No more words are exchanged. I lie in the darkness, listening to the steady rhythm of his breath. I feel it skitter across my cheek, so warm and gentle. I feel safe in this moment. I feel safer than I ever have, even when I was surrounded by my own people in the camp. The Unfortunates in this house… they don’t talk to me. They’d hurt me if they were ordered to, that was proven tonight. I’d never hurt anyone who didn’t deserve it, ordered to or not. Kade is more my people than the others are… he understands me, protects me when no one else will, and for that, he has my full loyalty and trust. Screw everyone else.
On a whim, I angle my head upwards and unexpectedly, my lips brush against his. His entire body tightens, hardens like concrete, and I pause, leaving my lips barely grazing his, allowing it to register with my body. My heart races rapidly, begging for me to kiss him, but my stomach twists painfully, desperately pleading with me not to start something I can’t finish.
“Go to sleep,” he utters against my lips. “This is not what you want tonight.”
“Isn’t it?” I ask, wondering how he can tell. I don’t think it is… my head swims and my body aches, but I’m confused. Lying in here in bed with the man that saved me—that killed for me—is confusing my system.
He brushes a finger along my side, from the base of my rib to my hip, and my entire body tightens painfully. Goosebumps that seem almost excruciating erupt over every inch of my skin and silent tears well in my eyes.
“No,” he says, kissing me ever so softly. “It isn’t.”
He pulls his body away from me and turns around giving me his back. I take note of the way my body relaxes, almost sighs, as it realises it doesn’t have to give him anything and I fight a smile. There he goes again, assuring me that he’s different. That he’s not selfish or out to hurt me. He killed for me. I have his unwavering loyalty, his trust, his protection and maybe, I even have a small piece of his heart, too.
∞
(A few short weeks later)
Weeks pass and we make no move to hurt his father, in fact, we’ve barely spoken of it since the night Michael pressed the barrel of his gun to my temple. Kade has forbid me to leave his room at any time unaccompanied by him. If he leaves without me, he locks the door from the outside and I’m stuck, locked up in the massive room all by myself. It gets a little lonely… especially when he doesn’t come back until well into the night. In those moments, when I hear the door unlock and see him step in, it highlights my entire day. I’m not sure I like the way butterflies run rampant in my stomach when he comes back, or the way my heart beats at a quicker pace, but it happens anyway.
Sometimes we shower together and all of the time we cuddle until we fall to sleep. We don’t talk about it. He refuses to discuss anything that hints to any emotion or memory and I’m content with that for now. He has yet to touch me again like he did the day he blindfolded me and I wake up in the middle of the night, finding myself craving it, craving his touch, but he refuses to put his hands on me. It’s me that usually pushes him for more, desperately wanting him to do something to me, anything, but he never does. He’ll kiss me until my lips swell, until I’m grinding my hips into him, but he won’t take it further. God, I want him to. I want him to so badly. As stupid as it sounds, there’s no one I trust more in this world than him.
This morning, Kade left in a huff and came back just as quick. I sit on the couch, trying hard to ignore him as he storms around the room, cursing under his breath and raking his fingers through his hair.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, knowing better.
Kade pauses and peers at me from underneath his brow. “Not that it’s any of your business, but Michael found out about the mine and he’s pissed. He’s going to pull me as supervisor and second in charge and give the role to Vince.”
I lift myself off the couch and step closer to Kade. “That’s not fair… did you tell him you were going to fix it?”
He shakes his head. “I can’t tell him that. He can’t know I was going to use you to purchase a mine off of Albert. It’ll embarrass him, make things worse.”
I make my way across the room to Kade, who stands by his desk. “What do we do?”
His black irises search mine, flicking between the two. “We have to kill him… before he goes back to the city to make the changes next week.”
My heart stops beating. Kill him? We’re actually going through with that? “It’s been so long since we’ve spoken about it… I assumed you didn’t want to do it anymore.”