I yelped at the tiny needles of ice pounding down my back but it did the trick. I was fully awake. Samson was out of town shooting for the next couple of days and time off from Lolita, if only in my wardrobe choices, was welcome. I slid into my modest A-line skirt, thick tights and a pretty pale pink cashmere sweater paired with black boots. At the sight of me as me and not her, my entire body relaxed.
My phone rang as I was shrugging into my coat.
"Those photos gave Mom and Dad a coronary," Ari said, skipping hello.
I laughed. "Document it."
"Way ahead of you. I have a pic of Mom gnashing her teeth that should sustain you for weeks."
"My hero. In case you think my life is all jet set and dazzle, I have a meeting tomorrow that I feel very hopeful about." Checking to make sure I had my keycard, I slung my laptop bag across my chest, and left my room, jogging to catch the elevator that was, for a change, present and open on my floor. "How's Kane?"
"Haven't seen him since the airport run," Ari said.
I crossed the lobby into the restaurant. The mouth-watering breakfast spread of fruit platters and baked goods would normally have tempted me but all my belly room was reserved for sampling every flavor of Trdelnik at the bakery down the road. "If you're being coy, I approve. If you're being stupid, stop right now."
The waiter at the espresso station gave me my to-go latte and I charged it to my hotel room.
"I'm not the one groping famous celebs," my brother said. "Mom and Dad are freaking out that someone is going to recognize their wayward daughter."
Just as I was about to step back into the lobby, I heard Rohan's voice. I pressed back, peeking out at him standing less than ten feet away.
Oh good, he looked like death warmed over: unshaven, red-eyed, kind of nauseous, with his hands bundled into his camel trench coat. A little balloon of joy danced its way through me seeing him in the seventh circle of hangover hell.
Ari continued listing our parents' litany of gripes with me. I only half-listened, busy spying.
Lily walked toward Rohan from where she'd been seated at one of the lobby's sofas, a steaming cup of coffee in her hand which she forced on him. Rohan groaned. She zipped up her coat. "You bitch now, but you'll love me in about twenty minutes."
He opened the lid, sniffing at the brew. "I always love you." He kissed the side of her head.
I gripped my own cup so hard the lid popped off.
"Yeah, yeah," Lily teased. "Me and every other breathing female you want to charm."
"You still there?" my brother asked.
"Sorry, yes." I pulled a tissue out of my pocket to wipe coffee off of my fingers.
"How's it going otherwise?" Ari asked.
"Oh you know. Living the dream." Escaping unnoticed was not an option. Even if it had been, I couldn't stop watching them. Couldn't stop wondering where I fit in the spectrum between "always love you" and "every other breathing female."
Rohan pushed Lily's glasses back up her nose. "That's it. We're getting these tightened so you don't embarrass yourself yet again when a pair slips off your face and breaks."
She nudged him with her shoulder. "One time, buddy. You have the memory of an elephant."
"Only when it comes to your most embarrassing moments."
She laughed. "Those would be the Rohan years."
He pressed his hand to his heart with a gasp.
I needed all my awareness to keep stalking so I cut my brother off mid-sentence. "Ace, I gotta run. Love you."
"Love you, too. Later."
I pressed farther behind the leaves of the plant at the restaurant's entrance, peering out to watch Rohan drink, tracking the line of his neck with every swallow.
"Happy?" he asked Lily.
"Ecstatic," she replied dryly. "Now how about some toast?"
Rohan shuddered. "No food." He shifted from foot-to-foot. "Let's go for a walk."
"Without eating first?" She sighed, stroking his back. "Calm down, Ro."
"Then come with me and calm me down. You're best at that anyway." He turned puppy dog eyes on her and I almost stepped forward offering to help with a frying pan to the head.
"Gawd, you're in giant baby mode," Lily said.
Okay, I wasn't as nice as Lily. That much was clear from the quiet care she took of him: from the extra sugar packets she'd known to hand over without him asking to the resettling of his scarf now as it slipped from his neck.
Poppy would never have engaged in those small considerate gestures, which didn't make me her either, or a groupie. I was trying to prove myself as Rasha. I was my own category.