She shakes her head. “You don’t get it, do you?” She draws her hand away. I feel the loss immediately. “They’re not people to you. They’re just… pawns. Just sources of blood for you and your kind.”
“What? That’s not true at all!” I feel a flash of anger go through me. “Why would you accuse me of something like that?”
“Because it’s the way I feel about them now,” she whispers. Even with my enhanced hearing, I can barely make out the words. “I’m fighting it, Raul. I’m fighting it with every bit of strength I possess. But it’s… impossible, in the face of the monster lurking within me.”
Her eyes take a desperately sad, faraway look. “I thought I would come back and help them. Instead, all I can think about is taking their blood.” She shivers. “It scares me.”
I step toward her and put an arm around her shoulders. She resists for a moment… and then melts into me.
I let her put her face into my chest as silent sobs start to rock her body.
“Hey,” I say softly. I tilt her chin up. “Hey. It’ll all be okay. We’ll get you to the castle. I’ll get you your fill of blood from the banks. Once that’s done, you’ll feel better.
She clings onto every word like a drowning woman to a life vest. “Do you promise?”
“I swear it.” I drop my lips and place a kiss on hers. “Now come on. The sooner we get you nourishment, the easier all of this will be.”
Chapter Eleven
ELEIRA
Raul’s assurance takes away some of the guilt I feel as we make our way up through the silent trees toward Morgan’s castle.
Now that I’m transformed, everything about The Haven feels so much different. My eyes are no longer blind to the beauty of the place.
The evergreens are wonderful. They infuse the night air with so much life and prosperity. It’s probably from my enhanced sense of smell, but I don’t think I’ve ever breathed in air this pure before.
When I was here as a human, all I could see was horror, destruction, and death. Now, as a vampire, the night holds new meaning. The very air holds new meaning. This isn’t a graveyard or some place to be reviled.
It’s a beautiful, verdant sanctuary.
The silence is so pervasive. But at the same time, it’s amazing. That a place could house so many people and yet be so quiet astounds me…
Of course it helps when the majority of those people are locked underground.
A pang of guilt takes me. They are there because of me. Their homes were ruined… because of me.
“Raul?” I ask softly. “In the fires you set—how many humans perished?”
He looks around. He takes a long time to reply.
“Those who died in the actual fires? Maybe a dozen.”
A dozen. My gut seizes up.
“And… those who didn’t?” I ask. A bad feeling of apprehension sweeps through me. “What happened to them?”
Raul clears his throat. “Some of the other vampires took advantage of the mayhem to feed,” he says. “I don’t know what Mother has done to them yet. I assume they’ll be persecuted for their crimes. But…”
He trails off.
“But what?” I ask. “Tell me!”
He shakes his head. “You saw how Mother is.” In a softer voice, he adds, “I’m not sure her head is where it was before.”
“So they’re just going to walk free?” I insist. “Without being punished?”
“Not all of them,” Raul says cryptically. “Some have already paid the price.”
“What do you mean?”
But Raul keeps his lips sealed the rest of the way.
We reach the castle. Just before we walk through the doors, I stop and take Raul’s arm.
“Do you think…” I begin. “Do you think your Mother will really make James one of The Convicted?”
Raul sweeps a hand through his fire-red hair. “Truly? I have no way to tell. But I’m going to do all I can to ensure that it doesn’t happen.”
I hesitate, then make up my mind, and say, “If there’s anything I can do to help, you tell me. No matter what James did—nobody deserves a fate like those forsaken creatures.” I think back on the way the mindless horde chased after us. I remember the desperate way they fought each other for the bloodied heart that was thrown into their midst.
I remember the look of utter emptiness in their eyes.
Raul nods. “Thank you. That means a lot. I know what he put you through. Despite that, he’s still my brother.”
“I understand,” I say softly. Even though it pains me to admit, James has Raul’s loyalty. I wouldn’t ever doubt that.