“Bed,” he orders, the gentle tone but a veil over his stern command.
Kade pulls back from me and I take a second to gather my thoughts. Shit. Is this really going to happen? Now? Am I ready? How do I ‘become’ ready? I blink a few times, ignoring the way the fire in my body danced with the nausea. Noticing my uneasiness, Kade extends his hand to me in one slow, comforting movement and I take it. He pulls me up from the floor and escorts me over to his bed. I swallow hard, hoping it’ll take down some of my sudden anxiety with it.
“Nervous?” he asks in a teasing manner, smirking slightly.
I am, but I’m not going to admit it to him. Not after the show I put on this afternoon. I don’t want to go backwards… I want him to be proud of me for being confident. “Should I be?”
“It wouldn’t be the strangest thing.”
Keeping his eyes locked on mine, he frees his belt from his pants and tosses it to the side. Unintentionally, I take a minute step back, until the back of my knees touch the edge of the bed. He looks pointedly at my dress. “Take it off.”
I push the straps off my shoulders and the dress pools in a mess of blue-white fabric at my feet. With a satisfied smile, he steps forward, but I quickly raise my palms.
“Wait.” I inhale then exhale. I want this, I do, but I’m absolutely petrified. “Will it hurt?”
He pushes my hands down and wraps an arm around my waist. He pulls me in, until his naked torso is flush against mine and it feels good—natural even. Under my breasts, I feel his muscles tighten.
“Maybe a little, but I’ll make it feel good, so the pain doesn’t matter.”
Kade urges me back, lowering me onto the mattress. He parts my legs with his knee and slips into the space he created. His lips twitch when his eyes zero in on my rapidly moving chest. I’m not going to lie, I’m nervous as hell. My palms sweat and I have no fabric to wipe it on. I bunch the blanket up in my fists and squeeze as Kade surveys my face. I see his features dampen, becoming more sympathetic than aroused. I want him. I want to run my hands over his hard body, to feel his muscles. He has muscles in places I’ve only seen bone and skin so clean and smooth. It’s like he’s from another world. A world filled with beauty and unity, nothing like the one I live in.
“I want to touch you,” I blurt out, not wanting him to change his mind.
The thought of fisting the blankets through this whole thing unnerves me. I’m not a scared girl. I am a woman, a woman who is choosing to have sex with someone she wants to have sex with and believe it or not, that’s rare in this world and I should feel empowered.
Light ignites in his irises and he lowers his mouth to mine, until his bottom lip brushes teasingly over my own.
“So touch me,” he whispers against my mouth.
Finger by finger, I release the blanket. With free hands, I press them to his sides and his hard muscles contract and twitch under my touch. Holy hell, it has to be the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen. His skin was soft and perfect… my fingertips feel rough against his silkiness and I pause. He is a Fortunate and I am an Unfortunate, yet I’m running my fingers over him like I have the right to. My teachers would slap me in the face if they knew of the disrespectful things I’ve done to him. However, even as the thoughts filter through my mind, I keep touching him… because I want to touch him. Touching him fills me with power, with control, and I crave it. I crave making my own decisions. This isn’t allowed and yet I’m doing it of my own accord.
I admire Kade’s arms as they tighten while he holds his body off of me. I follow the veins up his arms before finally dragging my stare over his collar bone and down his chest. Perfection. All of him.
I trail my fingers down his chest and over his stomach. I don’t stop until my fingers slip under the button on his pants. He tsks at me and the sound has me snapping my hands back to my chest. To my relief, no slaps or nipple pinches ensue.
“I have some things to show you before we get there.”
He kisses my mouth before I have the chance to ask him what he wants to show me. Then, he kisses my chin, my jaw and my neck, trailing heavy kisses down to my chest. His lips brush over the swells of my breasts before his wet mouth engulfs my sensitive nipple. My breath hitches, my hand instantly flying to his hair. He teases it, flicks it with his tongue over and over. Occasionally, he’ll graze me with his teeth and I shudder, earning a smile from him.
“This is my favourite part about sex,” he tells me, trailing warm kisses onto my ribs. “Making us both crazy first, without fucking.”
I quiver as his lips move over my navel and onto my left hip.