I punched him in the stomach. Rohan grunted. "That's for not even saying ‘thank you' for saving Lily," I said. "I had third degree burns on my back and had to spend three freaking days in an iron lung!" A total lie but the doctor had given me oxygen. "I didn't even merit ‘a good job, Nava' from you. Your leadership skills suck balls."
I shoved at him, craving a physical target for my anger, but he grabbed my wrist, jerking me up against him. "Thank you, Nava," he growled. "For saving someone so important to me, when I failed to realize she was even in danger. Thank you, Nava, for risking your life when all I did was leave her wide open to be taken by a demon."
He released his hold, the fight going out of him.
I'd never seen the expression on his face before so it took me a minute to figure it out. Shame. With a healthy heap of guilt. Shit. His cousin Asha. What kind of flashback hell had Rohan spent the past few days reliving, believing his failings had caused yet another person he loved to be hurt?
I reached out to place my hand on his cheek, then remembered that gesture wasn't on the approved list anymore and curled my fingers into my palm. "Rohan, if you were to blame for her being there, then I was just as much to blame."
His eyes lit up like I'd thrown him a lifeline. Then he shook his head. "That doesn't make any sense. It wasn't your fault." Truth be told, it was probably more my fault than his. Lily was my gift from Samson after all. It was my lie about being lightning girl that started it. Plus, he'd seen me replaced by her at the concert. The pissed off demon had gifted me with my chance for payback, convinced I'd take it.
However, I'd shared as much as I was going to. "Absolve yourself. I do, and I'm sure Lily does."
I walked over to my doorway and paused, one hand on the wall. "The thing about living in the dark? It doesn't exist without light. That means you can step into that light, if you want. Only you can choose how you live your life, Rohan, just like only I can choose how I live mine."
I was halfway down the hall when I heard his soft, "good luck."
28
I never did enlighten Ari that he might be an only child when this was over. He looked nervous enough to puke, or bolt, as it was. Dressed all in white, as per Dr. Gelman's instructions, he sat on the sofa in our family's living room, drumming his fingers on the modular coffee table. Both our parents were at the university teaching so I'd commandeered the room. It seemed appropriate given this was where his induction ceremony had gone so wrong the first time.
Outwardly, I was the picture of calm as I poured the dirt and water into separate small clay bowls, but his drumming set my teeth on edge. Luckily, right before I concussed my sibling with the decanter, there was a firm knock on the front door. "That's the rabbi. Go help him."
Ari jumped up to answer it.
I ran a critical eye over myself to ensure that I'd properly adhered to the clothing specifications. I wore an ankle-length white cotton skirt and long sleeved white cotton blouse. My feet were bare, my hair was down, and I wore no make-up or jewelry other than my Rasha ring. Gelman had been clear about both the purity of color and fabric for this ceremony. I was to be as natural as possible to ensure nothing could contaminate the ritual. Ari and I being bound was complication enough.
My brother returned a moment later, leading Rabbi Abrams into the room.
"Rabbi, where are all the ritual items?" He'd promised to get me everything on Gelman's list, insisting they were easy enough for him to procure without raising any suspicion.
With Ari's help, the rabbi lowered himself into a chair. He sighed in pleasure, rubbing his knee, and looked over toward the hallway. "My helpers." As if on cue, Kane and Rohan walked into the room, each carrying a box.
I pointed to the ground next to the coffee table. "Set them there, then you can leave."
Kane put his box down. He flung himself onto the sofa, pulling Ari down next to him by both hands. "Nervous? Excited?"
"This isn't a spectator event. Invited guests only." I snapped my fingers at him. "Out. That goes for you too, Mitra." I rushed Rohan as he sat down, trying to knock him out of the chair he'd reached for. He got comfortable and I barely escaped falling into his lap.
"Rabbi," I appealed, "I'm nervous enough about performing this ritual correctly without a home audience."
The rabbi reached into his pocket, pulling out three simple white cloth kippahs, which he distributed to the men. "It's better to have witnesses for this. They can attest that I performed the Brotherhood's induction ceremony which, thanks to God, worked properly this time." I'm glad he believed it would work.