‘It just might be … a bit … You know,’ she said, uncomfortably. She did not want him anywhere near Ryan, she realised. As if Mark might get tainted somehow, stained by her toxic feelings, the poisonous shreds of her past life.
‘Awkward?’ he suggested. Leah shrugged, unable to meet his eye. She suddenly felt horribly guilty, as though she’d been caught cheating.
‘Maybe.’
‘Look, I won’t come in or anything. I’ll just chauffeur you. By the sounds of it, you’ll need a drink when you get there. OK?’
Leah glanced up at him and smiled. ‘OK. Thanks.’
*
‘So, what will you do now?’ Mark asked, as they headed east along the M4 the next day. The journey had been odd and uncomfortable; Leah’s excitement at showing Ryan what she’d found clashing with the strained silences in the car.
‘Go home, I suppose,’ she said. ‘Back to London to start work on my book. I need to speak to my agent – and start touting for a publisher.’ She glanced over at him. Mark nodded, smiled, said nothing. ‘What about you?’ Leah asked.
‘I should think about starting over, I suppose. Get job hunting, stop festering away at Dad’s place. Put it on the market, perhaps.’ His voice betrayed no real enthusiasm at the prospect.
‘Mind if I come back and take some pictures before you do? For my book?’
‘You can come back any time you want, Leah,’ he said gently, and Leah shifted in her seat, fiddling awkwardly with the file of papers in her lap.
‘I hope it won’t affect the asking price – me revealing to the world that a murderer, his adulterous accomplice and a theosophical hoaxer once lived there!’
‘All publicity is good publicity, right?’ Mark laughed. ‘I don’t think it’s very fair to call Hester his adulterous accomplice, mind you.’
‘No, it’s not. Don’t worry – I’ll make sure readers know how much she struggled with it,’ Leah assured him. They drove on in silence, and Leah thought of five different conversations to start, abandoning each one in turn.
‘Here – this is the one,’ she said, leaning forward in her seat with a sudden storm of nerves cramping her stomach. Mark pulled into a smart, wide tarmac driveway flanked by twin five-bar gates. The house was an immaculate neo-Georgian pile, three storeys high, with a long rank of garages topped by a brass weathercock that gleamed in the sunshine.
‘Nice,’ Mark remarked. ‘Not short of a bob or two, then?’
‘Or three, or four,’ Leah agreed, neutrally. She unclipped her seat belt, flicked her hair back behind her shoulders and licked her lips nervously. She drew breath to thank Mark for the lift, but he cut her off.
‘If you want me to pick you up again later …’
‘No, no. It’s fine. It’s a five-minute cab ride to the station, and I’ll head back to The Swing Bridge from there. Thanks so much for bringing me, and for … all your help, Mark. You’ve been fantastic.’
‘Perhaps not quite fantastic enough,’ he said quietly.
Leah swallowed, pretended not to hear the remark, not to understand what he was asking. Her heart was high in her throat.
‘Well, I’ll be back, anyway. Before too long – I’ll need to get into the Newbury police files again, and the newspaper archives …’
‘Sure.’ He looked away, rubbing one hand along his jaw. ‘Look, are you sure you don’t want me to wait for a while? I don’t mind. It might be … a bit difficult in there. With all the family around and everything …’
‘I’m sure it will be. But I’ll be fine, really – don’t wait. I don’t know how long this will take, and I hate to think of you just sitting around, waiting for me …’ Leah flushed, the words suddenly seeming to be about something far more important than a lift back to Berkshire. Mark watched her intently, but Leah could find nothing else to say.
‘If you’re sure,’ he said. Leah leant over and kissed him on the cheek. His skin was warm, slightly rough for want of a shave. The smell of him sent an odd pang into the pit of her stomach. Her pulse was speeding, thoughts confused.
‘Thanks, Mark. I’ll … see you soon.’ She got out of the car before he could speak again. Her chest felt odd, too tight, and the familiar excited dread at seeing Ryan washed through her. Behind her, she heard Mark turn the car around in the driveway and pull back out into the road. The sound made her pause, turn quickly to catch a glimpse of him. With him gone she felt suddenly naked and vulnerable. She halted on the front step, frozen, uncertain.