Owen’s eyes narrowed as if he were trying to recall. He scrubbed a hand across his forehead. “Three years ago? At your father’s country house?” he echoed. “Blast it, Alex, I can barely remember what I did last week, let alone three years ago.”
“You saved them from those awful men. You were so kind and thoughtful, and you spoke to me afterwards. Up in the window.” She pressed the handkerchief to her swollen eyes. “Father always said a man’s actions speak louder than his words. I believed that … about you.”
She could tell the moment Owen remembered. He raised his head and searched her face again, but his features had softened. “That was you?”
“Yes.” She nodded, blotting at her tears with his handkerchief. “That was me.”
“What did I say?” he asked.
“You asked me not to tell anyone what you did. You said it would ruin your blackened reputation.”
He smiled at that.
“And you said someone as lovely and spirited as I was shouldn’t be cooped up in a bedchamber with such a delightful party going on,” she continued.
His throat worked as he swallowed. “I offered to dance with you.”
“Yes. And I knew then that you couldn’t ever marry anyone else but me. I was devastated when I overheard Mother and Father talking about how you intended to marry Lavinia. I thought I had many more years to make you notice me.”
He moved closer and lifted her chin with his thumb. “It was not my choice to become betrothed to Lavinia,” he said quietly.
“I know that, just as I know you and Lavinia wouldn’t suit. Lavinia wants a refined gentleman, someone who will write her poetry and do her bidding.”
He snorted. “So the poetry part was true, at least?”
“Yes, that part was true.”
“Any of the rest of it?” he asked.
“No.” She shook her head and pulled away from him, plucking at the leaves of the hedge.
“The horses?” he asked.
“Lavinia adores them.”
“The gambling?”
“She detests it.”
“The cursing?”
“Also not a favorite of hers.”
“I suppose I don’t even have to ask about the rock.”
Alex’s shoulders lifted and settled. “She much prefers flowers.”
“Damn it, Alex. Why did you do all this? Why did you go to so much trouble?”
She turned back to him. The tears continued to flow down her cheeks, and the hand that held the handkerchief fell uselessly to her side. “Because I love you, Owen. Don’t you see? I’ve loved you since that night three years ago. You’ve always had a reputation for being a scoundrel, but that night I saw you for what you truly were—a gentleman. A kind, sweet gentleman.”
His face grew hard. “I’m nothing of the sort. You’re only seeing me the way you wish I were. The truth is that I gamble, I curse, I treat women with nary a thought. I’m nowhere near good enough for you, Alex. Or your sister, for that matter. For God’s sake, I’ve been using you to try to court Lavinia, whom I don’t love, just to line my own pockets. Don’t you understand? I’m a scoundrel just like everyone says. Just like my father says.”
Alex turned toward him, her feet braced apart, her jaw tightly clenched. “No. You’re not. You’re not a scoundrel, Owen Monroe. I’ve seen you do things. I’ve seen you be kind, loving, thoughtful. I don’t care what your father says about you. I don’t care what anyone else says either. I know the truth. And you are what I think you are. I think you just don’t know it yet.”
He clenched his jaw. “That doesn’t make any sense.”
“I know that a good, decent man lurks beneath your rakehell exterior. You’re not useless. You’re not a scoundrel. You’re not a rogue. Or at least I used to think you weren’t. Now I don’t think I know you. Now I wonder why I ever thought I loved you.”
“Alex, I—”
She pressed the handkerchief hard against her eyes, promising herself she would not allow so much as one more tear to drop. She breathed in deeply from both nostrils and pushed up her chin. “I must go. I promised the next dance to Lord Berkeley.”
“Berkeley can go to the devil,” Owen growled.
“What was that?” Boots scuffled against gravel, and Lord Berkeley himself materialized from the shadows.
“Lord Berkeley, you came?” Alex cried.
Lord Berkeley’s hands were on his hips, and his jaw was clenched, too. “I do hope Monroe hasn’t upset you.”
Alex took one more deep breath and shook her head. “No, he—”