it would be wiser if we saw your husband at his office, and didn’t involve you until we saw how it was going to go,” Jeff supplied.
Kerry shut her eyes, rocked off balance to learn that the deed had already been done. “What did he say?”
“It was…ghastly,” her sister said shakily. “He went all quiet. It was like the whole thing just suddenly sunk in on him. One minute he was raging, the next he sat down.”
“But did he believe you?” Kerry pressed in exasperation.
Jeff drove his fingers through his untidy hair ruefully. “Oh, I think he believed us all right. I’m not sure he would have if we hadn’t both been there, though.”
“You said he went quiet? Pleased quiet? Angry quiet?” Kerry prompted in desperation.
“He was appalled…stunned,” Vickie answered reluctantly.
“But he hasn’t come home.”
“He does have a lot to think about.” Her sister looked at her guiltily, unhappily. “He divorced you. Finding out the truth now, when it’s too late to really do anything about it…” Vickie hesitated. “You see, I never thought about how it was going to be for him. Telling him the truth wasn’t really giving him anything to celebrate. That’s the best way I could put it…”
Kerry viewed her in blank incomprehension. Alex ought to have been jetting home in haste to…to what? Fling himself at her feet and apologise? Like Vickie, she had never thought beyond the moment when Alex would know the true story. She had never questioned how Alex might react.
“I think it’s time we left,” Jeff said bluntly. “We’re booked into a hotel, and the last thing Alex needs is to find us plonked here when he does come back.”
“Do you think if we held off getting married for a few months, you and Alex would come?” Vickie whispered uncertainly.
“Frankly, I think your sister has got more on her mind right now.” Jeff’s tone was dry and Vickie reddened.
Kerry gave way to her sister’s red-rimmed eyes and gave her a brief hug. The ice was broken, but she still could not have looked Vickie in the eye and told her that she completely forgave her. The cost had been too high. She managed to smile as she saw them off. It was difficult. Alex’s delayed return was worrying her increasingly. She phoned the family house in Rome to speak to Mario, who was presently working as one of Alex’s aides. She learnt that Alex had left the office before lunch time. By the time she got off the phone, she regretted calling. Athene had come on to the line to ask if there was anything wrong.
At two in the morning, she finally went to bed, and anxiety had been replaced by anger. How could he do this to her? Didn’t he realise how worried she would be?
CHAPTER TEN
IT WAS NOON the next day before Alex arrived home. He was as sleek and immaculate as ever, but he looked as if he had been up all night. Aside from the faint pallor, the etching of strain round his mouth, Kerry could not have read a single emotion in his shuttered dark gaze. He stared at her and sank down on to a sofa. For a moment his glossy head was bent, and then he lifted it again and the air of vulnerability was gone.
“I should have phoned, but I should imagine that is the least of my sins,” he began.
“Vickie and Jeff came here last night. I know you’ve seen them,” she interposed.
A wintry smile firmed his mouth. “I almost made a derogatory comment about them both, but you have a saying about people in glass houses…” He paused, his bone structure prominent beneath his bronze skin. “I spent the night in the car. I didn’t know what to say to you then. I needed time. Your sister informed me that she had told you the truth before you married me. Why didn’t you tell me?”
The impatience had drained out of her. A curious foreboding was clenching her tight now. “I didn’t think you’d believe me.”
He bit out a harsh laugh and studied his linked hands. “You know me too well. I shouldn’t have asked the question. A more caring and less intimidating husband might have invited confidence. I don’t blame you for keeping quiet. Jeff…it was he who phoned you on the island? You were very happy that day,” he drawled in the same measured, carefully unemotional tone.
“Of course I was…after all this time, I finally saw a hope of it all being cleared up,” she replied.
“It is now.” Releasing his breath slowly, he stared across the room at her. “An apology, no matter how deeply it was meant, would be another insult to the many I have already offered you. In my desire for revenge, I have done you incalculable harm. Nothing I could do or say would make up for the pain I have caused you.”
Her eyes were haunted pools in the ashen pallor of her face. Her fingers curled tightly over the back of the armchair in front of her. She felt sick because she was afraid. If he loved her, there was plenty he could do, but he did not love her. Faced with his own mistrust and misjudgement, all Alex could feel now was the heavy burden on his conscience, the impossibility of finding adequate words to express his regret for all that had happened between them since that day in Venice.